Joy – Page 2 – Grief and Mercy

My Rainbow Pregnancy: The Second Trimester

November 28, 2022March 6, 2022 by Kaylee, posted in Baby, Pregnancy

Goodbye First Trimester and Hello Second Trimester! Officially 14 weeks! Baby is the size of a peach! 🍑 I could just scream with joy! I can’t believe it! 💕

This week’s symptoms include round ligament pain, fatigue, cravings, shiny thick hair, shiny skin, increased appetite, sciatica, bloating and a little bump. 🥰

I had a recent appointment at 13 weeks and 6 days. Baby’s heart rate is 155! Our next appointment is not until August 4th, for another check in with the midwife, and our anatomy scan on August 19th!!!

Since it is officially the second trimester, I guess I’ll start doing some planning. In the next few weeks I hope to…

Finish my Registry
Sign up for a Birthing Class
Research what big things I want for baby (Car Seat, Stroller, Crib, Pack and Play, High Chair)
Completely switch my closet over to Maternity clothes
Start cleaning and organizing the apartment.

14 Weeks! Let’s have a great second trimester!!!! 🙏💕👍🏼🥰

Is that a baby bump? Officially 15 weeks pregnant! Baby is the size of a orange!

This weeks symptoms include sciatica, heartburn, fatigue, moodiness, increased appetite, and round ligament pain.

I’m hoping to feel baby kick soon, but at my last ultrasound I was told I have an anterior placenta. So, it might be awhile. In just over a month we find out if we are having a boy or girl!

Charles and I have started discussing names… finally. There’s a few that we both like but nothing is picked out just yet. For now baby’s nicknames are Baby, Bug, and Mochachino.

This week’s craving include lemons and pickles. In fact I’m having dreams about them until I’m actually able to wake up and eat them. Oh and one more exciting thing that happened this week… I can finally drink coffee!

16 Weeks Pregnant! Baby is the size of an avocado. 🥑

This week I am feeling great! My skin, hair and nails have never been better!

I’m still really tired when I get home from work each day, but not to the point where I crash. This week I have also started to experience a lot of baby brain. I mean ALOT. I’ve also noticed a lot of changes up top as well… if you know what I mean.

I thought this week it would be fun to share a little comparison photo. The first is from when I was 11 weeks pregnant, and the second is now at 16 weeks pregnant. Man, what a difference 5 weeks can make.

I am still anxiously waiting to feel baby move. I kind of feel like I’ve felt baby but then I doubt myself and think it’s gas. Hopefully baby’s movements will be more clear soon enough.

Here’s to 16 weeks of pregnancy and entering the 5th month!

Yesterday, something amazing happened. After finishing a kale salad with a homemade lemon dressing, I was sitting on the couch relaxing. I kept feeling some weird nudging sensations, between my belly button and my underwear line.

At first I didn’t think much of these sensations and just assumed it was gas. Maybe 20 minutes later I felt them again. This time I felt them with my hand over my belly. It was an indescribable feeling.

I told Charles I couldn’t tell what it was but I almost wondered if I was feeling the baby kick. I asked Charles to put his hand on my belly and feel. Immediately the nudging sensation happened again. He said “That!? I felt it. It’s a kick!”

It was a really exciting moment. Thank Jesus for this beautiful human growing inside me. ❤️

17 weeks! Baby is the size of a pomegranate!!! And only 3 weeks until our anatomy scan and we find out the gender! 💙 💖

This past week has been very exciting as I have been able to feel little flutters and movements from baby! Others symptoms I have been experiencing include fatigue, cravings, colostrum, some shortness of breath, crazy vivid dreams, and round ligament pain.

This upcoming week I have one appointment and it is just a check in with the midwife.

17 weeks has me enjoying this sweet time of pregnancy!

18 weeks pregnant, and baby is the size of an artichoke! This week has been pretty crazy, so allow me to catch you up.

On Wednesday, I had a check in appointment with my midwife. We discussed my pregnancy symptoms, getting the Covid vaccine, birth classes and local pediatricians. My midwife checked baby’s heartbeat and baby was definitely moving around in there. She said everything sounded perfect and baby’s heartbeat was 150.

One issue that came up during the appointment is I’m not gaining any weight. In fact, I haven’t gained back the weight I lost in the first trimester which is about 6 lbs. My midwife encouraged me to increase my calorie intake by 300 a day and try to start gaining a little weight.

On Thursday morning I went to work like any other morning feeling completely normal. While at work I went to the bathroom and noticed a tiny bit of light brown blood in my underwear and when I wiped. It was faint but enough that I could see it. I prayed and tried to stay calm.

I let someone from the admin team know what was going on and that I needed to call my doctor. I called the after hours nurse service. I explained that I wasn’t feeling any pain or cramps, and that the blood was light brown. The nurse told me that it’s likely just old blood or I could have over did it. She said if I start to experience pain, cramps/contractions; I start leaking fluid; or the bleeding gets worse then I would need to call back and possibly go into labor and delivery triage.

Throughout the day I tried taking it easy. I sat down in my classroom more than I usually do, I drank lots of water and I didn’t lift anything over 10 lbs. Thankfully I didn’t experience anymore bleeding/spotting except that one episode.

Despite the scare this week, I am really enjoying feeling baby’s little flutters and I can’t wait to find out what we are having in 2 WEEKS! 🎉

19 weeks pregnant! Baby is the size of a mango!!! 🥭 I can’t believe I’m almost half way there!!!

This week’s symptoms include increased hunger, fatigue, sore hips, round ligament pain, ranging emotions, and a little bit of spotting.

Between 18 and 19 weeks I received my first dose of the Covid vaccine. Coming to this decision wasn’t easy but I decided to get it for a couple reasons.

1) I know I am high risk because I am pregnant and want to avoid as many complications as I can.

2) When I am giving birth, it will not only be flu season, but Covid will still be present and I want to build up my immune system as best I can, especially when I am in the hospital and the most at risk.

3) I wanted to have a fighting chance. I know getting the vaccine doesn’t mean I won’t ever get Covid, but if I do get Covid, I want to have a fighting chance and still be here for my baby.

At 18 weeks pregnant I had an episode of spotting. At 19 weeks pregnant I had another episode of spotting and some cramping. I called my doctor and they asked me to come in and get checked out.

At the appointment they first checked baby. Baby decided to move around every time the nurse pushed on my belly. As she pressed the Doppler on my belly, she caught the heartbeat for only a minute. Baby’s heart rate was 145. After that, baby decided to be a stinker and hide behind my placenta. 😂

The nurse reassured me that baby was fine, and I likely just have a fragile cervix. This just basically means I am more likely to spot after a pelvic exam, intercourse, heavy lifting, etc. She encouraged me just to take it easy through my pregnancy. And as far as the cramping, it’s likely a combination of my uterus growing and baby pressing on my bladder.

This week I am very excited because when I hit 20 weeks, we will be having our anatomy scan! I can’t wait to find out if Baby Rhames is a Boy or Girl!!!

Whoa! We’re half way there! 🎶 Officially 20 weeks, baby is the size of a banana! 🍌

This week has been super exciting for many reasons. Not only has nesting officially kicked in, but we also had our anatomy scan and found out baby’s gender! I will be revealing that in my next blog post!

This week’s symptoms include heartburn, cravings, increased hunger, fatigue, mood swings, slight back pain, slight feet swelling, insomnia, colostrum and itchiness around my breasts and naval.

Baby is still moving around and having a ball in my tummy! Baby is mostly active in the evenings and at night. 🌙

I feel like in many ways this pregnancy has been super fast and super slow. So far I already have a bouncer, car seat, stroller, and high chair. I’m hoping to order my pack and play this week!

20 weeks down and 20 weeks to go! 💪

On Thursday August 19th, Charles and I had a very special appointment. I was officially 20 weeks pregnant, and we were scheduled for our anatomy scan that afternoon. Before our appointment I asked many of our friends, family and coworkers what they thought baby was. I would say about 80% of people were guessing girl. Charles’ guess was he wasn’t really sure. From the very beginning I have thought that we are having a boy. However, within the last few weeks I was suspecting that we may be having a girl. Either way Charles and I were going to be thrilled with whatever the gender of our baby would be.

