Out with the Old, and In with the New

Plants, Self Care

Back in the beginning of April I planted some plants. Unfortunately none of them made it due to cold Michigan mornings, lack of sunlight and extra water. So, this past weekend I decided to try again.

This is my mosquito plant, and I shall call him Chester. I have Chester right near my door to hopefully keep the mosquitoes away. Bonus, Chester gives off a lemon-like fragrance that smells oh so fresh.

This is Lilly Lettuce. Lily will hopefully grow up and produce some yummy lettuce for salads and tacos!

This is Harry the cherry tomato plant. Harry is thriving in his watering can pot. I can’t wait to see your yummy tomatoes Harry!

These are my lovely radishes who have already started to sprout. I shall call them the Rebels because they took no time at all to reach their milestones.

These are the Spice Girl peppers new and improved! Let’s see if we can grow some spicy peppers!

This is Henry my BIG tomato plant. Henry has already grown an inch! I’m so proud of you Henry. Can’t wait to see your tomatoes!

This is Clive the Chive. Clive is pretty chill, just growing and smelling like onion.

Albert is back and cooler than ever! Albert is my cilantro plant and I can’t wait until you sprout little buddy!

This is Sandy. I didn’t plant Sandy. I actually found her in a store… and it was love at first sight. Sandy is thriving and she loves the heat!

And here are my flowers, and I will call them Sunshine. I was slightly nervous to plant flowers as I am not a huge fan of bees. But I think having flowers will be a nice touch to our balcony.

Well, there you have it. Those are all my plant babies! Can’t wait to see them grow, grow, GROW!

My Summer 2020 Bucket List

Goals, Self Care

It’s almost Summertime! And that means it is time to set some goals and create my summer bucket list. So, here we go.

My Summer 2020 Bucket List

1. Write and post 200 blog posts… I have about 140 so far.
2. Finish first draft of my memoir.
3. Crochet a large blanket.
4. Grow my plants and produce fruits, veggies and spices.
5. Visit the lake shore…. at least once.
6. Apply and receive my Family Life Education certification.
7. Have a Game Night with friends.
8. Buy a coffee table for my living room.
9. Create and commit to a yoga routine.
10. Create and publish a children’s book.

Deadline for meeting these goals: August 30th, 2020

My Dining Room Reveal!

Home Decor, Just Me Blogging

Hello Friends! Last weekend, I did something pretty cool. My husband and I bought a new dining room table from Walmart. It took us most of Sunday to put it together, but we finally did it! I’m super excited for you to see my dining room!

One of the first things we did after putting together the table and chairs, was putting together our bulletin board. For awhile now I have had a bulletin board, and a dry erase calendar. They both take up quite a bit of space on the wall, so I thought… why not combine them! This was a fun little DIY project I did by using materials I already had, and making it work for our family.

I am so impressed with how our dining room turned out, and how our apartment is coming together beautifully! I simply can’t wait to have Sunday morning breakfast and holiday meals in our new dining room. What room would you like to see next? Kitchen? Laundry Room? Balcony? Let me know! 💕

It’s Been a Year

Just Me Blogging

It’s been a year… a full year. It’s been a year since I made a decision that would forever change my life. It’s been a year since I took on a new hobby, that I never thought I would be good at. It’s been a year since I made myself vulnerable and shared my story with the world. It’s bann a year of craziness, growth and healing. It’s been a year since I started this blog called Grief and Mercy, and it has changed my life.

When I first started my blog, I truly, truly didn’t think anyone would read it… except maybe my mom. I’ve enjoyed writing/journaling for a long time, but didn’t think I had what it takes to be a blogger. It wasn’t until my blog was receiving daily views that made me feel like a blogger.

Also, I am absolutely blown away by the statistics my blog has gathered within a year. I’m not sure how any of you feel about numbers, and math but I find it interesting. I’d like to share some with you if that’s okay.

In the last year my blog has received…

3,898 Views

2,351 Visitors

511 Likes

37 Comments

In April 2019 compared to April 2020…

148 Views – 150 Views

98 Visitors – 113 Visitors

1 Like – 18 Likes

Recently, I also reached a goal that I want to thank each and every one of you for. My goal I set around Christmas 2019, was that I could reach 100 followers on my blog by May 1st. I am happy to announce that I reached that goal on April 13th and now have 103 followers.

