My 3rd Grief and Mercy Blog Post Round Up: A Look at my Most Liked and Viewed Posts

Just Me Blogging
A Weekend Away to Honor My Due Date

This post was one of my favorites, as not only was I honoring my beautiful angel baby, but I was also pregnant for a 2nd time.

6 Weeks Pregnant

When you’re pregnant, every week is a milestone. And I was super excited when I reached 6 weeks of pregnancy.

7 Weeks Pregnant

At 7 weeks of pregnancy, I took my last bump picture. I had no idea I was going to experience another pregnancy loss.

A Scare at 7 Weeks and 3 Days

This blog post was hard to write… mostly because I already knew the outcome. I knew that even though I hoped and prayed my baby would be okay, we would end up experiencing another loss. I also feel, that when I discussed our trip to the hospital, I was able to see just how strong our marriage had gotten after experiencing so much heartache and grief.

My Worst Fear… Again

I dreaded writing this blog post, even though I needed to and even though I knew it would help me. Sharing with friends, family and all my readers that I had experienced another loss was devastating. However, I was overcome yet again with tremendous love and support.

Let’s Change the Way We Treat Women Who Have Suffered a Miscarriage

This post was about my first opportunity I was able to speak and give a speech on the topic of pregnancy loss. It was challenging, it was stressful, and it was very rewarding as I felt I truly made a difference.

I Feel Like Job

While writing this post I was going through something, that’s for sure. God and I also weren’t as close. This post basically shows all the thoughts and questions in my head as to why bad things happen, and why God chose me to suffer. I still ask these questions sometimes, but I have found some peace and answers through prayer and the book of Job.

Goals for 2020

This blog post was the first step to a good year. Though I didn’t realize there would be a world pandemic, I am thankful for the many blessings I have received.

10 Things to Get Inspired and Fight Writer’s Block

This post was a fun one to write and honestly super popular. I think every writer and blogger struggles with writer’s block at some point. This post is just a few tips to help you in case you’re stuck. Also, this blog post was reblogged on another bloggers page. I am super honored and thankful.

It’s Okay to Not Be Okay

One year from my first pregnancy loss was hard, and I was certainly not okay that day. This post is all about how I spent the day and how it is okay to grieve in your own way and in your own time.

My Bathroom Reveal!

In the midst of a pandemic, my husband and I moved to our new home. I spent so much time decorating and cleaning, that I couldn’t wait to share it with all of you! This post is a look at how I decorated my bathroom.

Counseling and Sea Glass

This post was short and simple, but had so much meaning. In this post I discuss the importance of staying grounded.

Cowboy Salsa Recipe

This recipe is super yummy, and I am even considering making it again soon!

My Living Room Reveal!

When my living room was complete, I was over the moon excited and couldn’t wait to share with all of you!

I’ve Been Thinking About You A Lot These Days…

I dreaded writing this post, just because I knew it would be hard. This post is all about honoring and remembering my baby Chase.


Well, there you have it! A look at my most liked, and viewed blog post. Here is a look at what’s coming to the blog very soon.

  • Children’s Activities
  • Date Night Ideas
  • My Balcony Reveal
  • My Kitchen Reveal
  • My Children’s Book

Making Progress on my Books

Goals, Just Me Blogging

In the midst of this quarantine and stay at home order, I have been busy at work creating my books. I am in the process of creating 3 different books.

The first I started writing is my memoir. This book is the most detailed and is taking me the most time to complete. I am on chapter 7 out of 20 on the first draft. This book is coming along and I am hoping to have it done by Christmas.

My second book is my children’s book about grief and pregnancy loss. This book is in its’ finial stages of the publishing process and will hopefully be done very soon.

My last writing project is a journal of some sort. I’m not entirely sure who my audience is, or what the theme of this journal will be… but we will see. It’s all a work in progress.

Writing and publishing a book has always been a dream of mine. However, with many dreams you must first have patience and put in a lot of hard work. Therefore, it can become very easy to get unmotivated in accomplishing these dreams. There are moments where I feel stagnant, but that will not stop me from reaching my dreams. Like anything else I know all this hard work will eventually pay off.

