4 Months After Giving Birth, I Experienced This…

When my son turned 4 months old, life was getting exciting. He was starting to roll over, only waking up once at night and we were going to start introducing solid foods. He was and is my entire world. Our day to day life was busy with tummy time, nursing sessions, naps, Hey Bear and snuggles. Life was good for our baby boy.

I on the other hand started having some odd and random symptoms. When I first started nursing, I lost weight instantly. My mom said I looked skinny. I mean I lost 5 lbs in the first trimester, and gained 13 lbs until I gave birth. So in actuality I only gained 8 lbs since my pre pregnancy weight. Plus, my baby only weighed 7 lbs 11 oz when he was born. When I first weighed myself after birth, I lost 17 lbs.

On Mother’s Day, which was about 4 months postpartum; I started feeling symptoms. It got up to 75° – 80° that day. I was visiting my parents and we had all the windows on the porch open and I was freezing. I was in leggings, slippers, t-shirt, sweatshirt and I was still cold. I had legit chills almost like I was running a high fever. I checked my temp and was only at 99°. I had this symptom occasionally for the next two weeks.

Within a few days of Mother’s Day, I started feeling fatigue, nausea, leg cramps and a low milk supply. I decided to weigh myself around this time, as I occasionally did every few weeks and to my surprise, I gained 10 lbs in 3 weeks. What was going on? I was doing nothing different.

In mid May, I started having some major cramps. These cramps were just like contractions. The pain sometimes had me doubled over, and radiated from my pelvis to my spine. I was so confused. I knew this wasn’t normal. I took Tylenol to help relieve some of the pain and eventually it went away.

One night I woke up to these pains, and couldn’t go back to sleep. I was doubled over and crying. I was feeling chills again like I had a fever, but my temp was only around 99°. As the pain came in waves, I fought the urge to throw up.

I eventually decided to call my friend Alli and ask her advice. She thought it was possible I was starting my first period after birth or I had a kidney infection. I also called the on call nurse number to get some advice. The nurse on call also thought I had a kidney infection and needed to be seen. She suggested I either go to the ER in the middle of the night or call my OB first thing in the morning and ask to be seen. I picked the latter, snuggled my baby and tried to rest.

The following morning, I went to my parents house so they could watch my baby. I called my OB office and they were able to get me in. I had a pelvic exam/swab done, a pregnancy test and a pelvic ultrasound. Everything came back normal and the pregnancy test was negative. I was thankful they didn’t find anything seriously concerning on the ultrasound, but still frustrated as to why I was feeling the way I was feeling.

About a week later, I had my physical with my primary care doctor. My doctor did the basic exam, and listened as I shared my concerns about my strange symptoms I had been experiencing. She ordered a CBC , as well as spinal X-rays to see if what I was feeling could be related to my spine. After the appointment I got my blood drawn and waited for the results.

About a day later, I had some very shocking results. My thyroid numbers were off the charts. It was reading as very under active and affecting my quality of life. My doctor touched base with me after receiving the results and said I should be put on thyroid meds right away, to help my thyroid to work properly in hopes that I started feeling better.

After receiving these results, I did a little research on my own. I discovered something called Postpartum Thyroiditis, which sounded vastly similar to what I was going through. Basically, your thyroid is over active shortly after birth and within a few months postpartum it flips and becomes under active. This made a lot of sense. My thyroid seemed over active in the beginning of my postpartum journey because I was hungry all the time and lost weight. Around 4 months postpartum it became under active because I started gaining weight, experiencing major fatigue, muscle cramps, and my body was unable to regulate temperature.

This was all so fascinating to me because I seemed to have thyroid problems that were only related to pregnancy. With my first pregnancy, I didn’t know I had thyroid problems. With my second pregnancy, I was on thyroid meds until I had my loss. For my third pregnancy, I was only on thyroid meds for the third trimester.


Thankfully, I am now 8 months postpartum on thyroid meds and doing well. My weight has stabilized, my milk supply is normal, no more muscle cramps, and I am only occasionally cold. Postpartum Thyroiditis is something I had never heard of before, but it is somewhat common to have thyroid issues after birth as your body adjusts to not being pregnant anymore. Who knew?

Reblog: Let’s Talk About Postpartum Body Image

This post was written following my second pregnancy loss. I do plan to write a follow up post very soon, about my postpartum journey after the birth of my son.

Hour glass figure, hips, tiny waist, big boobs, clear skin, luscious hair, big eyes, big butt, long legs, small feet, no stretch marks, straight teeth, and perfection. If you are a woman, odds are you have grown up hearing these unrealistic expectations, These expectations and many more, are what our society deems as perfect, beautiful and sexy.