Thank you so much to every single one of you for supporting and joining me on this journey. I have enjoyed blogging so much this past year, and hope to continue blogging for a long time. Thank you so much to everyone who took a chance on reading my first post and have stuck with me since the very beginning. I also want to thank those who have joined me just recently. Lastly, I also want to acknowledge those who may have stumbled across my blog because they found comfort and could relate to my story. Thank you! Thank you everyone!

So far I have written 147 blog posts. This time next year I hope to have written 300. I hope to continue getting followers… 50 more would be nice. I also hope to incorporate new content into my blog. For now, I am going to sign off, as I still have some homework to get done. But I will say, in my very first blog post I said I was taking a leap of faith… and I am so glad I did!

20 Things to do During This Pandemic

Just Me Blogging

Is it just me, or is anyone else confused about what day it is? This pandemic is a very unique situation, and it can be easy to feel discouraged, depressed, angry and down. That is why I have compiled a list of 20 things to do while many of us are spending our time at home.

One thing I have done to occupy my time at home is to grow some plants. Now, normally I wouldn’t consider myself to have a green thumb, but I am optimistic and up to the challenge to be a plant mommy. I hope these ideas of what to do during a pandemic are helpful!

My Bedroom Reveal!

Home Decor, Just Me Blogging

Tackling my bedroom was actually easier than I thought. I absolutely love the extra space and how it immediately felt like home!

Decorating my bedroom has been super enjoyable. I was able to incorporate some old decor, as well as add a touch of new! I absolutely love the natural lighting, compared to our old home. When we moved we were able to purchase some new lamps from Target, and a comforter from Home Goods. Sadly, our comforter is on back order until this whole virus business is over, so the old comforter will have to do for now. I am also excited I now have room to display some photos of our loved ones in our bedroom.

My tapestry is one of my favorite things in our bedroom. It used to be in our old living room, but I find that it fits better in here. It’s so rustic and tranquil that it almost makes me feel like I am in a peaceful part of the woods.

Well there you have it! I hope you enjoyed my bedroom reveal! What room would you like to see next? Kitchen? Living room? Closets? Let me know!

My Bathroom Reveal!

Home Decor

On March 20th, we moved into our new home. Originally, I didn’t think I would have much time to unpack and organize our new home. But with the stay at home order in place, I have nothing but time at home. I have been diligently organizing and decorating each room until I feel it is complete. I am happy to announce that my bathroom is ready for its’ big reveal! So without further or do… here is my bathroom!

I absolutely love the openness of my bathroom. It is the biggest bathroom we’ve ever had!

I was able to keep some of my old beach themed bathroom decor, as well as add some new pieces. These beach pictures were a dollar store find!

Charles picked out the shower curtain from Target. It has cute raindrops and is absolutely perfect.

The counter space is AMAZING! There’s enough space for the counter not to feel cluttered, but still have our things accessible.

There is so much room with cabinet space, closet space and a medicine cabinet.

Before and after…

There you have it! I hope you enjoyed my bathroom reveal! Keep an eye out for more room reveals! 🙂

How Does Yoga Help?

Goals, Physical Health

This semester, I decided to take a class for my health. Since last spring, I have been striving to do better, and become a healthier me. One of the ways I have been doing this is by taking a yoga class.

At first, I wasn’t sure how I was going to feel about this class. This class was not required for my degree, or needed for me to graduate. Therefore, I was afraid I may not be motivated to go to this class, and even look at it as a obligation, instead of a reward or opportunity.

In my first yoga class we learned how to find our breath. We did some deep breathing, learning how to be still and and relax. I felt like the class was very simple and didn’t notice much of a change in my mind, breath or body. However, a few hours later, as I made pizzas at work, I felt different. Even though I was physically tired from the day, mentally I was great. My mind was clear and I felt very zen.

Throughout the first few weeks of the semester, each yoga session has gotten a little more challenging physically, but has also had me feeling very calm, peaceful and zen. Even on the days I don’t have yoga, I find myself finding my breath and taking a moment to rest my mind.

I am truly looking forward to this semester and how my yoga class will help me in any challenges I may face. Namaste 🙏

Counseling & Sea Glass

Just Me Blogging

As many of you know, I spent a handful of hours in counseling last year after my first miscarriage. Through counseling I was able to develop coping skills such as self talk, reflection, and anxiety management. I was in counseling approximately once a week from March to July. At the end of June I essentially “graduated” from counseling for awhile until I felt a need to return.