Missing You A lot These Days…

Life After Miscarriage, Miscarriage, Pregnancy

May 13th, 2020. Three days after Mother’s Day. This day had never been so important to me, until I found I was pregnant for a second time. Looking at that second line on a pregnancy test on a late September evening, I thought “This is it. This is my rainbow baby. Thank you Jesus” My joy only lasted for about 20 days, until I started spotting and realized I would lose this baby.

I was pregnant for 7 weeks with a baby my husband and I named Chase. We named him Chase because we were Chasing our Rainbow. Unfortunately that wasn’t”t God’s plan. Chase was only physically with me for a short time, but will be in our hearts forever.

I miss you Chase. I miss you so much. You were in my life for a short time, and as hard as it was to let you go, I thank God for you. Losing you was devastating, but knowing there were other angels in Heaven waiting to take care of you, brought me comfort.

Happy due date Chase. Sorry it has taken me so long to acknowledge this, but I just couldn’t write out my thoughts and feelings until I was ready. I love Baby Chase. 💕

It’s Okay To Not Be Okay

Miscarriage

It’s okay to not be okay… and today I am not okay. A year ago today I was happy. I went to a doctor appointment that I thought would leave me joyous and thankful. Instead it left me with every emotion imaginable, and this is when my grief first began. I was 11 weeks pregnant. I was supposed have an ultrasound and hear my baby’s heartbeat for the very first time. Instead I heard the words “I’m so sorry, we can’t find a heartbeat.” Instead of feeling joyous, I left feeling empty and broken.

My life changed that day. I became an angel mommy. I had to learn how to let go of a child that I fell in love with but didn’t get to meet. I learned who my true friends and family were. I learned how incredibly common pregnancy loss is, even though no one talks about it. I learned that there are good people in the healthcare system who go above and beyond for their patients. I also learned how the healthcare system let’s so many women like me down. I learned how to grieve, how to live, and how to be happy again. It wasn’t easy, and trust me… I’m still working on it.

Grief is a burden that we all have to deal with in this life. There is no telling how or when you’ll go through it. But we grieve because we love. It hurts because we don’t want to say goodbye. It’s confusing because we don’t know how to handle it until it happens. But more often than not grief brings people together. Whether it’s losing a parent, losing a sibling, losing a friend, losing a child, losing a neighbor, a coworker or even someone well known… it hurts, and it unifies us.

So today I am not okay. I am giving myself permission to grieve my baby. I’m not going to feel guilty for not being my best today. I’m going breathe, rest and remember what I had before I had to say goodbye, and that’s okay.

I love you Mackenzie! Daddy and I miss you so much. 💕

New Possibilities

Life After Miscarriage, Miscarriage

No, this is not a pregnancy announcement or a trying to conceive announcement. This isn’t an announcement at all, but rather a vision for new opportunities. I love having friends and family who know me. I love having these people in my life who take the time to listen and care for my needs and desires as a person and as a woman.

Recently, one of my best friends gave me a gift. At first when I received the gift, I didn’t know how to feel or what to think. My friend Reaghan gave me a planner, but not just any planner. She gave me a Mommy To Be planner. This planner is specifically for expectant moms who want to organize and prepare for their baby’s arrival.

Now, I didn’t ask for this gift, and frankly I was a little shocked to have received it. After my first miscarriage, I knew I would eventually want to try and have another baby. But after experiencing a second miscarriage, I’m not really sure how I feel. I’ve had two pregnancies that ended with surgery, and trauma. I don’t know if I can bare another loss. I don’t know if my heart can take it. It scares me.

However, even though I’m not sure if I could handle another pregnancy, I am sure of something. I want to be mom. I believe I will be a mom somehow and in someway. Whether it’s through foster care, adoption, pregnancy, surrogacy, or ministry… I believe it’s what God has called me to do.