Growing up, I was never completely confident in my body image. I struggled with acne, I was short, blessed up top and down low. I had to have braces, wear glasses and struggle to figure out how to make myself look presentable. I had to overcome the awkwardness of being a teenager, and transition into young adulthood


BEFORE I GOT PREGNANT THE FIRST TIME, I STRUGGLED WITH STRETCH MARKS, NOT REALLY ON MY STOMACH, BUT IN OTHER AREAS OF MY BODY.


In my first few weeks of pregnancy, I started to develop stretch marks on my stomach and around my belly button. After I suffered my first pregnancy loss, I felt completely horrified by the shell that once held my baby. I had gained weight, developed stretch marks, and had suffered postpartum hair loss as my hormones began to drop. I felt like a teenager all over again, as I struggled to look at myself in the mirror. I know body image can be a struggle for many women postpartum after birth, but nobody really talks about how it is a struggle for women postpartum a miscarriage. 

Last summer, I took the initiative in getting back to a healthier me. I focused on my physical and mental health, as well as dedicated any spare time I had to selfcare. I started intermittent fasting, going to the gym a few times a week with my bestie, and started eating healthier. These little changes in my lifestyle helped me start to feel better. At the end of summer I went to a doctor appointment, and I was so disappointed to find out that despite my dedication to these lifestyle changes, I wasn’t losing any weight. I had gained 3 lbs. instead.

For a few more weeks I continued this lifestyle, even though I felt highly discouraged. I tried researching, online reasons why it may be challenging for someone to lose weight and become healthier after a miscarriage. To my surprise, I couldn’t find anything. I continued to feel discouraged, and not interested in even trying to be healthy any more. I figured, what was the point? I started to have the mentality of, my body is ruined, and I don’t even have a healthy baby to show for it.

When I was about ready to give up, a conversation with a dietitian encouraged me more than any conversation I had with anyone else. I went to a WIC appointment after my second loss. The dietician asked me questions about my diet, physical activity and mental health. I explained to her that I try to eat right, do intermittent fasting, excericise, struggle with hypothyroidism, and still have yet to see any results after both my pregnancies. The dietician listened and was very understanding. She disclosed to me that she too has hypothyroidism, she has had a miscarriage and a healthy pregnancy and also struggles with anxiety. She explained to me that unfortunately it can be very challenging after a pregnancy whether you give birth or suffer a pregnancy loss to lose weight. It is often hard for women physically because of the hormones that linger after pregnancy. It can also be challenging to lose weight in general if someone struggles with anxiety, depression or grief because our bodies like to hold on to the extra fat, almost as a protection. She encouraged me not to give up and that it can definetly take a while, especially if I am struggling with all these things. She also suggested eliminating late night snacking, drinking more water, and getting plenty of rest.

I’ve learned a lot about body image since my first pregnancy. For one, pregnancy affects a lot of things in a woman’s body. Anything from a woman’s mood to her thyroid, weight and blood pressure can be very effected. I’ve also learned that weight gain isn’t always your fault. Sometimes as much as you try to lose weight, there can be certain factors that affect how fast you lose weight. Learning this eased my anxiety and discouragement. For weeks, I was beating myself up about my weight, when in reality I was truly doing all I could do. So if you are a woman and you too are struggling with postpartum body image, please show yourself some grace. It’s hard losing weight, but it can be extremely hard when you have other physical and mental struggles going on.


SO, DON’T GIVE UP. EVEN IF YOU’RE NOT SEEING RESULTS, AND EVEN IF THE SCALE IS DISCOURAGING, IF YOU ARE INTENTIONALLY TRYING TO BE HEALTHIER, AND PUTTING YOUR HEALTH FIRST… YOU ARE MAKING A DIFFERENCE.


January is Thyroid Awareness Month

This month is Thyroid Awareness Month. As many of you know, I have struggled with my thyroid since my first pregnancy. I didn’t realize I had thyroid problems until my second loss. My TSH was elevated and I was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism.

During my second pregnancy, I was put on thyroid medicine to regulate my levels. The medicine worked, however my second pregnancy ended in an additional loss.

After experiencing two losses, I continued the medication for about a year. I got my blood work done every 3 months and noticed some change in my every life. Before taking the medication I had dry scalp, dry damaged hair, dry skin, consistent fatigue, obesity and slow metabolism which resulted in gaining weight and low energy levels.