Before the anatomy scan, I was a nervous wreck. I tried to stay calm, pray and reassure myself that baby was just fine. We waited in the waiting room for about 20 minutes before getting called back.

Before starting the scan, the tech told us she would be looking at all of baby’s organs. She explained that she was allowed to tell us the gender if we wanted to know, and all the organs that she was taking pictures of. However, she was not allowed to tell us if she found anything normal or abnormal. After she was finished she would write up her report and give it to the doctor. The doctor would then come in, go over the report and do an additional scan.

The tech tried looking at the gender first since Charles and I had both decided we really wanted to know what we were having. However, baby was being slightly stubborn and sitting criss cross so it was very difficult to see baby’s genitalia. The tech decided to come back in a few minutes and see if baby decided to move.

The tech took pictures of the heart, stomach, bladder, kidneys, diaphragm, and brain. She then went back to see if she could determine baby’s gender. Baby was still sitting cross legged. The tech waited a moment, and the baby started to move it’s legs a little. The tech was then able to get a quick pic. She froze the screen and said “Oh wait, do you see what I’m seeing?” I said no because I had no idea what I was looking at. She then drew an arrow, and said “What do you think this is right here?” Charles and I looked at each other and said we weren’t sure. The tech then said “You’re having a boy, congratulations!” Charles and I were over joyed. A baby boy, and we couldn’t believe it.

Throughout the anatomy scan, I was slightly uncomfortable. It was very difficult to lay on my back as it makes me dizzy and have a headache. The tech allowed me to lay on my side to help relieve the back pain. I also had a full bladder that made my back pain worse, and the pushing of the probe very uncomfortable. After the 45 minute scan I was able to go to the bathroom and rest on my side. The tech left and said the doctor would be in shortly.

When the doctor came in, I held my breath. I was afraid of what the tech might have found. The doctor introduced himself and said the tech didn’t find anything abnormal. And the tech is usually right but it doesn’t hurt to have a second opinion. The doctor confirmed that baby is definitely a boy. Baby weighs approximately 12 oz. and in the 62nd percentile. Baby Boy’s heart rate was 143 and looked completely healthy. Charles and I felt so relieved that our baby was doing just fine.

After getting a burger and fries, Charles and I headed home. We called my parents and grandma and told them we are having a bouncing baby boy. We then ate our food, and put together a cute little gender reveal for social media. I shared with others that baby is healthy and that we would be revealing the gender at 7pm.

Before 7, I texted some close friends and family and told them we were having a boy. And at 7pm we made our big announcement and shared that Baby Rhames is a Boy and posted the picture above. People were shocked but very excited for us.

I am so thrilled to be a Boy Mom! Boys are just goofy, and energized and something else. I can’t wait to snuggle my baby bear, and raise him up to be a polite gentlemen. 💙

21 weeks, and only 7 weeks until the third trimester! Crazy how this pregnancy is starting to fly by. This week, baby is the size of a endive. I asked a few people what an endive is, and I guess it’s just like a fancy lettuce.

This week’s symptoms include cravings, increased hunger, fatigue, round ligament pain, overall aches and pain, headaches, colostrum and minor sciatica.

This week I have been able to feel baby boy move more and more. His flutters, and taps at 16 weeks have turned into nudges and kicks this week.

Soon I will be doing a quick baby haul and show you a few things I have bought and received for baby boy! 💙

22 Weeks!!! Baby is the size of a coconut 🥥 and the count down begins with only 18 weeks to go!

This week’s symptoms include heartburn, fatigue, increased hunger and thirst, moodiness, slight back pain, round ligament pain, Braxton Hicks, body aches, vivid dreams, colostrum and cravings.

No prenatal appointments until I hit 23 weeks. Soon my appointments will be increasing to twice a month.

Still in the process of nesting, cleaning and organizing. Part of me feels like I have plenty of time while another part of me feels like baby could come home tomorrow.

Also, we have decided on a name, but I won’t be sharing it for awhile. 🤫

22 weeks, here we go!!!

23 Weeks! Baby is the size of a Grapefruit! Both Mommy and Baby are doing well!

We had a OB check up on Friday and everything is looking good. Baby Boy’s heart rate was 135, and he was just chilling at the appointment since he was up all night kicking mommy. My uterus was measured and since I am 23 weeks, they were wanting the measurements to be between 21 and 25 cm. My uterus was measuring at 22 cm so everything is on track. I’ve also gained 6 lbs since my last appointment 5 weeks ago. So, I now weigh the same amount I did when I got pregnant and have gained back what I lost in the first trimester. Later in the appointment we discussed that I’m fully vaccinated, have been and will likely continue experiencing Braxton Hicks, and what signs to look for if I feel I may be going into labor.

At 23 weeks, this week’s symptoms include hot flashes, shortness of breath, round ligament pain, fatigue, hunger and cravings, baby movements everyday, slight swelling in my feet, and the start of some stretch marks.

Pregnancy is starting to go by very quickly. I’m excited but also feeling a little overwhelmed as I try to get what I can done and ready for baby.

24 Weeks! 💕
168 Days
6 months pregnant with 4 months to go!
Baby is the size of a Cantaloupe.

Everyday, every hour and every moment is a blessing.
I have back pain, fatigue, constant hunger, Braxton Hicks, the constant urge to pee, round ligament pain and other dailly body aches. But you know what else? Everyday I feel little baby kicks and wiggles, I experience joy when I am gifted fun baby supplies, and I fall more and more in love with every ultrasound as I get to see my beautiful Baby Boy. It’s all worth it. All of it. I still have my fears and anxieties of course, but I try not to let that steal my joy. I am so incredibly in love with this baby, and I can’t wait to meet him in January. 💙💙💙💙💙

25 Weeks pregnant, and baby boy is the size of a head of cauliflower. 15 weeks to go and 3 weeks until the third trimester!

This week’s symptoms include heartburn, fatigue, anxiety, gas and bloating, frequent urination, swelling feet, Braxton Hicks, colostrum and some dry skin.

My next appointment isn’t until October 8th, and after that I will start being seen every two weeks. I also still need to have some blood work done, and do my glucose test.

This week has been full of ups and downs, between working long hours, and grieving for a friend who suffered a loss. It’s been hard for me to enjoy my pregnancy when I see my friend going through so much pain and heartache. But it also encourages me to hold my rainbow baby belly a little closer and cherish my angel babies. I try to tell myself to breathe, and to just count my blessings. Don’t take life and every little moment for granted. ❤️

26 weeks pregnant and 14 weeks to go! This week baby is the size of a bushel of Kale!

This week’s symptoms include fatigue, hunger and cravings, heart palpitations, lots of baby kicks, round ligament pain, swelling feet, Braxton Hicks, slight leg cramps, and some intense emotions.

The day after I hit 26 weeks, I went and had some blood work done. I had a normal check of CBC as well as the second trimester glucose test. Unfortunately, I failed my glucose test and will now have to go in for the 3 hour glucose test some time next week. I am also slightly anemic. I’m not entirely sure what all of this means, but I am hoping that my doctor will get in touch with me very soon and offer me some guidance.

On a better note, I have an OB appointment coming up this week as well as a virtual Baby Book Shower! I am slowly but surely getting what I need for Baby Boy! My birth plan is written and ready to go, and I plan to start on my hospital bag this week!

26 weeks, here we go! 💙

27 weeks! Baby is the size of a head of lettuce! This is our last week of the second trimester, and then we are in the final stretch!

This week’s symptoms include Braxton Hicks, leg cramps, swollen feet, back pain, fatigue, hot flashes, strong and unpredictable emotions, round ligament pain, heartburn and baby kicks!

This week we had a little bit of a scare. While working on Monday I started feeling some minor contractions. I felt tightness across my belly, and pain around and under my bump.