I think that’s why Reaghan gave me this gift. Not because she thinks I’m trying to get pregnant, and not because she didn’t know what to get me, but because she knows me. She knows I want to be a mom and she knew just what to give me in this time in my life, when I simply don’t know what the next step is. She is a true friend. ❤️

My Challenge Working in a Nursery

Life After Miscarriage

You’d think that it would be unbearable to work in a nursery after losing two babies… but that’s actually not the case.

I work in a nursery approximately three Sundays a month. During this time we play with kids, have entertaining conversations and even create some beautiful works of art through arts and crafts. It’s fun. When I’m with kids, I rarely am sad about my kids. It’s interesting. Instead of being sad about loss, I just feel joy. I feel joy when I’m around kids, and I always have. Even when I visit friends with kids, I feel so blessed to be able to watch them parent, and watch these children grow into beautiful people.

So, my challenge of working in a nursery…. isn’t what you think. It’s not challenging because I am working with kids. It’s challenging because I feel joy, and I don’t know if that’s okay. Is okay that I’m not sad about my babies every second of every day? Is it okay I find moments to laugh, moments to be happy, and moments to live? Is it okay? I believe it is. I know, my babies would want me to be happy. I will ALWAYS miss them. I will ALWAYS love them, but I also know it’s okay to have a little joy.

Let’s Change the Way We Treat Women Who Have Suffered a Miscarriage.

Life After Miscarriage, Miscarriage

This past semester, I took a public speaking class. I had quite a bit of apprehension before taking this class as I really don’t like speaking in public. In fact, I have registered for this class a handful of times before, but have always dropped it before the beginning of the semester. What can I say… I really didn’t want to take this class. However, since I am close to the end of my college career, I figured I better get it done, since it is a required course.

In this class, I had the opportunity to give a persuasive speech on a topic I am very passionate about. I took about a week to contemplate and brainstorm on my topic, until I was ready to present the speech topic to my professor. The topic I decided was miscarriage, but not just miscarriage. I wanted to give a persuasive speech and argue that their be a change in the way women are treated after suffering a miscarriage, in society and in the healthcare system.

I organized my speech into 3 main points:

1. Language, and what to say and not to say to a woman after suffering a miscarriage.

2. Policy changes that I would like to implement in the healthcare system.

3. Advocacy for women of loss.

The day of my speech I was very anxious. I was scared I would break down while speaking because this topic was too close to home. I was afraid I would trip over my words, forget something or go over my time limit. Ultimately, I was scared I wouldn’t be able to do it. Regardless, when it was my turn to get up and present my speech, I took a deep breath, prayed that God would help me through, and began.


“When a child loses his parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses his or her partner, they are called a widow or widower. When parents lose their child… there isn’t a word to describe them.” – President Ronald Regan


The above quote by Ronald Reagan was my attention getter for my speech. I went on to argue my main points and why I feel there needs to be a change. I ended my speech by saying: It is likely you will know someone in your life who has suffered a miscarriage, and coming from someone who has suffered two miscarriages, my hope is that you take something from this speech and change the way we look at miscarriage.

At the end of my speech, my classmates applauded and asked me various questions about miscarriages, pregnancy and resources. When class was over and I was walking out, a girl in my class came up to me. She told me she loved my speech, and really appreciated the things I had to say about miscarriage and some good things to tell women who have suffered a loss. She even disclosed to me that she too had suffered a miscarriage, and it was the worst most terrifying experience of her life. As she confided in me, in the middle of the hallway, I so badly wanted to give her a hug, as I too knew her pain. But when I looked in her face, I could tell she was fighting back tears, and it took a lot for her to come and talk to me. So, instead I said “thank you for sharing that with me.” She smiled while still holding back tears and went the other direction.

In that moment, I knew I was meant to give that speech, and I again understood that I am meant to share my story and advocate for miscarriage/pregnancy loss. Even though it’s hard, and even though I didn’t really think this was my purpose, I now know I have to do it. Even if as an advocate, author or speaker I only impact one person… I know I will have made a difference.