After about a year of being on the thyroid medication, I ran into some issues with my pharmacy and not getting the meds I needed. After about three months without the meds, I had blood work done and my levels were still very stable. My doctors had different opinions at this point on if I truly had hypothyroidism or if I had another auto immune disease disguised as thyroid problems.

Fast forward to my third pregnancy, when I had my levels checked in the first trimester. After not being on the thyroid meds for over a year and a half, I expected my levels to be elevated. Surprisingly, my levels were great and ideal for pregnancy. In the third trimester my levels were checked again, and my thyroid was off. I was considered to have normal thyroid numbers when it comes to the average person, but for pregnancy they were considered elevated.

At this point I was put back on the thyroid meds and considered to just have thyroid problems related to pregnancy.


I share all of this with you because thyroid problems are quite common. Hyperthyroidism, Hypothyroidism and thyroid problems related to pregnancy are very common, even though they aren’t talked about very often. It amazed me the first time I find out I had thyroid problems. I never realized how much the butterfly shaped organ can affect the everyday function of your body.

If you have problems with your thyroid, or suspect you do, I encourage you talk to your doctor and search for different resources. There’s a lot of things out there that can help.

A Recap of 2021

2021 was overall a good year. There were some changes, some things that remained the same, some let downs, some celebrations and a lot of growth. The biggest thing that happen was God blessing us with the opportunity to start a family, and we are over the moon thankful. ❤️

A Recap for 2021

January
  • Published Mackenzie Goes to Heaven Coloring Book
February
  • My Hubby turned 25!
March
  • My Kitty Rocky turned 1!
  • Changed shifts and became an opener at my job.
  • I celebrated 1 year at my job as a lead preschool teacher.
April
  • Started writing my second children’s book.
  • Paid off my car.
  • Bought a new car.
  • Got Pregnant with our Rainbow Baby. 🌈
May
  • Started Growing Avocado Trees
  • Celebrated Teacher Appreciation Week with my fellow teachers!
  • Celebrated my first Mother’s Day pregnant.
  • We had our dating ultrasound and got to see Baby Bear for the first time.
  • Told my family and close friends I was expecting.
June
  • Made our Big Announcement that our Rainbow Baby was on the way!
  • Made it to the 2nd trimester in my pregnancy!
  • We had sequential screening done and got to see Baby Bear again!
  • Started craving lemons and pickles. Had a feeling we were expecting a Boy.
July
  • Started feeling Baby flutters
  • Won the Dustpan Award for the cleanest classroom at work.
  • Celebrated Rocky’s 1 year adoption!
August
  • Heard Baby Bear’s heartbeat using a Doppler for the first time.
  • Had our anatomy scan and gender reveal. We were excited to find out we were having a Baby Boy!!! 💙
  • I turned 26!
September
  • Went on a Fall themed Girl’s Getaway with my friends Alli and Andrea.
  • Told myself it was okay to start buying baby items.
October
  • Held a virtual Baby Book Party!
  • Honored my babies on Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day
  • Started Decorating the Nursery.
  • Made it to the third trimester!
November
  • Tested Positive for Covid, and had to be quarantined for two weeks
  • Got diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes and was bumped up to a high risk pregnancy.
  • Celebrated 5 years of marriage with my husband.
December
  • Packed our bags for the hospital and prepared for Baby Boy’s arrival.
  • Had our last ultrasound and discovered that Baby Boy has long thick hair.
  • Got diagnosed with thyroid problems associated with pregnancy.
  • Took a few maternity photos.
  • Went on maternity leave.
A Recap of My 2021 Goals
  • Publish My Memoir ❌
  • Pay off my Car ✔️
  • Receive my FLE Certification ❌
  • Lose 20 lbs. ❌
  • Buy a New Car ✔️
  • Publish a Second Children’s Book ❌
  • Read the entire Bible ❌
  • Start a Family ✔️
  • Pay Off My Credit Card ❌
  • Publish a Self Care Journal ❌

Grief & Mercy 6th Blog Post Round Up

It’s round up time again! I am sharing my most liked, commented and viewed posts since my last round up. Check it out!

Sequential Screening During the 12th Week of Pregnancy

In this post I discuss not only the anxiety that comes with going through a pregnancy after loss, but also our experience with different genetic testing.

First Few Little Kicks

Feeling baby kicks for the first time was amazing and nothing like I had ever experienced. ❤️

18 Weeks Pregnant! (Third Pregnancy/ Second Trimester)

This post is about my pregnancy update at 18 weeks.

