Did I Technically have an Abortion?

With the news of Roe v. Wade being overturned by the Supreme Court on Friday, Facebook, Instagram and the mainstream media have been filled with both pro choice and pro life opinions on the matter. I have found myself reading and scrolling through social media as we all see the drama that unfolds across the country.

Now, I’m not usually one to write and or speak on political matters, but today I’m going to. I’m going to because this issue really shouldn’t be political but has certainly become political. In many ways I fear that I will lose friends on this matter, but in other ways I don’t care. We live in a free country and if they have the right to speak their mind then so do I.

I am a born again Christian. I am pro life. I believe life begins at conception. I do not like abortion. I understand that it is done and for many women they either choose that option and or feel that is their only option. I do not hate women who feel this way. I just know it’s something I could never do. At least that’s what I thought before this past Friday’s ruling….

On Friday, I started reading about women who use the pill to have an early abortion. They went on to say how this option will be illegal in some states and will no longer be available. This discussion reminded me of my first miscarriage. I had a missed miscarriage meaning my baby’s heart stopped beating at 8 weeks and 5 days but I didn’t find out until my 11 week ultrasound. My sweet baby, laid lifeless inside me for 2 weeks and 2 days until we found out at my ultrasound.

After my ultrasound I was sent to another room to discuss my options. They said I could take a pill to help my uterus contract and pass the baby, I could have a D & C procedure, or I could just allow my body to pass the baby on its own. At the time I remembered struggling on deciding what to do. Ultimately, I decided on a D & C.

It occurred to me on Friday that I technically had an abortion. I had an abortion procedure not to kill my baby and not to terminate my pregnancy but to clean out my uterus for my own health, so I didn’t become septic.

With the most recent ruling, I can’t help but wonder Did I do the right thing getting a D & C? Should I have not done anything? Should I have let my body pass my baby naturally? Did what I decided go against my ethics and morals?

These thoughts troubled me for a while. I know I didn’t kill my baby, but I did allow medical intervention for my own health. I also started to wonder how this new ruling will affect other women of pregnancy loss. Will they now no longer have the option for a D & C or a pill after losing their pregnancy? Are more women going to die from pregnancy complications and pregnancy loss?

I’m not sure. I don’t think there is a clear cut, black and white answer.

Do I think I had an abortion? Technically yes. According to the medical definition… yes. But if Jesus were to take me today, and I were to go before God, I don’t think I did anything spiritually wrong for putting my health first and choosing to have a D & C instead of naturally miscarrying.

This Roe v. Wade overturn is complicated and I don’t completely know what this means for our country. I’m scared and interested to see what happens next.

A Look Back at What I Wrote a Year Ago

One year ago, I wrote out a list. This list was how I hoped to see myself a year later. I thought it would be fun to take a look back at how my life was, how it is now, and if things turned out the way I was hoping.


Recently, I was doing some journaling and I thought, why not make a plan of how I hope things are for us this time next year… so I did. 

On this Day Monday April 26th, 2021, what our life looks like now:

Married to Charlie for 4 years

Live in a 1 bedroom apartment 

Own 2 cars 

Been at my job for 1 year 

Have had 2 miscarriages 

Spent a year of trying to conceive so far.

Have a 13 month old kitten named Rocky

Written 1 children’s book 

Published 1 children’s book 

Written memoir 

Not vaccinated with Covid vaccine yet.


How I hope to see our life a year from now…

Married for 5 years Yes!

In process of moving to a 2 bedroom apartment No, we are staying where we are.

Own one car Yes!

Been at my job for 2 years No, only 1 year and 9 months.

Have had 2 miscarriages Yes

Spent 16 months trying to conceive then finally got pregnant. No. We only spent a year of trying.

7 months pregnant No. My baby is almost 4 months old!

Have Rocky and another 10 month old kitten. No. We only have Rocky right now. 1 baby and 1 kitty is enough.

Published 2 children’s books No. Not yet.

Published memoir No. Almost!