Father’s Grieve Too

Life After Miscarriage

Why is it that when a couple loses a baby, society is more concerned of how the mother is doing more than the father? Why is it our society perceives a mother’s grief to be more substantial than a father’s? Why is it implied that father’s don’t grieve too? I believe it all boils down to stereotypes and the old thinking of men have to be strong and hold in their emotions. While women are delicate and emotional. Well, I have news for you. Sure these stereotypes do have some truth, but it’s not right to assume all men and women fall into these cookie cutter images. The reality is men can be strong but so can women. Women can be emotional and so can men. Women aren’t the only ones who grieve for the loss of a loved one.


Mother’s certainly grieve for their babies who are gone too soon… but father’s grieve too.


After I experienced my first loss, I didn’t realize how my husband grieves. I didn’t doubt that he too was hurting and grieving over the loss of our baby, but I didn’t understand how he grieved. For the most part, Charles grieved in silence. I liked talking about our baby after both our first and second loss. Charles however, didn’t like to talk about it. Charles was more than willing to listen to my thoughts, but wasn’t too willing to share his own. This often turned into a lot of spats because I didn’t understand his grief and he didn’t understand mine. Eventually, we were able to come to a understanding.

With time, Charles would open up about his grief and sorrow he was feeling. For instance, when we would go to a store and see cute children’s clothing on the racks, he would make comments about how he wishes we could have kids who could wear cute outfits like that. Or when we would see children at a playground or park, he would mention how seeing those kids makes him sad and miss our kids sometimes.

After awhile, I had come to realize why Charles grieves the way he does. Since our losses were so hard on me emotionally and physically, he didn’t feel right falling apart while I was already a mess. He felt he needed to be the strong one, and help me through. Then, once I was feeling more stable, he was more willing to open up about his emotions and grief.


If you too have a boyfriend, partner or husband that doesn’t outwardly show his grief… you are not alone.


It can be challenging as we all grief differently. My advice to you would be communicate with one another and allow each other to grieve in your own time. My mistake, and often the reason for many of our spats was that I would push my husband to grieve… and that wasn’t right. With time, patience and communication…. grief starts to become more manageable… and something to experience together rather than apart.

When the Grief Hits You All at Once…

Life After Miscarriage

The day I lost Mackenzie, I immediately felt grief, heartache and denial. The day I lost Chase, I only felt sadness and denial. Having a natural miscarriage was a lot different than having a D & C. With a D & C you don’t see anything. You are sleeping and not traumatized by what you see. Where as with a natural miscarriage, I saw everything, and I continue to see it in my sleep through nightmares.

At some point shortly after my second loss, I started to have nightmares. I had nightmares I was bleeding heavily and couldn’t stop, then I would wake up. I continue to have these nightmares, that keep reminding me of my natural miscarriage. I also had flashbacks. I had flashbacks of the hospital, flashbacks of ultrasounds, and the night I was experiencing labor pains. These symptoms sounded to me a lot like PTSD, but I’m not a doctor. I ended up asking a counselor at some point and she said based on my symptoms and what I have gone through, it is likely I have PTSD.


I really don’t cry about the babies I’ve lost, not anymore.


I don’t feel like people understand why I cry. I’ve also expressed to Charles that I don’t want to talk about future children. I can’t even fathom that right now. I am more that willing to talk about our angel babies, but not future kids.

When did the grief really hit me? Well, it hits me when bad stuff happens. This year has been awful. If I were to name off all the crap that has happen, I’m sure you guys would agree. But when life gets really tough and I start to cry, I think I end up crying more for my babies than what I’m actually upset about. Because like I said before, I really don’t want to cry… but I need to.

Follow Up with the Midwife

Life After Miscarriage

On Wednesday October 2nd, I was scheduled to have my 8 week ultrasound. However, since I suffered a miscarriage over the weekend, I had a follow up with a midwife instead. Before going into the appointment, I had some nerves. Unlike last time, I didn’t want to talk about my loss. I didn’t have questions, and I just didn’t want to think about it. I also wasn’t in the best of moods. I had an awful headache, and I couldn’t tell if it was related to grief or dehydration, and I was still bleeding, which was like having my period. I just didn’t feel good.