I called into work the next day and talked to a nurse at my OB office. She said from what I was describing, it sounded more like the beginning of contractions verses Braxton Hicks. She told me it was a good sign that the pain went away with rest.

Tomorrow I have an appointment with my OB to discuss any restrictions I may need so I don’t start getting contractions too early again. I am also having just a regular check for me and baby.

After my appointment I have to take the 3 hour glucose test, because I failed the 1 hour last week. I’m praying everything is okay and baby and I continue to stay healthy.

On Thursday, October 7th I hit 27 weeks. My very last week of the second trimester. I was already starting to feel really pregnant. I went to work that morning tired and sore from Braxton Hicks and possibly some small contractions earlier in the week. When I walked in the door, my boss notified me that we had some extra people and she said I could go home early that day if I wanted. I decided to listen to my body and take the opportunity to go home. So for the rest of the day I napped and relaxed.

Later that evening I started feeling very uncomfortable. My bump felt tight like Braxton Hicks, but I felt pain under and around my bump, I also felt some pain in my pelvis. I tried to just ignore this sensation and sleep it off. Rest didn’t really help and it was hard for me to get comfortable. After a few hours of this pain coming and going, I decided to call Labor and Delivery to see what they say. After everything I told them, they said I needed to come in and get checked out.

Charles and I headed to Labor and Delivery at 1:30am. I texted Alli and let her know what was going on since she is my second support person for birth. Alli headed to the hospital too. When we got there they took my vitals, asked me questions, I gave them a urine sample and they hooked up the baby heart monitors.

After the initial check in it was a lot of just sit and wait. Baby’s heart rate was anywhere between 139-150. They didn’t see any contractions on the monitor, and no sort of infection was seen from my urine. Around 3 the midwife came in to talk to us. And she said the pain could be a variety of things: Braxton Hicks, baby sitting on a nerve, baby growing, round ligament pain and lightning crotch. But we never fully determined what it was.

The nurses gave me some Tylenol and ice to see if that helped, and after about a half hour I was 100% better. I was released around 3:45-4pm. We headed home to get a little more sleep before my normal OB appointment in a few hours at 7am.

I went to my OB appointment at 7am. I discussed a variety of things including Braxton Hicks, work restrictions, breast pump, anxiety, and my 1 hour glucose test. The midwife measured my uterus and I was measuring at 27 cm. Right on track! Baby’s heart rate was also great between 139-145.

After my appointment I headed to the lab to complete my 3 hour glucose test. By this point in the morning I was starting to feel very sick as I had been awake off and on throughout the night and I had been fasting since 10pm. The test wasn’t terrible but it wasn’t wonderful either. I had to have a blood draw before the test, and every hour throughout. With each blood draw I felt more and more nauseated. It felt like time dragged on, and I was so glad once it was over.

I got done with the test around 11:30 and headed home. I ate some pizza, felt a little better and headed to work at 12:30. Before going in to work I received my glucose test results. To my disappointment, I again failed my glucose test. When I got to work I gave the admin team a note from my doctor stating I couldn’t work over 40 hours a week. I

I worked 12:30-6 and as I dragged my feet at the end of my shift I was done. It had been a very long day. When I got home, and got out of the car I looked up at the sky. In between glimmers of sunshine and rain clouds I spotted a beautiful rainbow. My day did not go as planned, but I was definitely being taken care of. Seeing the rainbow gave me hope. Hope for my current circumstances, hope for the future and hope for the rainbow baby I was carrying. 🌈

Thanksgiving 2022

November 24, 2022 by Kaylee, posted in All Things Fall, Baby

This Thanksgiving has truly taught me to be thankful for what I have. I’m thankful for my family including my son, my husband, my parents, Grandma, aunts, uncles and extended family. I’m thankful for my friends and my friends who are practically family. I’m thankful for our home even if we are sharing it with others right now… God, our car, our faith, church family, income, food, safety and so much more. I’m thankful!

This time last year I was just getting over covid and 34 weeks pregnant.

This year I am beyond blessed to be able to spend Thanksgiving with my little turkey. 🦃 💕

This year was a little more low key as far as our food, but of course I made my stable Bruschetta to chow down on before the big feast.

We did cook a big turkey this year which was super exciting.

Our little boy loved trying stuffing, black olives, turkey, mashed potatoes and asparagus.

It was a great first Thanksgiving for our son and a wonderful reminder to be grateful for what we have especially in times of hardship.

Happy Thanksgiving 🦃🍁 💕

My Rainbow Pregnancy: The First Trimester

November 15, 2022February 28, 2022 by Kaylee, posted in Pregnancy

At the end of April, I was feeling rather emotional and overwhelmed. Mother’s Day was quickly approaching and it was hard for me to not carry the grief and dread I was feeling about that particular holiday. As I thought about Mother’s Day, I thought about last year when Charles and I decided on Mother’s Day that we would try again for our rainbow baby.

Fast forward to the end of April 2021, and I was feeling defeated. We had been trying for about a year and absolutely no results. Negative test after negative tests. Period after period. I was due for my period on April 29th. I was feeling discouraged and tired of hoping. I finally told myself to stop. Stop getting my hopes up and stop getting excited. I tried convincing myself over and over that every little cramp, twinge, mood swing and hot flash was just my period coming.

When my period didn’t come on the 29th I figured, it’s just late this month. I have had cycles of up to 34 days. I continued trying to keep myself grounded and tell myself my period was coming.

The morning of April 30th, I had a really strange dream. I dreamt I lost my sense of taste and smell but no other symptoms. In my dream I was walking around a room to different foods and flowers while trying to smell them. I instantly woke up sweaty, agitated and gross. My alarm went off for work, and as much as I didn’t want to get up, I knew it was time to start the day… and at least it was a Friday.

I went to the bathroom, and I started to get excited that my period still hadn’t come. I then thought, what if I take a pregnancy test, and when it says Not Pregnant I can stop hoping. I’ll know my period will show up anytime.

I grabbed the last test I had under my bathroom sink. It was the more expensive digital kind. I knew that it would be the most reliable tool I had besides getting my period.

I took the test and waited.

In the moment of waiting I just kept thinking Not Pregnant, it’s going to say Not Pregnant and that’s okay. I’m bummed but at least I’ll know.

It was 4:30 in the morning. I checked the test after 2 minutes. I squinted my eyes at the word on the screen. I was still tired with sleepies in my eyes. I read the word. I read it again.

Pregnant… huh? Where’s the Not? It doesn’t say Not Pregnant. Is it broken? Does Not pop up later? I took a deep breath and wrapped my mind around my surprising reality. I’m pregnant. No way! I’m pregnant! In that moment it hit me and I sobbed with joy, and with hesitation. I praised God and thanked Him for this little blessing!

I’m pregnant. Third pregnancy, here we go!

The morning I found out I was pregnant again for a third time, I went about my day as normally as possible. I went to work and taught preschoolers. On my lunch break, I came home and showed Charles the pregnancy test and he was happy but not surprised.

In the middle of the day at work, I went to the bathroom. I was happy to step out of my classroom and get off my feet for a moment. However, when I went to the bathroom I was surprised to see a little bit of spotting. Oh no…. not again. I instantly started to panic and thought I was having another miscarriage. I prayed that what ever would happen would be the Lord’s will. I was scared but I just had to trust and stay calm.

About an hour later, I went to the bathroom and saw no blood. I was relieved and filled with peace. I went about my day staying calm and trying to relax.

The next day while Charles and I were on a drive running some errands, I had to stop at the store to use the bathroom. While there I was surprised to see yet again a tiny bit of spotting. This time, I didn’t panic. I felt like what I was seeing was normal. With my miscarriage in the past when I was bleeding, the bleeding didn’t subside. It just got heavier and heavier until I lost my pregnancy. Whereas, the bleeding I was seeing now was still very light, and only happened once or twice.

Based on my symptoms, I am assuming that what I was experiencing was implantation bleeding. Implantation bleeding sometimes occurs when the egg implants into the wall of the uterus. It usually occurs around the time you start your period, so women sometimes mistake implantation bleeding as a period. Only a certain percentage of women have this, and is completely normal.