Fully vaccinated Yes!

Starting the beginning steps of becoming a foster parent. No. Not at this time.


My life isn’t exactly how I thought it would be a year later, and that’s okay. In fact, I believe it’s better than I ever expected. ❤️

My 2022 Goals Check In

1. GIVE BIRTH TO OUR BEAUTIFUL RAINBOW BABY! ✅
2. START A SMALL BUSINESS ON THE SIDE (In the planning process)
3. FINISH READING THE ENTIRE BIBLE (In process)
4. MOVE TO A BIGGER PLACE TO FIT OUR FAMILY OF 4! (On hold for now)
5. PUBLISH 1 OF MY BOOKS (In the editing process)
6. PAY OFF HALF OF MY CAR (In process)
7. KNIT CHARLES A SWEATER (In process)
8. CREATE A WILL (Haven’t started)
9. MAKE MONEY BLOGGING AND TURN MY BLOG INTO A JOB FROM HOME (Haven’t started)
10. WRITE 500 BLOG POSTS (In process, 344 written so far!)

1 goal met, several in process and 9 months or so left in 2022. Let’s keep on a keeping on!

A Recap of 2021

2021 was overall a good year. There were some changes, some things that remained the same, some let downs, some celebrations and a lot of growth. The biggest thing that happen was God blessing us with the opportunity to start a family, and we are over the moon thankful. ❤️

A Recap for 2021

January
  • Published Mackenzie Goes to Heaven Coloring Book
February
  • My Hubby turned 25!
March
  • My Kitty Rocky turned 1!
  • Changed shifts and became an opener at my job.
  • I celebrated 1 year at my job as a lead preschool teacher.
April
  • Started writing my second children’s book.
  • Paid off my car.
  • Bought a new car.
  • Got Pregnant with our Rainbow Baby. 🌈
May
  • Started Growing Avocado Trees
  • Celebrated Teacher Appreciation Week with my fellow teachers!
  • Celebrated my first Mother’s Day pregnant.
  • We had our dating ultrasound and got to see Baby Bear for the first time.
  • Told my family and close friends I was expecting.
June
  • Made our Big Announcement that our Rainbow Baby was on the way!
  • Made it to the 2nd trimester in my pregnancy!
  • We had sequential screening done and got to see Baby Bear again!
  • Started craving lemons and pickles. Had a feeling we were expecting a Boy.
July
  • Started feeling Baby flutters
  • Won the Dustpan Award for the cleanest classroom at work.
  • Celebrated Rocky’s 1 year adoption!
August
  • Heard Baby Bear’s heartbeat using a Doppler for the first time.
  • Had our anatomy scan and gender reveal. We were excited to find out we were having a Baby Boy!!! 💙
  • I turned 26!
September
  • Went on a Fall themed Girl’s Getaway with my friends Alli and Andrea.
  • Told myself it was okay to start buying baby items.
October
  • Held a virtual Baby Book Party!
  • Honored my babies on Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day
  • Started Decorating the Nursery.
  • Made it to the third trimester!
November
  • Tested Positive for Covid, and had to be quarantined for two weeks
  • Got diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes and was bumped up to a high risk pregnancy.
  • Celebrated 5 years of marriage with my husband.
December
  • Packed our bags for the hospital and prepared for Baby Boy’s arrival.
  • Had our last ultrasound and discovered that Baby Boy has long thick hair.
  • Got diagnosed with thyroid problems associated with pregnancy.
  • Took a few maternity photos.
  • Went on maternity leave.
A Recap of My 2021 Goals
  • Publish My Memoir ❌
  • Pay off my Car ✔️
  • Receive my FLE Certification ❌
  • Lose 20 lbs. ❌
  • Buy a New Car ✔️
  • Publish a Second Children’s Book ❌
  • Read the entire Bible ❌
  • Start a Family ✔️
  • Pay Off My Credit Card ❌
  • Publish a Self Care Journal ❌

Grief & Mercy 6th Blog Post Round Up

It’s round up time again! I am sharing my most liked, commented and viewed posts since my last round up. Check it out!