Before heading to the appointment, I contacted the Community Health Worker. I told her what had happen over the weekend and asked if she could sit with me during the appointment since my husband wasn’t able to come. She was more than willing to help me, and I met her at the front desk of the OB office. The Community Health Worker escorted me out to the hallway with a pager in hand. She told me we could sit in the hallway instead of in the waiting room, and the nurse would page us when they were ready. I felt some relief knowing we didn’t have to sit in the waiting room. The Community Health Worker also shared with me that she spoke with my midwife and expressed that she needed to be gentle with me as I am grieving and have suffered a second loss.


Even though I was anxious for this appointment, I felt so much better knowing there was someone in healthcare on my side and willing to advocate for me.


During the appointment I was given a pelvic exam and asked questions about my natural miscarriage and symptoms I was experiencing. The midwife took a look at my latest labs and confirmed that I became anemic, which is why I was suffering a headache. She then advised me to take iron tablets for the next month. My pelvic exam was uncomfortable but normal. My cervix was closed and my HCG levels were dropping at a normal rate. At the end I was provided resources on pregnancy loss, and thanked the Community Health Worker for all of her help. Charles met up with me at the end, and we headed home. After suffering a miscarriage, it’s never easy to go back to the OB office, but I must say…. it makes a difference when you have people on your side willing to advocate for your mental and physical heath.

My Worst Fear… Again

Miscarriage, Pregnancy

The following post is my story of how I experienced my second miscarriage. In this post I show vulnerability in retelling my second loss. I also share details in my miscarriage, so I do want to offer a TRIGGER WARNING before anyone begins reading my post. Please feel free to stop reading, and take care of you if my words, and my story are challenging to read.

At 12am on Sunday September 29th, I was startled awake. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong. I had just gotten home from the ER a few hours prior. I was advised by my doctors and nurses to get some rest. I had only been asleep for a few hours when I woke up at midnight. I was confused. My heart was racing. I was sweating and I felt really uncomfortable. It’s just anxiety. Calm down. Relax. Baby is okay. I tried talking myself down from my minor panic attack.


I nudged Charles awake. He held my hand and we both fell back asleep.


I woke up again around 2:15am. I woke up sweaty and gross and had to go to the bathroom. I was scared to see I was still spotting and it was getting worse. I was now seeing bright red blood instead of light pink. In wasn’t a lot of blood, but it was getting darker. I prayed, prayed, prayed then fell back asleep.

I woke up at 4am in pain. Cramps radiated from my groin throughout my back. I couldn’t get comfortable. I held my belly, then curled up in a ball. It wasn’t taking the pain away. I got out of bed and tried stretching my legs and my back. I was so confused. What was going on? Why was I in so much pain? After a few minutes of stretching the pain died down. I laid back down. Fifteen minutes later it happen again. Sheering pain was radiating through my core. I tried stretching, pacing and slowly breathing, at that moment it dawned on me. Oh my gosh… I know what this is. Cramps that are painful that radiate throughout my back. Uncomfortable positions. Pain every few minutes. This pain wasn’t just cramps, these were labor pains. I was in labor and I was going to lose this baby.

When this realization hit me, I wanted to throw up. Part of it was the pain, and part of it was my mind and emotions trying to catch up with what my body already knew. I had cramps every fifteen minutes, then every ten minutes, then every five. I paced through my apartment, tried laying in bed and tried sitting on the toilet. Nothing helped with the pain. Around 5:15am, I found myself laying on my bathroom floor sobbing.


I felt scared and alone. I considered waking up Charles, but I didn’t. I didn’t want him to be scared.