As I reflect back on my previous pregnancies, I don’t remember having any implantation bleeding with Mackenzie. With Chase, I remember having a very tiny bit before the pregnancy test turned positive.

Based on the research and what I know, I was not going to fret. The bleeding stopped, and I felt fine. So I was just going to trust that everything was okay.

After the weekend of finding out I was pregnant again, I called my OB office and asked if I could have my pregnancy confirmed. They said they were going to do a quantitative HCG level check to not only see if I’m pregnant but also see if my numbers were doubling.

Charles and I went to the lab after work and a few hours later I got my first set of results. While sitting on the couch I anxiously prayed and logged in to my account. As I scrolled and looked through my charts, I found my most recent test result. Before clicking the view result button, I prayed that what ever happens would happen. At that point in my life, I knew that I couldn’t control my circumstances but I had to trust and believe that God knew what he was doing.

When I opened my test results I was in shock. My HCG levels had already hit the 1,000’s and I was only 4 weeks. I couldn’t believe it. I cried. I danced around the living room and praised God for his love and his mercy.

The next day I received a call from an OB nurse. She said congratulations and that my doctor took a look at my labs, and everything looked great. She felt there was no need to have additional bloodwork done as my levels were in a great range. I asked the nurse a few questions and scheduled my first prenatal appointment. I was a bundle of nerves and excitement as I hung up the phone. It hit me all over again that I was pregnant.

I’m officially 5 weeks and baby is the size of an Appleseed!

Pregnancy symptoms include: sore breasts, nausea when I have an empty stomach, headaches, slight cramping, and major fatigue!

At this point in time only 3 people know, Charles, Andrea and my coworker Deja.

My first prenatal appointment is scheduled for next week!

So far, things are going well, and I am excited to see what the weeks ahead bring. 🙂

A few months back I wrote a post about being more like Hannah from the Bible. Coincidentally, I was writing that post around the same time I got pregnant. In that post I talk about how all Hannah really wanted was a baby. She prayed and cried out to God about her longing to be a mother. However, God made her wait and it wasn’t until she humbled herself and dedicated her unborn baby to the Lord, that she became pregnant and gave birth to her son.

When my pregnancy hit 5 weeks, I started to become very anxious. the shock of finally being pregnant again started to wear off and reality started to hit. My life was forever changed again. In 9 months I would be giving birth to a beautiful baby or at any point I could suffer another loss.

When I hit 5 weeks in my pregnancy, I laid in bed crying. I texted my friend Andrea and talked through my anxieties. I stayed up talking to Charles and praying to God about the baby.

A Mother’s Prayer

Lord, please forgive me of my sins and I just want to thank you so much for this little blessing.

Lord, thank you for this baby, no matter how long we may be blessed with him or her.

Lord, I want to dedicate this baby to you. This is your baby, that you have simply allowed me to care for. I am going to do my best to care for and love this baby.

Lord, thank you for this baby. Thank you that we are both healthy. Thank you for allowing me to get pregnant and thank you for this pregnancy. In Jesus name, Amen.

After saying this prayer, I felt peace and went to sleep. 💤

At 6 weeks pregnant, everything feels right on track! Baby is the size of a Sweet Pea!

My symptoms include morning sickness (nausea and vomiting), pelvic pressure, fatigue, food cravings and aversions, increased thirst, and frequent urination.

A handful of people know including some coworkers, Andrea, Alli and Charles of course.

Tomorrow is my first prenatal appointment!

Officially 7 weeks pregnant! Baby is the size of a Blueberry 🫐

This weeks symptoms include major fatigue, morning sickness and not just nausea but also puking while brushing my teeth. 🤦🏻‍♀️ I’ve also experienced some leg cramps but I called my doctor and it turns out I wasn’t drinking enough water. Things are better now though. I’m also experiencing vivid dreams, excess saliva, strong pregnancy nose, vaginal discharge and breast tenderness.

Last week I had my first prenatal appointment over the phone and all went well. I also had my first round of blood work and everything looks great. No gestational diabetes. Iron, and thyroid levels are excellent. No UTI or other infections. And no STIs of any kind. I couldn’t be more relieved with my numbers.

Tomorrow, is our first ultrasound scan. It was moved up by a week to give myself a little piece of mind. I’m excited and very nervous for this scan. I’m doing my best to trust in Jesus, and relax.

One other thing I would like to mention before my first scan is this. I think I’m having twins. I think this for a few different reasons.

1. My HCG was very high. Just at 4 weeks it was around a thousand and having a high HCG is sometimes a sign of twins.

2. Major Fatigue. I remember feeling tired in my other pregnancies, but the fatigue I am experiencing now is on a whole different level. No matter how much I sleep, I have the worst time getting up. I take at least one nap on weekdays when I get home from work and I take two or three on the weekend. Having this bad of fatigue makes me think there is more than one baby in there.

3. Intuition/Gut feeling. I just have a feeling it’s twins. I can’t explain it. Since I first got pregnant, Charles has also been thinking it’s twins. When I envision the baby, I see myself holding a girl, but I see my parents helping us care for a boy. I don’t have one strong gender feeling over the other. I feel like I’m having both.

4. The pelvic pressure is different. This time around I am feeling pressure from both sides of my uterus. It’s like my ovaries and the sides of my uterus take turns growing. Maybe that’s normal in a singleton pregnancy, I’m not sure. All I know is there’s a lot going on in there.

5. A Special Phrase. After my second pregnancy loss, a woman at my church gave me a hug and said something to me that has stayed with me since my loss. She said “All I know is you’re going to have double for your trouble. Yep double for your trouble. Who knows, maybe you’ll have twins.” She then laughed and walked away. This could just be me over analyzing little details or this could be something. I guess we’ll find out tomorrow.

6. God has a Sense of Humor. I grew up with best friends who are twins. I’ve also lost two babies. We plan and God laughs. Maybe it’s twins. Maybe he has chosen us to carry twins because he knows I have somewhat of an idea on how twins grow up.

All I know is, tomorrow we will have some answers. So stay tuned friends. 🙂

On Friday, May 21st I woke up at 4:50am. I tossed and turned all night as I anticipated my 7 week ultrasound later that day. I spent the morning watching tv, eating and resting. I tried my best to rest and stay calm before my appointment.

When 12:45pm rolled around it was time for us to head to our 2 o’clock appointment. I tried my best to be excited, calm and cautious.

We checked into the hospital at 1:45pm. The ultrasound appointment was scheduled at a different location because the location we usually go to was booked until mid June. My OB requested that I get an ultrasound between 7-8 weeks.

As we sat in the waiting room, I looked at my phone in an attempt to distract myself from my anxieties. When we were called back I held my breath.

When we got to the room, the person doing our ultrasound said she was a student, studying to be a radiology tech. She explained that she would do our ultrasound, then the tech would look it over, then send it to the radiologist to look over.

As I got on the table and laid back, I kept forgetting to breathe. I tried taking deep breaths and just praying in my head. I trust you Lord. It’s going to be okay. Please just have your way.

The student tech asked a few questions and went to work. She took a look at my ovaries, which felt like forever. She then took a look at baby. I saw a little blob on the screen and was hopeful. Okay, there’s baby. Baby is in the uterus. That’s a good sign. The student tech took a variety of images of baby.

Next, she brought up the heart rate scale. It was flat at first and I got scared. What if there’s not a heart beat? I then saw a wave on the scale as it picked up the heart beat. Then it went flat again. I held my breath. Was that my heart beat or baby’s? The tech started typing and then said. “Heart rate is at 147, and that is excellent.” A sigh of relief washed over my face. She looked at me and said “I knew you were waiting on that.”

After the student tech was finished she left to get the tech. The tech confirmed everything that the student tech found, and reassured me that everything looked great. I asked the tech if there was only one baby, and they both claimed that they could only find one. I was fine with that. The tech also told me that it looked like it was my right ovary that had ovulated so there’s a good chance that it’s a boy if my ovaries are quote on quote normal.