Sequential Screening During the 12th Week of Pregnancy

In this post I discuss not only the anxiety that comes with going through a pregnancy after loss, but also our experience with different genetic testing.

First Few Little Kicks

Feeling baby kicks for the first time was amazing and nothing like I had ever experienced. ❤️

18 Weeks Pregnant! (Third Pregnancy/ Second Trimester)

This post is about my pregnancy update at 18 weeks.

Gender Reveal! 20 Week Anatomy Scan

Hitting half way in my pregnancy was a huge milestone. Going to our anatomy scan and being able to see baby and all his features was so exciting. My favorite part was finding out what we were having. 🥰

27 Weeks Pregnant! (Third Pregnancy/ Second Trimester)

This post is about my 27 week update of my pregnancy.

Decorating the Nursery/ Organizing Baby’s Things

In a one bedroom apartment, you are very limited on space. However, I love how our bedroom/baby’s nursery turned out 🥰

10 Things I Will Miss About Being Pregnant

For the most part I had a pretty easy pregnancy until I hit the third trimester. In the third trimester I dealt with GD, thyroid problems and covid. In this post, I talk about the things I will soon miss about being pregnant.

Feeling a Little Extra Thankful

Being pregnant on Thanksgiving was a lot of fun. Charles and I cherished our little family of two + a fur baby, before our rainbow baby arrives. We also spent the morning cooking together.

37 Weeks Pregnant! (Third Pregnancy/ Third Trimester)

In this post I give a 37 week pregnancy update, and talk about ways I am preparing for labor.


A Look Ahead…
My Top 10 Favorite Date Night Ideas
DIY Padsicles and Postpartum Care

Top 10 Things I Will Miss About Being Pregnant

At 32 weeks pregnant, I am realizing how quickly my pregnancy is coming to an end and we will soon be able to meet our precious baby boy! This pregnancy hasn’t always been easy but I have been very blessed to have gotten this far, and gone through this much.

Here are my Top 10 Things I Will Miss About Being Pregnant
1. The precious baby kicks, rolls and squirms
2. Clear Skin (For some reason these pregnancy hormones gave me the clearest skin of my life)
3. Not having a period
4. People being so nice to me because I’m pregnant
5. The cravings
6. The strong pregnancy smell
7. Large appetite and eating for two
8. Cute and comfy maternity clothes
9. The excitement and anticipation of planning for a new baby
10. The pregnancy glow

Reblog: My Top 10 Favorite Things About Fall!

FALL IS MY FAVORITE!

Fall is my favorite season. I love everything about fall. Anything from the colorful trees, to the doughnuts… I just love it! Fall is my happy place! Since I love fall so much, I have decided to share my top 10 favorite things about Fall.