At 5:36am I cried out to God. I pleaded with God to help me. I knew my baby was already gone, and my body had a job to do. I knew this was completely out of my control. I knew the end was coming, but I couldn’t bare to think about it. I asked God that if this was it, if I was truly going to lose my baby, then could He just please make it quick. Ten minutes later at 5:46am, I felt my baby leave my body. I felt blood pour out of me and I felt my heart shatter yet again as I said I’m so sorry to my baby, and left the bathroom.

I went into my room and woke up Charles. I sobbed and told him what happen. He was confused and saddened. He held me and we cried together. That was it, it was done. My second pregnancy and my Rainbow Baby Chase were gone.


The next morning we woke up and tried to wrap our minds around what had happen. I took it easy that day, since my body was truly drained. I reached out to family and friends and let them know what had happen. They sent their love and condolences. I couldn’t believe it. We lost another baby. Why? That afternoon, Alli and Andrea sent us some flowers that read: In Loving Memory of Baby Chase. Reading this made me cry, and after that I didn’t cry for awhile. I didn’t feel like I should.

A Scare at 7 Weeks and 3 Days

Miscarriage, Pregnancy

Saturday September 28th, was supposed to be a very relaxing day. I didn’t have any plans that day except for studying and relaxing at home. I spent the morning in my pjs, drinking decaf coffee and catching up on some reading. Charles headed to our university’s football game and hung out with friends. I felt completely fine, except some cramping around my pelvis and cervix. However, I was convinced that this cramping was completely normal in early pregnancy.

Around 1:30pm I made myself some cheesy potatoes for lunch. I then went to the bathroom for probably the tenth time that day. When I went to the bathroom, I felt completely normal and pregnant. When I went to wipe though, I froze. Blood. There was blood. I was bleeding. I was spotting. Oh no! I instantly started to panic. It wasn’t a lot of blood, and if I were to describe it…. it was like the color of pink lemonade. Regardless, it was enough blood to scare me.


Why was I bleeding? This can’t be happening! Not again! I can’t handle this! I can’t handle another loss! I frantically started praying. God please, please keep baby Chase safe! I don’t want to lose him!


I immediately called Charles. Once I started crying, I couldn’t stop. I told Charles what was going on and he immediately headed home. While I waited for Charles I called my friend Andrea. She prayed over Chase and I. I also called the midwife on call. I explained to her how I was feeling, and what I was seeing. The midwife explained that unfortunately it did sound like another miscarriage, but I could always go the hospital to get checked out if I wanted to. When Charles got home he hugged me, and reassured me things were going to be okay. Then we headed to the hospital.

Going to the ER on a Saturday afternoon, I knew there would be a wait. However, I didn’t anticipate a full hour wait. When we were finally called back, I was able to relax and rest in bed. My cramps were still mild and the bleeding hadn’t gotten any worse. I was thankful for that. I explained to every nurse and doctor I saw my symptoms and medical history. I had a variety of tests done including CBC blood work, urine test, pelvic exam and three ultrasounds.

One nurse that particularly stood out to me was Doug. He was the best male nurse I have ever had. He went above and beyond to take care of me, my baby and my husband. He was funny and very willing to answer my questions. He also disclosed to us that his wife has had three miscarriages, and currently has two sons at home, and an infant in the NICU of the hospital. One thing Doug said that truly stood out to me, was this: At this point we don’t know if you are going to have a miscarriage or have a healthy pregnancy. But just try to take care of yourself and rest. Know that you have done nothing wrong. Sometimes it’s just not meant to be at this time….


Don’t be scared, because your body knows what to do, and it is going to do what needs to be done. So, take care of yourself and be there for one another because this affects both of you.


