BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!… Now Available: Mackenzie Goes to Heaven Children’s Book

It’s finally here! I have officially written, illustrated and published my very first children’s book! To say I’m excited is certainly an understatement! Mackenzie Goes to Heaven is a children’s book, created for families who have gone through a pregnancy loss. It is designed to teach siblings and other children about the concept of miscarriageContinue reading “BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!… Now Available: Mackenzie Goes to Heaven Children’s Book”

When the Going Gets Tough… How I Handle Pregnancy Announcements

Pregnancy announcements… something that is supposed to be happy can hurt so badly. I know I am not alone when I say that pregnancy announcements are hard to handle, especially if you have suffered a loss or you struggle to get pregnant. In many ways you want to be happy for the people who haveContinue reading “When the Going Gets Tough… How I Handle Pregnancy Announcements”

Making Progress on my Books

In the midst of this quarantine and stay at home order, I have been busy at work creating my books. I am in the process of creating 3 different books. The first I started writing is my memoir. This book is the most detailed and is taking me the most time to complete. I amContinue reading “Making Progress on my Books”

It’s Okay To Not Be Okay

It’s okay to not be okay… and today I am not okay. A year ago today I was happy. I went to a doctor appointment that I thought would leave me joyous and thankful. Instead it left me with every emotion imaginable, and this is when my grief first began. I was 11 weeks pregnant.Continue reading “It’s Okay To Not Be Okay”

New Possibilities

No, this is not a pregnancy announcement or a trying to conceive announcement. This isn’t an announcement at all, but rather a vision for new opportunities. I love having friends and family who know me. I love having these people in my life who take the time to listen and care for my needs andContinue reading “New Possibilities”

My Challenge Working in a Nursery

You’d think that it would be unbearable to work in a nursery after losing two babies… but that’s actually not the case. I work in a nursery approximately three Sundays a month. During this time we play with kids, have entertaining conversations and even create some beautiful works of art through arts and crafts. It’sContinue reading “My Challenge Working in a Nursery”

Counseling & Sea Glass

As many of you know, I spent a handful of hours in counseling last year after my first miscarriage. Through counseling I was able to develop coping skills such as self talk, reflection, and anxiety management. I was in counseling approximately once a week from March to July. At the end of June I essentiallyContinue reading “Counseling & Sea Glass”

A Recap of 2019

What can I say about 2019? This year has been life changing, hard, emotional, shocking, grief stricken, crazy, a whirlwind, encouraging and just down right challenging. Regardless, of the fact that the bad often out weighed the good, I’m thankful. Another year is in the books. I would like to take a moment and takeContinue reading “A Recap of 2019”

I’m Not Sure How to Survive the Holidays with Grief in my Heart

To be honest, I’m not feeling very festive this Christmas. This past year has been a tidal wave of grief that I didn’t plan for, nor did I appreciate. On top of grief I’ve had other struggles including anxiety, depression, weight gain, self doubt and distress. Some might say this past year has made meContinue reading “I’m Not Sure How to Survive the Holidays with Grief in my Heart”

Let’s Change the Way We Treat Women Who Have Suffered a Miscarriage.

This past semester, I took a public speaking class. I had quite a bit of apprehension before taking this class as I really don’t like speaking in public. In fact, I have registered for this class a handful of times before, but have always dropped it before the beginning of the semester. What can IContinue reading “Let’s Change the Way We Treat Women Who Have Suffered a Miscarriage.”

Father’s Grieve Too

Why is it that when a couple loses a baby, society is more concerned of how the mother is doing more than the father? Why is it our society perceives a mother’s grief to be more substantial than a father’s? Why is it implied that father’s don’t grieve too? I believe it all boils downContinue reading “Father’s Grieve Too”

When the Grief Hits You All at Once…

The day I lost Mackenzie, I immediately felt grief, heartache and denial. The day I lost Chase, I only felt sadness and denial. Having a natural miscarriage was a lot different than having a D & C. With a D & C you don’t see anything. You are sleeping and not traumatized by what youContinue reading “When the Grief Hits You All at Once…”

Follow Up with the Midwife

On Wednesday October 2nd, I was scheduled to have my 8 week ultrasound. However, since I suffered a miscarriage over the weekend, I had a follow up with a midwife instead. Before going into the appointment, I had some nerves. Unlike last time, I didn’t want to talk about my loss. I didn’t have questions,Continue reading “Follow Up with the Midwife”

7 Weeks Pregnant

At 7 weeks pregnant… I started to feel better. My nausea started to subside, and food was starting to appeal to me again. I think that since I had already experienced a loss, this symptom made me really nervous and anxious. I feared that I was losing my pregnancy symptoms and I was going toContinue reading “7 Weeks Pregnant”

Unwanted Reminders

In the beginning of September, I was in a funk. Part of me was depressed and anxious as my “what would have been due date” was approaching…. While other parts of me, was excited for a new beginning. I was excited to start school again. I was excited to continue getting healthier and start ourContinue reading “Unwanted Reminders”