The tech gave me two pictures and sent us on our way. I was feeling beyond relieved and blessed by all that was done at our appointment. I couldn’t stop thanking Jesus. We got to see baby. Baby has a heartbeat. We saw the little flicker of the heart. Baby was measuring right on track at 7 weeks and 1 day. Heart rate was 147, and a normal heart rate is anywhere between 120-180. My due date didn’t change as it was still 1/6/22. All was good. All was okay. I was feeling so blessed!

I’ve heard it said that pregnancy after loss comes with a special kind of joy and comfort, but also grief and anxiety. It’s true. I’ve experienced this since the moment I saw the word PREGNANT on a test.

Everyday, is something I just try to get through but also just try to enjoy because I know this little life is precious and anything can happen at any moment.

It’s funny but I actually enjoy having morning sickness. Because when I have morning sickness, I know baby is okay. In my other two pregnancies, I felt my hormone levels drop and my symptoms start to disappear right before both my losses. I think I knew something was wrong but I just tried to ignore it. It’s like my mind couldn’t go there. It couldn’t face the loss that was about to happen.

So, I enjoy morning sickness. I enjoy feeling sick all the time. I enjoy the breast pain, the fatigue, acne, mood swings, everything. It gives me comfort and reassures me that baby is okay. In fact if I’m not feeling sick, I usually am praying that God will make me sick, just so I can put my mind at ease.

Being pregnant again makes me excited, of course. I’m also cautious. I’m cautious because I’ve experience the heartache of loss.

So, I take each day one day at a time. I’m thankful for every single day I have with this baby. I’m thankful for the morning sickness and everything that pregnancy brings. I’m just thankful. ❤️

Officially 8 weeks pregnant! Baby is the size of a raspberry. I am eternally grateful for this little bean that was sent from our Heavenly Father. ❤️

This weeks symptoms include morning sickness, mostly just consistent nausea but sometimes I puke. I’ve also had fatigue, breast tenderness, headaches, increased hunger, increased urination, bloating, and disrupted sleep.

This past week I told my parents and my grandma about our big news and they were thrilled.

For about a week I experienced some leg cramps that became intense and uncomfortable from time to time. I reached out to my doctor and it was discovered that I was likely deficient in magnesium. I was put on 400 mg of magnesium once a day and have seen major improvement.

Week 8… here we go!

9 weeks pregnant! I have officially entered the third month of pregnancy. Baby is the size of a cherry! 🍒

This weeks symptoms include sore breasts, nausea and more frequent vomiting, fatigue, increased saliva, acne, decreased appetite and frequent urination.

More and more people are either figuring out that I am pregnant, or I have shared our news with them.

According to my pregnancy apps, the placenta is about 90% formed and functioning. All four chambers of baby’s heart have now developed and teeth buds are starting to form.

Here’s to week 9! 🍕 🥤 🤮 🛌

Officially 10 weeks pregnant! Baby has graduated from an embryo to a fetus and is now the size of a strawberry!

This week’s symptoms include, nausea, vomiting, sore breasts, constipation, crazy vivid dreams, cravings and fatigue.

This up coming week I have two appointments, including a check for a UTI and my first appointment with my midwife/centering group.

10 weeks, here we go! Already 1/4 of the way there!

Officially 11 weeks! Pinch me I must be dreaming! This week baby is the size of a Lime!

This weeks symptoms include gas, bloating, fatigue, cravings, morning sickness, moodiness, hip pain, aching joints, increased urination, heartburn and round ligament pain.

No appointments are scheduled this week as I had 2 last week.

2 more weeks until the second trimester! Let’s do this!!! 💕

On June 18th, 2021 Charles and I decided to do it. We decided to announce our pregnancy and make it public. It was exciting, nerve racking, scary and wonderful.

I put together our message board and it read… For this baby we have prayed, our rainbow is due in January 2022.

We received an abundance of congratulations, well wishes and prayers.

Wow… I can’t believe I made it to 12 weeks! I have never come this far along in a pregnancy. I feel so incredibly grateful. This pregnancy hasn’t been easy by any means, but is certainly a gift I try to cherish and not take for granted.

This week, baby is the size of a plum! Just 7 weeks ago baby was the size of a Appleseed… crazy! Also, this week baby’s reflexes are developing and the intestines are starting to find their place in baby’s abdomen.

This weeks symptoms include morning sickness, fatigue, cravings, hip pain, round ligament pain, heartburn, increased urination, and increased thirst. Supposedly, this week my morning sickness symptoms may start to decline as I near the second trimester.

This week, I have one appointment. I am doing sequential screening, where they test for various genetic and developmental abnormalities through a blood test and ultrasound.

12 weeks here we go! Let’s finish up the first trimester strong!

At my last OB apptiiontment with a midwife, I was offered some optional prenatal testing called sequential screening. The tests looks for various genetic abnormalities including Down Syndrome, Cystic Fibrous, Spina Bifida and more. The test is done by looking and measuring baby through ultrasound as well as testing for different hormones through a mother’s blood draw.

I considered this test when it was first offered to me, and decided to do it for two reasons. 1) because of my history with miscarriages I wanted to know all I could about baby. and 2) with the family history of my brother dying as an infant I knew I could be higher risk for different genetic abnormalities.

On the day of the test, I was a bundle of nerves, as I always am. I went to work that morning as normal as possible. Teaching preschoolers was a good distraction for most of the day. However, as the time drew closer and closer to the test, my fears and worries started to creep up on me.

I confided in many of my coworkers, and they encouraged me and sent me many positive vibes before leaving for my test. The funny thing is, at the time I wasn’t even concerned about the results of the test or any genetic disorders that may be found. I was actually scared of the actual ultrasound. We all know how ultrasounds give me anxiety since my last two losses. I was more concerned that I had lost baby and didn’t even know it. What if baby’s heart stopped beating? What if baby stopped growing? In between work and my test I also confided in my family and friends, read my bible and did some deep breathing.

Charles and I headed to our appointment. I prayed and talked to him the entire time. Charles reassured me that everything would be just fine. When we arrived, we were called back immediately and shown the ultrasound room. Before laying down and preparing for the heated jelly, I confided in the tech and told her I was very nervous.

I laid down and prepared for the worst but hoped for the best. The tech turned on the screen, asked me some questions and began the exam. I held my breath and watched as she looked for baby. She said “There’s baby, and there’s the heartbeat.” I sighed with relief and thanked Jesus. The tech measured baby’s heart rate and it was 163. Perfect. She then started to take images of baby’s heart, stomach, head, and spine.

Baby made little movements here and there but actually looked like he or she was sleeping. The tech still had a few more images to take. She tried nudging baby with the probe and getting baby to turn or roll over… that didn’t work. She then thought she’d take a moment to look at my ovaries then come back to baby. She continued nudging baby with the probe, asking me to roll to my left then roll to my right then flat on my back. She asked me to roll quickly and roll slowly. She asked me to walk around, do some stretching, and anything to get baby to try and move.

As the tech tried nudging baby again, baby turned it’s head and looked at us. It was hilarious and obviously trying to tease the tech. Then baby started waving it’s arms and tried sucking it’s thumb. Baby even put one hand on its forehead, as if feeling irritated and trying to be dramatic. Baby was just stubborn and really wanted to nap. I told the tech during the appointment that this time of day after work is normally my nap time, so it’s understandable why baby wants to take a nap. Eventually, baby cooperated enough to where we were able to get all the photos needed for the test.

After the test I was given a bunch of pictures of our photogenic baby and sent to the lab for some blood work. I was told all of my scans and blood work would be sent to the Mayo Clinic and I would receive results from them within a week or two.

When it was time to go home, all I could do was stare in awe over baby. So many pictures. I got to see baby move and I got to see baby’s heartbeat. Charles actually enjoyed himself too because baby was starting to look like a baby! I shared the good news with my family and friends. They were excited, relieved and so happy for us.