Since coming back to counseling after suffering my second miscarriage at the end of September; I have begun to rebuild the skills I had started to lose. This time around in counseling, not only have I gone more in-depth about grief and advocacy but also on how I can be in the NOW. As a student, planner, organization freak and perfectionist, I take pride in planning the future. Planning helps me prepare for change, and also prepare if things don’t go as planned. However, I really struggle with living in the NOW. I have lost that feeling, and that state of just being.

My counselor, who is a AMAZING I might add; had an idea for myself, and other students just like me. In her office she has on her desk a bowl of sea glass. Each piece of sea glass is different. Some are round. Some are rough. Some have cracks in them. Some are shaped like diamonds. Each piece is unique for each person. My counselor allowed each one of her students to take a piece of sea glass to hold on too. She explained to me that we as people need something tangible. We need something to hold on to. We need something to ground us.

So, everyday I carry with me my little piece of sea glass. I reach into my pocket and feel the smooth diamond shape. Sometimes I pull it out of my pocket and admire its’ little crack in the center. This crack reminds me of myself, in the sense that I’m scarred but I’m not broken. It is a wonderful, real item that I feel, and serves as a reminder that it is okay to live in the now.

Our Christmas Tradition

Just Me Blogging

Merry Christmas Eve Friends! I can’t believe it’s already the 24th of December. This month is flying by! Every Christmas my husband Charlie and I share a little Christmas tradition.

Have any of you ever seen the classic movie A Christmas Story? In my family, I was raised watching this movie every Christmas. It is an old and corky classic, that you can’t help but love. There are many scenes in this movie you might be familiar with, even if you haven’t watched the movie from beginning to end. For instance the dad cusses like a sailor, and the furnace is always malfunctioning. Or the youngest son in the movie gets wrapped in too many layers of snow gear by his mom, and is temporarily stuck in a T shaped position until he makes it to school. Or how about how the oldest son Ralphy is given a bright pink bunny suit from an auntie for Christmas… and later gets a BB gun and gets struck by an icicle. There are a lot of great scenes from this Christmas classic, and I don’t want to spoil it if you haven’t seen it. But my favorite part of the movie is when the neighbor’s Rottweilers stampede through the family kitchen and destroy Christmas dinner. It’s sad for only a moment, until the family decides to go out for Chinese food for Christmas dinner instead.

That is where our tradition got started. A few years ago, my parents and I would get Chinese food for Christmas dinner. When I married my husband in 2016, we continued the tradition. Sometimes we get Chinese food on Christmas Eve and sometimes on Christmas Day. It all really depends on when the Chinese restaurants close and how things play out each year. This year I have a feeling we will be enjoying our Chinese food tonight, and enjoy any leftovers on Christmas Day.


What are your Christmas traditions?


Merry Christmas Friends! I wish you all a safe and happy holiday

My Top 10 Favorite Inspirational Quotes

Self Care, Top 10 Lists

1. “Act as if what you do makes a difference, it does.” – William James

2. “Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment, until it becomes a memory.” – Dr. Seuss

3. “ Instead of letting your hardships and failures discourage or exhaust you, let them inspire you.” – Michelle Obama

4. Grief is a privileged portal into soul work and transformation.” – Richard Rohr

5. “Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” – Benjamin Franklin

6. “All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.” – Walt Disney

7. “You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.“ – Cayla Mills

8. “She remembered who she was and the game changed.” – Lalah Delilah

9. “Be a rainbow in someone else’s cloud. “ – Maya Angelou

10. “Life is like a camera. You focus on what’s important, capture the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don’t work out… take another shot.” – Author Unknown

My “Feel Good” Playlist

Just Me Blogging, Top 10 Lists

My Feel Good Playlist

1. Keep You’re Head Up – by Andy Grammer

2. How Far I’ll Go – by Auil’i Cravalho

3. I Gotta Feeling – by Black Eyed Peas

4. Just the Way You Are – by Bruno Mars

5. Fallin’ for You – by Collbie Caillat

6. Tell Me You Love Me – by Demi Lovato

7. Perfect – by Ed Sheeran

8. How to Save a Life – by The Fray

9. Come to Me – by Jamie Grace

10. I Won’t Give Up – by Jason Miraz

11. Say – by John Mayer

12. Good Morning – by Mandisa

13. Uptown Funk – by Bruno Mars

14. She Will Be Loved – by Maroon 5

15. Shake It Off – by Taylor Swift

A Weekend Away to Honor My Due Date

Miscarriage, Pregnancy

On Friday September 13th, my best friends Alli, Andrea and I all took a trip to their family’s cabin. This was a well needed trip as not only did we all need a vacation and time to catch up with one another, but I also wanted to take time away to grieve and honor my due date. My due date with Mackenzie was technically on September 16th, but since that day landed on a Monday, we decided to take a weekend trip instead.