MY TOP 10 FAVORITE THINGS ABOUT FALL 

  1. Changing Leaves – I love seeing the leaves change in the fall. Here in Michigan, it can be absolutely breath taking seeing red, orange, yellow and brown being displayed through out our beautiful state.
  2. Doughnuts – I would have to admit that doughnuts indeed are my love language. What’s funny is I am really not a bread person. I don’t like a lot of bread but I love the sweet, and fulfilling goodness of a doughnut… especially in the fall.
  3. Sweater and Hoodie Weather – I love to layer and be comfy in my clothes. I get so excited when it is just cool enough that I can throw on a hoodie, or look stylish and comfy in a sweater, leggings, boots and a beanie.
  4. Fall Scents – I get so excited to smell fall, I know sounds crazy to say. But I do. I love smelling pumpkin, cinnamon, apple, smores, vanilla and everything in between. I am one of those people who looks forward to a pumpkin spice latte every fall at Biggby. I am also one of those people who enjoys the new fall scents at Bath and Body Works.
  5. Football Games – I get so hyped for football games at my college. It just feels like fall when I am sitting in the stands, wearing my hoodie and cheering on my team.
  6. Back to School – Even though it may be stressful for some, back to school just puts me in a good mood. It just feels like a new beginning with new goals and dreams I have yet to accomplish. Plus, I love catching all the good back to school supplies deals.
  7. The Apple Orchard – I have many fond memories of going to the apple orchard as a child and as an adult. As a child I can recall picking apples, eating doughnuts, going on hay rides and milking a goat. As an adult I can still recall picking apples, eating doughnuts and even accompanying preschoolers on field trips to the apple orchard.
  8. Fall Vibes – For some reason I feel like here in Michigan, people are a lot happier in the fall than they are in the spring. It’s almost as if many of us Michiganaders enjoy the cool weather of fall right after a hot summer. Whereas we are slightly grumpy in the spring because we are still somewhat holding a grudge after the brutal winter we had just experienced.
  9. I Met My Husband in the Fall – Someday I will likely share our love story, but for now I will share how we met. My husband and I met on September 4th, in Spanish class at our local community college. I was sitting at a table by myself in the front of the class, and he came to sit by me… and the rest is history.
  10. My Wedding Anniversary – My Husband and I got married on November 12th , 2016. it was beautifully fall themed with doughtnut holes, apple cider, fall leaves, pumpkins… you name it, we had it. Fall is a very special time for us.

Thanks for reading my Top 10 Favorite Things About Fall! What are your favorite things about Fall?

Grief & Mercy: 5th Blog Post Round Up

It’s time for another blog post round up! I am sharing my most recently popular, viewed and liked blog posts. Check it out!

My Goals for 2021

Every year I create a bucket list of things I hope to accomplish in the coming year. So far I have completed at least 2 out of 10 items on my list.

Our Love Story (Part 1)

Within the last few months I have been sharing the love story of my husband and I. So far, I have written Parts 1-5, with Part 6 coming very soon.

Another Negative

This post is one I wrote after about 6 months of trying. I share the discouraging reality of a trying to conceive lifestyle, and how it can be devastating to repeatedly get a negative pregnancy test.

10 Signs You’re a Crazy Cat Parent

Since adopting my kitty Rocky, I didn’t realize how crazy of a cat parent I would become until I reflected back on it in this blog post.

Roasted Chickpeas Recipe

Roasted chickpeas are one of my favorite snacks that are loaded with protein. This is one recipe that I will share again, and again, and again.

Update on my Avocado Trees

Growing avocado trees is something I decided to try this year, and honestly it has been a lot of fun.

When You Least Expect It…

Finding out I was pregnant again after a year of trying was unbelievable. It’s been months since I took the pregnancy test and in someways I’m still in shock.

Pregnant on Mother’s Day

Being pregnant on Mother’s Day was a beautiful blessing. In this post I discuss my emotions and gratitude of this emotional day.

7 Weeks Pregnant! (Third Pregnancy/ First Trimester)

Week 7 of my third pregnancy was very memorable. A lot happened in this week that I couldn’t wait to share with all of you.


A Look Ahead!

8 Weeks Pregnant! (Third Pregnancy/ First Trimester)

Our Big Announcement!

Checking on my Plants

Reblog: 25 Self Care Activities to try this Summer

I am a huge advocate of self care and taking care YOU and your health. The following is my top 25 self care activities that I highly recommend trying this summer.