I even shared this little update on my Facebook page as I truly want to not only share in my pregnancy with others, but also share the struggle of pregnancy after loss. I wrote:

It’s funny, now that writing is my hobby, I’m usually really good at explaining what I’m trying to say. But today, I’m at a loss for words. I guess I’ll try and speak from my heart, and maybe just maybe it will make sense.
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I’m going to be completely honest, pregnancy after loss is freaking scary. Sometimes I lay awake at night worried, and over analyzing my symptoms hoping and praying baby is okay. Other times, I am happy, I am at peace and I am content.
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Today, I didn’t know what I was feeling. I was hoping and praying for the best, but truthfully planning for the worse. When you’ve gone through loss you know what the heartbreak feels like and you remember the never ending grief, and in someways you never really escape it.
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This afternoon we had a special appointment. I walked into the room holding my breath and giving it to Jesus. The minute I heard the tech say “there’s the heartbeat.” I knew it was all okay.
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Baby is happy, healthy and stubborn! Heart rate was 163. And I’m measuring a few days early so we are already at 13 weeks! I don’t think I could have asked for better news even if I tried! Baby is okay. We are overwhelmed with joy and feeling so blessed!

Hooray Hooray!!! Officially 13 weeks! One more week until the second trimester! We can do this!

This week baby is the size of a lemon… ish. Since my most recent ultrasound it seems that I am measuring ahead by a couple of days. So really baby is between the size of a lemon and a peach. 🍋 + 🍑

This weeks symptoms include fatigue, cravings, less harsh morning sickness, constipation and hip pain.

Thankfully, my morning sickness started to slowly get better by the middle of 11 weeks. And now I’m only feeling sick about once a day. It was scary at first to feel the nausea start to fade, but having an ultrasound this week helped ease my fears.

And speaking of hip pain… within the last week I have had some pain in my left hip than has slightly intensified. I did my own research and from what I found, it was looking like I might be suffering from a pinched sciatic nerve. I called my nurse at my OB office and explained that I have occasional sharp shooting pain that radiates from my hip towards my groin, down my butt and down my leg. She said that a pinched sciatic nerve is very common in pregnancy as my hips start to expand and the uterus puts more weight on the nerve. She gave me some exercises, meds and heat remedies to try. She said after trying all of these, if it doesn’t improve I will need to consider physical therapy.

Besides the hip pain, things are going really well. I had an ultrasound this past week and got to see baby. And this week I have a check in appointment with my midwife.

13 weeks, last week of the first trimester. We got this! 💕

Reblog: Go Back to School and Get a Bachelor’s Degree ✔️

November 9, 2022 by Kaylee, posted in Goals, Just Me Blogging

This post was written in April of 2019.

Guess what!?!?… I finally did it! I graduated college and received my Bachelor’s degree! I now hold an Associate’s degree in General Studies, an Associate’s degree in Early Childhood Education and a Bachelor’s degree in Child and Family Development.

It has taken me 7 years total to complete my college journey. I spent 3 years at community college, took a gap year and 3 years at a university. To be honest, I thought I was going to be in college… FOREVER. And I can’t tell you how thankful I am to be done.

I went through a lot of changes through these last 7 years. I fell in love, got engaged and got married. I worked numerous jobs including receptionist, food service, and lead teacher. I also received scholarships, rewards, dean’s list recognition, and participated in student organizations. I endured a lot of hardships including depression, anxiety, financial challenges, miscarriages, surgery, and grief. Lastly, I made long lasting friendships, received so much love and support from family, learned life long lessons and received a wonderful education.

So many times I wanted quit. So many times I wanted to throw it all away. So many times I thought it was too hard and I just wasn’t made for college. But I didn’t quit. I didn’t give up. I kept pushing forward and I reached my goal. It was’t easy… but I did it.

As many of you know, due to this whole coronavirus pandemic, many graduation ceremonies were cancelled or postponed… including mine. On my graduation day, I proudly put on my cap and gown, and drove to see my family. I sat in the car and they saw me from a distance. I’m thankful they were able to see me on my graduation day.

When we got home, my hubby took pictures and made me a wonderful graduation dinner. Though this day wasn’t anything like I had expected, and I was slightly bummed I wasn’t able to participate in a ceremony with my class; I’m still thankful I was able to celebrate and make the most out of this day.

So it’s official. I did it. I still can’t believe it. I’m officially a college graduate! 🎓

Reblog: 10 Things to Get Inspired and Fight Writer’s Block

October 3, 2022February 27, 2022 by Kaylee, posted in Goals, Just Me Blogging, Publishing, Top 10 Lists

For the last two weeks, I have been dealing with a little thing called… writer’s block. I’ve had writer’s block before, but never to this extent. To be honest I believe it’s a mixture of writer’s block, exhaustion and procrastination. I am exhausted because I am on holiday break, and have been doing my best to soak in every moment of rest and relaxation before I return to college for my last semester. I am procrastinating because as much as I love writing, it can be tiring. It takes a lot of brain power to figure out what to say, how to say it, when to say it, and have it all make sense. I sometimes feel pressured to write about something worth while so you as my readers not only enjoy what I am writing, but can also relate to it. I don’t get this pressure from any of my readers, but more myself as I am my most harsh critic. Regardless, I am dedicated to blogging. I love writing and blogging about my life, advocating about pregnancy loss, and connecting with my readers. So, I will continue writing, despite the exhaustion, procrastion and writer’s block.

If you are a writer and you too are suffering from writer’s block, here are a few tips and tricks I’ve learned that may help YOU feel inspired to start writing again.

10 THINGS TO GET INSPIRED AND FIGHT WRITER’S BLOCK

1. BRAINSTORMING

Brainstorming is something I didn’t truly learn how to do until I came to college. I have done the exercise in a variety of my classes. First pull up a blank document on your computer, or grab a piece of paper from a notebook. Set a timer for 2 minutes and instantly jot down different ideas for your blog, paper, or whatever you need to write. For example, if I am trying to think of a new blog post topic, I may write down ideas such as my dream vacation, my love story, 10 things I love about blogging, my favorite foods, etc. As you write down your ideas, don’t second guess yourself. Don’t stop to think about it. Just write it down. When the timer goes off, stop and take a look over your ideas. Through process of elimination, decide which idea works best for your project, and begin writing. For some reason, brainstorming has been found to be very effective, because it allows our minds to have quick ideas… and sometimes the best ideas come when we feel pressure and put our minds to it.

2. DISTRACTION

So this isn’t always the best idea, but it can be affective at times. However, I don’t recommend this tip if you are in a time crunch. Sometimes when I need to write a paper for school, I have to distract myself in order to feel inspired and know what I want to write about. Some ways I distract myself is by cleaning my house, cooking a meal, doodling, watching Netflix, or going for a walk. Often when I am distracted, I am allowing myself a little mental break so I can return with fresh eyes, and a focused mind to begin writing.

3. PINTEREST

Pinterest is truly my favorite. Who ever created this platform was truly a genius. Pinterest is the place I go to get inspired. You can practically search anything and find it on Pinterest. If you are looking for essay topics, blog post ideas, novel themes, etc., odds are you will find it all and more on Pinterest. I would advise caution when going on Pinterest though, If you are anything like me, you could easily spend hours looking at different ideas on Pinterest. So, I would surely advise that you be vigilant of time while on Pinterest.

4. SELFCARE

Selfcare is incredibly important, and I advocate all the time how we all need some selfcare in our busy crazy lives. Sometimes when I’m stuck, and I don’t know what to write, I have to be kind to myself and do a little selfcare. Some ways I practice selfcare and pamper myself are by taking a bubble bath, deep breathing exercises, listening to music, and doing something I love. When I’ve taken the time to take care of myself, I feel more relaxed, recharged and ready to begin a new task.