The night before leaving for our trip, I decided to share with Andrea and Alli that I was pregnant again. I sent them both a picture of my felt letter board declaring that I was 5 weeks. They both were very excited for us and even suspected I might be pregnant again.

On Friday evening around 5pm, we left for our trip. We were headed up north. We spent the car ride talking and catching up. On the way to the cabin we stopped to get gas, get some groceries, and even got some Subway. When we arrived at the cabin, we got everything situated including turning on the water, and bringing in our luggage. We spent the evening playing board games, and telling stories. It was the perfect way to start our weekend away.

The next morning we woke up to a site so incredibly tranquil. In the living room of the cabin, there is a beautiful front window that faces miles of woods and meadow. This scene is especially beautiful in the mornings as the sun is rising, and the sun shines through the leaves of the trees. That morning we were able to see this beautiful scene, along with deer frolicking through the woods, and the sound of birds singing their morning song. It was breath taking.

That morning I also told my parents about my pregnancy. I texted my Dad and Grandma a picture of my felt board, and I told my mom over the phone. My mom cried but seemed okay. My dad seemed okay but was cautious as well. Later, the three of us headed to Traverse City Michigan. This city was just over an hour away from our cabin. In Traverse City, we walked around enjoying some window shopping. We also took a stroll down to the lake shore and enjoyed beautiful Lake Michigan. Andrea and I relaxed and sat in the sand. Alli took a stroll down the shore.

As I sat on the shore, I took a few moments to soak it all in. As I heard the waves crash on to the shore, I went deep into thought. I was supposed to be having Mackenzie right now. I was supposed to be in labor and giving birth. I was supposed to be preparing to hold my baby. These were things I thought were supposed to be different. I reflected back to this last year, when 2019 began. I got pregnant. I was so scared, but so incredibly excited. I enjoyed my pregnancy, fell in love with my baby, and prepared to announce with my family. My heart shattered when we were given the news our baby no longer had a heart beat. I went through grief, surgery, thyroid problems, weight and postpartum struggles, depression and anxiety. I also started a blog, shared my story in Toi Magazine, got a job as an assistant editor, developed relationships and friendships with other wonderful women, and even started my own business. Lastly, I came to a place where I conquered my worst fear. Losing Mackenzie was the hardest event in my life I have ever experienced, but through it, as my momma would say, I have become resilient.


I am stronger and more resilient because of Mackenzie and because of what God has allowed me to go through. Due to this, I am filled with gratitude.


I continued thinking about how far I’ve come and where I am now. I am pregnant again, I thought. I had come full circle. I thanked God for this beautiful baby. I even thanked Mackenzie for sending us little Chase right when we needed him most. I held a tiny bit of guilt and feared I was replacing Mackenzie with this baby, but I knew I wasn’t. When I last visited Mackenzie’s garden, I asked her to send us another baby. I knew then that God would send us another baby in His timing.

When we returned from Traverse City, we all took a nap back at the cabin. After our nap we made dinner together. Homemade pizza and salad is what was on the menu. It was delicious and fun to cook together. For the rest of the trip, we continued bonding, telling stories and catching up on each other’s lives. Since Andrea and I were both pregnant, the conversation was often surrounded around pregnancy and comparing each of our pregnancies. I am really thankful to have been able to go on this trip with my girls, as well as go to the lakeshore to reflect and honor my due date.

I am Thankful… 30 Things I am Thankful for.