Based on all my tests, everything was completely normal. My blood work showed that my HCG was in the 2000s which was higher than I ever had with my first pregnancy. My hemoglobin, and thyroid levels also looked great. My urine was fine and no UTI. My pelvic exam was normal besides some uterine bleeding. Lastly, my ultrasounds all came back fine. The reason I had three ultrasounds is because the doctors had a hard time finding the fetus. The ER doctor first used an ultrasound machine beside, which apparently has a difficult time picking up a fetus smaller than 12 weeks. I was then sent to an ultrasound room where I had another test done over my belly. The tech also had a hard time finding the fetus, so I had to have an inner-vaginal ultrasound. During this test, the tech and Charles were able to see the baby. Baby was only measuring at 5 weeks and 2 days… which was strange since I was supposed to be two weeks further in my pregnancy. However, the doctors said it was a possibility I had ovulated late. Besides that, baby was still attached to the uterus and everything seemed normal.

That night around 6:30pm we were sent home. I called and texted family and friends to let them know what was going on. When we got home, I forced myself to rest and take it easy. Shortly after arriving home, I had to go to the bathroom again. Though I was hoping the bleeding had stopped, I was still anxious by what I saw. I was still bleeding and it was getting brighter and thicker. Even though I was cleared to go home, I still feared I was going to lose this baby. Charles took the evening to hold me, and reassure me that it was going to be okay. That night when I went to sleep I had peace and faith I was going to wake up in the morning, with no bleeding and feeling so much better. I was convinced my baby and I would be fine, until I woke up at 12am the next morning……

Pregnant Again!?!?

Pregnancy

When I found out I was pregnant again….. I was filled with a lot of emotions. The last time I was pregnant, I was excited, scared, confused and feared the unknown. This time I was excited and scared because I feared of the past. I prayed for this baby and had peace for whenever God decided to bless us again. When we were blessed with another baby I prayed over Baby Chase everyday. As my pregnancy progressed, I had a lot of faith, which was really surprising. For some reason, I knew everything was going to be okay. I had peace that this baby was happy, healthy and safe. I hesitated on planning for a future and getting too excited, but I talked to Chase. Charles talked to Chase. We showed him love and were thankful for every single day we had with him.

We again were embarking on a second adventure of pregnancy. Before I got off birth control, I did some deep self reflecting and asked myself Could I handle another loss if it were to happen? I didn’t want to think of having another loss, but at the same time it’s something I needed to consider. I came to the conclusion that yes. Though it would be excruciating, I could do it because of my faith, how much I have worked on myself in the past year and my strong marriage,


I knew Charles and I could survive another loss if it were to happen.


National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day (October 15th)

Life After Miscarriage

Today is the day we remember. We remember the babies gone too soon. Whether you are a mother, father, sibling or grandparent of an angel, this is a day set aside for you. Coming from someone who has endured a painful loss, I can tell you first hand that this day of remembrance is not the only day I remember my baby. I remember my baby everyday.

Today October 15th, is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Our past president Ronald Reaghan proclaimed this day many years ago. In honor of this day and the many babies that are gone too soon, people often light a candle in honor of their baby.

If you or someone you know has lost a little life, I strongly encourage you to light a candle in honor of the baby gone too soon. I also want to say whether your loss was a week ago, a year ago or 30 years ago… I am sorry for your loss and I am sending you love today.


{ADVERTISEMENT) KER Creations studio is a cute baby boutique inspired by my Angel Mackenzie. In my studio I sell baby hats, baby bows, baby Christmas ornaments, Mommy and Me hats and MORE!


Book Review: There Was Supposed to Be a Baby, A Guide to Healing After Pregnancy Loss

Resources, Self Care

Book: There Was Supposed to Be a Baby: A Guide to Healing After Pregnancy Loss

Author: Catherine Noblitt Keating

Publisher: Hummingbird Press; Seattle, Washington

This wonderful book There Was So Supposed to Be a Baby, is an amazing resource full of stories, affirmations, advice, and even yoga techniques designed to help any grieving mother. This book is small and a perfect companion for the beginning of your grieving journey.

The author is very inclusive when discussing beliefs and faith. She states up front that if there is anything in this book that does not line up with your beliefs or values, feel free to skip it.

I loved this book as it allowed me to assess my mental health, give myself permission to grief, and put self care as a priority in my life. I highly recommended this book for any woman suffering a miscarriage and pregnancy loss.

This book is available on Amazon.