5. PROCRASTINATION

Okay, so if I had to guess, I can imagine a majority of you wouldn’t have thought that procrastination would be something that will help with writer’s block. As a matter of fact, it is usually a root cause to our writer’s block. Well, believe it or not, procrastination can actually be very beneficial. When we procrastinate we wait until the last few moments to do something. This could be waiting to clean your house an hour before a family gathering, or it could be waiting until you are almost on E before filling up your car with gas, or it could be waiting to write a paper until it is due the next day. This isn’t neccisarily a good idea, because when we procrastinate we are on a time crunch and are not giving ourselves enough time if technology fails or something goes wrong. However, just like what I said in the brainstorming tip, sometimes putting pressure on ourselves helps us to get stuff done. With pressure from limited time, we often can get tasks done quickly. Oh and I will even admit that I have procrastinated to write something, and because of it I actually produced some of my best pieces of writing because of the pressure I put on myself.

6. LISTS

Making lists can be helpful when wanting to feel inspired and get motivated to get stuff done. On days when I am very unmotivated, I force myself to sit down and write a list. I make a list of all the things I hope to accomplish that day. If it is a big project or paper, I will divide it up. For example instead of writing 1. Write my 10 page paper for English, I will write something like 1. Write 2 pages of 10 page paper for English. This not only makes the task more manageable, but helps me to decide how much time I should dedicate to each task. Somedays I get everything done on my list and some days I don’t. I do however reward myself when I get things done so I don’t get burned out and want to call it quits.

7. TALKING

When I get stuck and don’t know what to write, sometimes it helps to talk to others. I ask friends, family members, my Instagram followers and others ideas on what to write on here. Feedback from others can be very beneficial and can help us to see new perspectives, and run with a new idea.

8. CREATIVITY

Being creative through a different task besides writing can help get your creative juices flowing. Sometimes I will spend a few hours crocheting, trying to decide what to write about. It’s not the crocheting that inspires me, but rather the fact that I am keeping my hands busy, so my mind has the ability to wander off, daydream, and think of other things. This usually helps me to get inspired and begin a new blog post.

9. RELATING

Sometimes I am blocked and can’t write because I have no idea how to relate my topic to anything, mainly my own life. It’s as if I have an idea, but I don’t know how it applies to my life. Do you remember creating those writing webs in grade school? Do you remember how we would have to start with a subject, circle it and brainstorm other ideas around it? And then, we would have to figure out how to connect the supporting ideas together. To be honest, those things drove me crazy, but I now see how beneficial they can be. If I’m stuck and can’t figure out how to relate my idea to my life, a certain concept or a class, then I usually create a writing web.

10. ORGANIZATION

Getting organized is the best feeling… in my opinion. Taking the time to organize my thoughts, ideas, and topic is the first step in writing something powerful. Write out your title and your headings. Just seeing them in order and laid out can help you start writing. I guarantee you if you take the time to organize, you will be that much closer and more motivated to write and create something amazing.

Reblog: The Joys and Challenges of Being an Interracial Couple

September 22, 2022August 27, 2022 by Kaylee, posted in Just Me Blogging, Love Story, Marriage

“Puedo tener su numero del telefono? Charles said to me one day as I was gathering my things and leaving our Spanish class 5 years ago.

“What?” I said, not sure what he was saying. I tried, but I was not that good at Spanish.

“Puedo tener su numero del telephono?” He said again, and stared at me looking for an answer.

“I don’t know what you are saying… you want my phone number?” I asked confused and flattered.

“Si” he said excited. I gave him my phone number and went on my way. This was pretty much the conversation that started everything.

After meeting each other on September 4th, 2014…. we became aquaintances. We then began Spanish class buddies and eventually friends.

After asking me out 3 times, I finally said yes and Charles took me out for Indian. It was so sweet, yummy and awkward… but first dates usually are. By November 4th, 2014 we decided to make it official and become boyfriend and girlfriend…. or Novio and Novia.

We dated for a year and 8 months before getting engaged. He was so nervous as we walked through a park downtown, pulled out a ring, got down on one knee and asked me to marry him… of course I said yes. It was the best birthday present I ever received.

Exactly 3 months later, we tied the knot on November 12th, 2016. We had the perfect fall wedding with many of our friends and family in attendance. We got married in the same church my grandparents got married in, and my Daddy gave me away to Charles. It was beautiful.

Before meeting Charles, I had never really considered dating someone let alone marrying someone of a different race. I have always been open to meeting new people no matter what they look like or where they come from, but I honestly just never thought I would be in an interracial relationship.

Dating Charles made me realize we were from two different worlds. There were a lot of cultural differences that I was not at all use to. A lot of slang and phrases Charles would use I didn’t understand, or had never heard before. Thanksgiving was a huge culture shock. I was used to turkey, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, stuffing, fruit, corn on the cob and pumpkin pie. In Charles very soul food oriented family we had turkey, ham, fried chicken, greens, yams, corn bread, stuffing, mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese, and cabbage. It was amazing.

When we got married I learned more things about being a black and white interracial couple. For instance people stare at us. Sometimes they are staring at us because we’re cute together, but other times they stare at us with disapproving looks… it’s very uncomfortable.

Regardless of these differences, I truly enjoy being in an interracial marriage. I enjoy being with someone who has a very different background than I, but also shares the same values. For better for worse, for rich or poor, in sickness and in health, black or white…. I love Charles so much and I am honored to be his wife.

If I Ever Won the Lottery….

September 20, 2022September 17, 2022 by Kaylee, posted in Goals, Just Me Blogging

If I ever won the lottery, or was blessed with a bunch of money, I would spend the money and plan my life accordingly:

1. Invest

I would do the smart thing and invest a bunch of money of course. I would create a nice little nest egg so my family and I could live comfortably without much worry.

2. Pay off Any Debts I May Have

I don’t currently have a lot of debts, but let’s say I did. I would pay off my house, the car(s), student loans, credit cards, etc.

3. Build A House

I would find a nice junk of land likely in Michigan, in the woods or on a farm and build a house. I would build a wing for extended family members and a wing for my immediate family. It would have a walk in closet, large kitchen with a large pantry and island, large master bath and bedroom, 2 laundry rooms on separate floors, 4 seasons porch, office, playroom, library, a school room for homeschooling, a 3 car garage and a courtyard just to name a few rooms.

4. I’d Start a Farm

On the big plot of land I would buy, I would hope to have a number of animals as well. I’d get 2 dairy cows, 6 chickens, a goat, barn cats, and a dog.

5. I Would Do Nice Things for My Family

My family not only raised me but helped me a lot as I emerged from childhood to adulthood. I hope to pay them back in many ways, but one way is, I would offer to pay their bills for an entire year, if not longer.

6. I Would Donate to a Good Cause

Whether it’s missionaries overseas, an animal shelter or children’s hospital; I would like to donate to something good.

7. I Would Hire a Personal Chef

Winning a boat load of money would give me the opportunity to hire a personal chef. I would no longer have to cook my own meals, or struggle to decide on dinner for my family.

8. I Would Get An Endless Supply of Something

What’s the point of winning the lottery if you don’t get to have an endless supply of something. I’m not sure what I would choose at this time but I have a few ideas. Coffee? Buffalo Wings? Chocolate? Blankets? Smoothies? Pillows? Who knows?

The options are endless!

Just a Little Life Update

August 20, 2022 by Kaylee, posted in Just Me Blogging

Hi Friends, readers, and people who just happened to stumble onto my blog. I apologize for my absence and silence the last few weeks. I’ve had a whole lot going on but also a whole lot of nothing, that has prevented me from feeling inspired enough to write. However, now that my baby is finally down for his morning nap, I thought I would jot down a few ideas, thoughts and updates that have been circling my mind.

This past week I came down with mastitis for the second time. And it took over three days to get ahold of my doctor to get some antibiotics. That was frustrating. Thankfully, I am slowly on the mend. I have to say, being a mom is no easy task. But it is 10x times harder to be a mom and care for a baby when you’re sick, and/or your baby is sick.

Matthew has been doing well the past week. Teething has seemed to slow down a bit, which has been a nice break. His new thing this week is going on hands and knees, to pushing back to a sitting position. He is also trying to pull up on things and so incredibly close to crawling.