Gender Reveal! 20 Week Anatomy Scan

Hitting half way in my pregnancy was a huge milestone. Going to our anatomy scan and being able to see baby and all his features was so exciting. My favorite part was finding out what we were having. 🥰

27 Weeks Pregnant! (Third Pregnancy/ Second Trimester)

This post is about my 27 week update of my pregnancy.

Decorating the Nursery/ Organizing Baby’s Things

In a one bedroom apartment, you are very limited on space. However, I love how our bedroom/baby’s nursery turned out 🥰

10 Things I Will Miss About Being Pregnant

For the most part I had a pretty easy pregnancy until I hit the third trimester. In the third trimester I dealt with GD, thyroid problems and covid. In this post, I talk about the things I will soon miss about being pregnant.

Feeling a Little Extra Thankful

Being pregnant on Thanksgiving was a lot of fun. Charles and I cherished our little family of two + a fur baby, before our rainbow baby arrives. We also spent the morning cooking together.

37 Weeks Pregnant! (Third Pregnancy/ Third Trimester)

In this post I give a 37 week pregnancy update, and talk about ways I am preparing for labor.


A Look Ahead…
My Top 10 Favorite Date Night Ideas
DIY Padsicles and Postpartum Care

Discussing Family Planning with My OB

Recently, I had a very important appointment with my OBGYN. In the past I have had a variety of good appointments, and a variety of traumatic appointments at my OB’s office. However, this time was different, and surprisingly I had a very positive experience.

I made the appointment with my OB to discuss family planning and how to be a healthier me. It had been over a year since I had suffered my second miscarriage. So this appointment wasn’t a follow up physical and mental health appointment, nor was this appointment a pregnancy appointment. This appointment was just a let’s sit down and talk about how to be healthy appointment.

At this appointment my doctor seemed happy to see me. She was impressed that I graduated college, have a full time job as a teacher, have become more active and lost 20lbs in the last year, and that I have found ways to better manage my stress.

Throughout the appointment we discussed family planning and trying to concieve. My husband and I aren’t actively trying to concieve but rather, allowing it to happen if it does, and not preventing it if it does. We also discussed adoption and how this is the first avenue we plan to pursue.

In the end my doctor was very positive and hopeful that someday I could have a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby. But for now she is 100% supportive of my decision in getting healthy and working towards a child filled future.

Some things my doctor encouraged me to do as we plan for a family, include the following…

1. Start taking prenatal vitamins daily

2. Start taking my anxiety meds daily

3. Have my thyroid levels checked and managed regularly,

4. Continue to be active daily.

5. Strive for a better BMI, by starting with small goals, such as losing 10 lbs.

6. Drink plenty of water daily (48 oz.)

A Recap of 2019

What can I say about 2019? This year has been life changing, hard, emotional, shocking, grief stricken, crazy, a whirlwind, encouraging and just down right challenging. Regardless, of the fact that the bad often out weighed the good, I’m thankful. Another year is in the books. I would like to take a moment and take a look back at my 2019.

In January…

I found out I was pregnant

I started my first internship at a government agency.

I became president of a student organization.

In February…

I saw my baby on ultrasound

I suffered my first miscarriage

I had a D & C

I switched internship sites, and started interning for the Sexual Assault Awareness Campaign on campus.

In March…

March is a blur.

I recovered physically from surgery.

Emotionally I was in a fog.

In April…

I presented on Trauma in my internship.

I received the Healing and Growth Award at my internship.

Started my Blog!!!

In May…

I celebrated my first Mother’s Day

I took a getaway to the lake shore with my husband.

I completed my internship.

In June…

Got diagnosed with hypothyroidism

Committed to a Summer of Self care

Started another internship

Reopened my Etsy Shop.

In July…

Published for the first time, my story in a magazine.

In August…

Started working out regularly.

Started my senior year of college.

Attended a University football game.

In September…

Got pregnant for the second time.

Honored my due date

Took a weekend trip to the cabin with my girls

Suffered a second miscarriage.

In October…

Started writing my book.

Became temporarily anemic

Celebrated Pregnancy and Infant Loss Rememberance Day.

Hubby got in a car accident.

Applied and got approved for graduation in April 2020.

In November…

Decorated for Christmas

Hosted a Friendsgiving with my college friends.

Celebrated 3 years of marriage.

Cooked my first Thanksgiving dinner for my husband and I.

Presented a speech on miscarriage.

In December…

Finished my second to last semester of college.

Got another car.


All in all, this year has been a little crazy. I pray that the new decade and new year is sweeter, and smoother for everyone.