25 SELF CARE ACTIVITIES

1. TAKE A BUBBLE BATH

2. READ A FAVORITE BOOK

3. GO TO A FAVORITE RESTAURANT OR TRY A NEW RESTAURANT

4. PLAY A BOARD GAME WITH A GROUP OF FRIENDS

5. START A JOURNAL

6. GO TO THE BEACH

7. TRY A NEW RECIPE

8. ORGANIZE SOMETHING IN YOUR HOME

9. GO TO THE MOVIES

10. BINGE WATCH A SHOW ON NETFLIX OR HULU

11. COMPLETE AN EASY DIY PROJECT

12. START A WORKOUT ROUTINE

13. COMMIT TO A DAILY PRAYER OR MEDITATION ROUTINE

14. TRY SOME YOGA

15. GO ON A NATURE WALK

16. GO BROWSE A LOCAL FARMER’S MARKET

17. TAKE A ROAD TRIP

18. GO THRIFT STORE SHOPPING

19. PAY IT FORWARD, BUY SOMEONE ELSE’S MEAL

20. VOLUNTEER AT A LOCAL CHARITY

21. TRY A NEW BEAUTY ROUTINE

22. CREATE AN ART PROJECT

23. GO ON A CAMPING TRIP

24. CREATE A SUMMER PLAYLIST

25. REVAMP YOUR WARDROBE

Thank a Teacher!

This week is one of my favorite weeks of the year. It’s Teacher Appreciation week! Teacher Appreciation week is when children, families and the community take time out to thank teachers.

Since it’s Teacher Appreciation week, I thought I would share the many reasons why I love being a teacher.

1. I get to teach the next generation. Do you know what a privilege it is to teach and inspire those who will one day change the world? It is the best feeling and I am so honored.

2. I get to have 20+ new friends every year. Some times I don’t feel like I’m just a teacher. I’m also a nurse, referee, therapist, coach, substitute mommy, chef and so much more. I get to see these kiddies everyday for 8 hours a day. I love it!

3. Being a teacher helps my baby fever. I want to have my own kids so badly. But for now, I have the privilege to love on and care for the kids in my class as if they were my own.

I could keep writing reasons why I love being a teacher, but it could go on for hours, so I think I’ll stop there. I do want to remind everyone very quickly to thank a teacher this week! Teachers are amazing. We don’t become teachers for the money. We become teachers for the kids. So, thank a teacher!

She Believed She Could…

This past year, and actually since starting my blog I have developed various goals for myself that are a mixture of personal and professional goals. If you’ve been following me for a while, you know that each year I create goals that I hope to accomplish by New Year’s Eve and a Summer Bucket List of goals I hope to accomplish in the summer. If you don’t know what I am talking about, then head over to my blog post….

My Goals for 2021

One goal I am trying so incredibly hard to accomplish is writing and publishing my memoir. My memoir was an idea that first came to light the day after my second miscarriage, in September of 2019. After suffering my first loss, I felt led to start a blog… this blog in fact :). After my second loss, I realized there was more to my story and my grief that needed to be done. I realized that I have a gift of writing and since suffering two losses, though it was devastating… my circumstances had then given me the chance to expand my story and share with others my story, in order to help women like me. My circumstances, my grief and my passion is what drove me to write my book.

I have officially written the first draft of my book and currently working on the second. It’s small, raw, detailed, sad, but powerful… and I’m very proud of it.

I will be keeping you all updated as I continue to make the final touches to my book and begin the self publishing process!

My Goals for 2021 Check In!

Can you believe it is already March!? Where did the time go? Anyway, we are already 2 months into 2021. So here is my first check in for my 2021 goals!

1. Publish my Memoir

The first draft is done, and I am in process of editing!

2. Pay off my Car

Every month I am one step closer to paying it off!

3. Recieve my FLE Certification

I haven’t touched this goal yet. 😇

4. Lose 20lbs.

I wouldn’t say I’ve lost much weight since the new year, but I have cut back the sweets and junk food.

5. Buy a New Car

Charles and I have been researching and trying to figure out what we want.

6. Publish a Second Children’s Book

In process…

7. Read the Entire Bible

I have actually made huge progress with this goal. So far I have read:

Genesis

Exodus

1 Peter

2 Peter

1 John

2 John

3 John

Jude

I am currently reading Leviticus.

8. Publish a Self Care Journal

In process….

9. Pay off my Credit Card

In process…. it’s hard sometimes.

10. Start a Family

This goal isn’t really in my hands. The Lord’s going to do what the Lord is going to do.