Just Me Blogging

It is officially November 1st! I can.t believe it. Time is sure flying by! It will be Thanksgiving before you know it. 🙂 Since it is November 1st, I have decided to write 30 things I am thankful for. Here we go……

1. Fall Colors and Changing Leaves 🍁

2. Pumpkin Spice EVERYTHING! 🎃

3. My Parents ❤️

4. My Home 🏠

5. My Husband ❤️

6. Doughnuts 🍩

7. My Education… I’m Almost Done! 📚

8. My Job 💻

9. My Health 🍎

10. My Readers of My Blog ❤️

11. My Family ❤️

12. Medical Insurance ✝️

13. Nature 🌳

14. Michigan 🥧

15. Communication ☎️

16. New Recipes 🍰

17. My Angel Mackenzie ❤️

18. PJs 👚

19. Rainy Days ☔️

20. Buffalo Wings 🍗

21. Thanksgiving 🐔

22. Warm Blankets 🧶

23. My Friends ❤️

24. Netflix 📺

25. Coffee ☕️

26. Pumpkins 🎃

27. Jesus ✝️

28. Faith ✝️

29. New Clothes 👗

30. Our New Little Blessing ❤️

Grief & Mercy 2nd Blog Post Round Up: A Look at My MOST Recent, Liked and Popular Blog Posts

Just Me Blogging

1. Grief & Mercy Blog Q & A: I Am Answering All Your Questions About Miscarriage, Grief, Healing, Recovery and My Personal Experience

I really enjoyed writing this post. On Instagram a few weeks prior to writing this post, I asked women who have suffered a loss, if they had any questions that they would like me to answer. I truly enjoyed answering all your questions as well as sharing my own experience.

2. My First BIG Opportunity as a Blogger

This post was fun to write because this was my big break. I had no idea when first starting my blog I would be asked to share my story in a magazine and eventually work for that company. It’s honestly another example of the great big plan that God has for me, that I couldn’t see at my very lowest point.

3. Mother’s Day Part 1, 2 and 3

My Mother’s Day posts were pretty popular. I enjoyed writing these posts because I was able to reflect my first Mother’s Day weekend as an Angel Mommy. I divided this post into 3 parts because I didn’t want to overwhelm my readers and honestly each post had a specific purpose. Part 1 was more about strengthening my marriage. Part 2 was about grief and advocacy and Part 3 was about peace and comfort.

4. National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day October 15th

To be honest, before suffering a loss… I had no idea there was a whole month dedicated to Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness. This year, I have looked at the month of October completely differently. This is the month that we remember all the babies gone too soon. I loved writing this post, as I yet again was able to advocate for women who have suffered a loss.

5. The Things to Say and Do After a Woman Has Had a Miscarriage

This post is all about things to say and do after a woman has had a miscarriage. After suffering a loss myself, I realized truly how many people don’t know what to say or how to comfort someone after a loss. I felt it was truly important to write this post so more and more people know how to help an Angel Mommy in her grief.

6. The Decision to Try Again

Writing this post felt like I had reached a moment of peace. I had peace in knowing what had happen, happen for a reason. I also had peace at whatever would happen next.

7. The Best Thing My Husband Ever Told Me After My Miscarriage

This post is one of my personal favorites as, not only does it have one of my favorite engagement photos, but it also allowed me a place to publicly thank my husband for being my rock. Though we have had our ups and downs, Charles has truly been amazing through our loss.

8. A Breakthrough in Counseling and Finding Acceptance

My Breakthrough, a moment I knew I would hit eventually…. when I realized that I had come to a place where I would one day want to try again. I share my Breakthrough in Counseling with all of you to not only break the stigma of counseling, but to also show that with a lot of time and work, healing does happen.

9. Making Peace with God

I was angry…. so incredibly anger. But through a lot of work, I was able to restore my faith and find peace in my heartache. In this post I not only discuss my faith but also about how I came to terms with my loss.

10. Redoing My Home Office

Redoing My Home office was a project I have been wanting to tackle for awhile. This past summer I was able to accomplish this goal. In this post I take you through the various changes and organization to make my home office.

11. Mackenzie’s Stepping Stone and Flower Garden

Creating Mackenzie’s garden was peaceful and unbearable. In this post I discuss the closure that was felt between my family and I as we created Mackenzie’s garden.

12. Reopening My Etsy Shop

Reopening my Etsy Shop was super exciting. I love creating and selling beautiful handmade baby items. Check out how I reopened my shop, and check out my shop link located on my main page and in this post.

13. Trying to Conceive (TTC) Lifestyle

Early morning workouts, prenatal vitamins and positive affirmations are many things I tried while beginning my trying to conceive lifestyle. Check out this post to read more about how I prepared my mind, heart and body for the future.


A Look Ahead…

Taking Pregnancy Tests is Exhausting

The title of this post is pretty self explanatory. Coming soon!

A Weekend Away to Honor My Due Date

A Weekend Away with the girls filled with laughter, coffee, cold mornings, woods, homemade pizza, Lake Michigan, and girl talk. Coming up soon!