I turned 27 this month. I can’t believe I’m 3 years away from 30! For my birthday, my husband took me out to a crab shack. It was AHHMAZING! We had salad, oysters, shrimp, crab, lobster tail, broccoli, corn and potatoes. We also got a free slice of cheese cake. I’m not even going to tell you how much we spent but it was worth it! A few days later my mom bought pizza, and blizzards from Dairy Queen. My husband bought me a coffee and we had some breakfast sandwiches. I didn’t realize how much my birthday was centered around food, but never the less it was great!

Rocky got established with a new vet earlier this month and he is doing great! He is a healthy weight, no fleas and doing well. He even cooperated when the doctor gave him his exam.

I have been doing better at diving into the Word and reading on a daily basis. It has always been so refreshing to me to read a scripture and to be able to apply it to my daily life.

I’ve been thinking about our wedding anniversary coming up in November. I can’t believe it’ll be 6 years. How exciting!? It always depends on the weather for us. In November in Michigan, it could be snowing and 30° or 60° and sunny. So weather permitting we’ll have to plan something.

I think that’s pretty much everything that’s happening. As my life gets more exciting, and I feel inspired I’ll write more. But for now, it’s been fun and I’ll talk to you later. ❤️

My Summer 2022 Bucket List Check In!

July 31, 2022July 6, 2022 by Kaylee, posted in Goals, Just Me Blogging, Self Care

I probably say this every year, but how on earth is it July??? Not only this summer, but this entire year is flying by! Anyway, here’s a quick check in of my goals and how I’m doing. 😊

MY SUMMER 2022 BUCKET LIST

Grow a Garden and produce fruits, veggies and spices.

So, since we are currently staying with family, we haven’t quite got the plants in the ground yet… but we do have plants. Does that count? We have a little bit of an over population with the bunnies that we need to figure out before we try growing our fruits, veggies and spices.

2. Go on some sort of family adventure (the zoo, the beach, the park, garage sailing, tulip festival etc.)

This summer has already been so hot, that I have been hesitant about taking our son out as I don’t want him to get dehydrated. I’m hoping it can cool down soon and we can find something fun to do.

3. Establish a more consistent daytime routine for my Baby (Naps, feedings, playtime, tummy time, etc.)

Umm… yes and no. Every time I think we are starting to have a schedule, something always changes. I have discovered within the last few weeks that I have to limit Matthew’s naps. I also have to make sure his last nap isn’t too late in the day, otherwise he does not sleep well at night.

4. Publish my Memoir

I’m working on it okay. Writing and self publishing a book is hard.

5. Start a weekly Yoga Routine

Let’s not go there.

6. Finish Knitting Charles Sweater

It’s been a little too hot to knit these days.

7. Finish Reading the Entire Bible

Currently working on Isaiah, and hoping to start another book soon.

8. Reorganize my Bathroom

My bathroom isn’t really mine at the moment, since I’m sharing it with other people, so this goal is on hold for now.

9. Commit to going on Family Walks at least once a week,

Again it’s been too hot. But we have gone a few times, just not every week.

10. Create some New Recipes

I haven’t really had a chance to cook since moving, but I am hoping to do this very soon.

11. Introduce solid foods to my Baby ✔️

This has been a huge hit in our house. We have been trying solid foods since 4.5 months and so far Matthew has tried bananas, apples, prunes, peas, carrots, chicken, peaches, pears, cereal and butternut squash. We are hoping to try avocado and sweet potato next.

12. Start teaching Baby Sign Language in our Home. ✔️

Since starting on solids, we have also been teaching baby sign language. The signs we’ve used so far include milk, more and all done. Matthew hasn’t signed any of these back to us quite yet, but soon enough I’m sure he will.

13. Spend more time with my Family and Friends ✔️

As we’ve been staying with family, I have been able to spend more time with family and friends. ❤️

14. Do Art Projects with my Baby ✔️

Let me tell you, this has been an adventure. So far we had done foot print crafts for Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. Let’s just say Momma wore a lot of blue paint. I think Matthew had fun though.

15. Reach 425 Written Blog Posts

I’m still in the 300’s as far as blog posts but we’ll get there.

3 out of 15 goals met. That’s a pretty good start!

My Baby Bear is 6 Months Old!

July 2, 2022July 13, 2022 by Kaylee, posted in Baby

My Baby Bear is 6 months old! I can’t believe it. So much has happened and yet time just feels like it flew right by. Feels like just yesterday we were bringing him home from the hospital, and now he is a sweet, charismatic, energetic, vocal little boy.

The past 6 months have been the best and hardest of my life. When people say “you won’t remember what life was like before you had kids.” Believe them. It’s true. I don’t remember. Part of that is sleep deprivation and part of that is just realizing how truly blessed I am to have a baby.

Anyway, enough of me being all sentimental. Here is an update on Matthew!

Born: 1/2/22

Weighed: 7lbs 11oz

Now!

6 months old

Weighs 19lbs

Wears 9 month clothes

Size 3 Diapers

0 Teeth

Doesn’t sleep through the night yet. We’re lucky if he gets a 4 hour stretch.

Still nursing, as well as eating solids including apples, peaches, bananas, pears, prunes, carrots, chicken, cereal and peas.

Favorite toys include anything that lights up or plays music, penguin paci, piano, kiddy pool, snuggle bug and links.

A few of his favorite things include: Bath time, swimming in his pool, trying new foods, blowing raspberries, having giggle fits, listening to music, exploring his blocks, cuddling with mommy and playing with daddy.

His milestones:

– He can officially sit unassisted,

– Roll belly to back and back to belly

– Put his toes in his mouth.

– Reaching for toys.

– Starting to throw

– Trying to stand and walk,

– Sip water

– Sing

– Say mama 💕

Happy Half Birthday Baby Boy! You’re officially half way to 1! Can’t wait to see you grow these next 6 months and beyond!

My Summer 2022 Bucket List

May 26, 2022March 15, 2022 by Kaylee, posted in Goals, Just Me Blogging

Another Summer, means another Bucket List! This summer is going to be interesting having a mobile infant around. I’m excited to see the many adventures and activities we’ll have together as a family 🙂

My Summer 2022 Bucket List

Grow a Garden and produce fruits, veggies and spices.
Go on some sort of family adventure (the zoo, the beach, the park, garage sailing, tulip festival etc.)
Establish a more consistent daytime routine for my Baby (Naps, feedings, playtime, tummy time, etc.)
Publish my Memoir ❤️
Start a weekly Yoga Routine
Finish Knitting Charles Sweater
Finish Reading the Entire Bible
Reorganize my Bathroom
Commit to going on Family Walks at least once a week,
Create some New Recipes
Introduce solid foods to my Baby
Start teaching Baby Sign Language in our Home.
Spend more time with my Family and Friends
Do Art Projects with my Baby
Reach 425 Written Blog Posts

This Summer is going to be fun! I can’t wait!!! ☀️

Reblog: To the Grieving Mother on Mother’s Day… This One is for You.

May 6, 2022February 27, 2022 by Kaylee, posted in Just Me Blogging, Life After Miscarriage, Miscarriage, Motherhood, Pregnancy, Trying to Concieve

I wrote this post two years ago, and even though some time has passed since I wrote it, I still feel it is even more relevant today. I will be thinking of all Mommies this Mother’s Day, no matter what motherhood may look like to you. ❤️

It’s Mother’s Day. This is the day we celebrate all the mothers. We celebrate the women In our lives who have raised us, nurtured us and taught us how to be good people in our society. We celebrate the women who showed us unconditional love from the very beginning. This day is meant to be a celebration, but to many… it is a somber holiday.

Being a mother is a very special role. It is one of, if not the hardest jobs there is. That being said not all mothers are the same. When you think of a mother you likely will think of biological moms, step moms, foster moms, moms who have adopted and grandmothers. But what about the other moms in this world? What about the women who hold a mothering role in a child’s life, such as an aunt, cousin, friend, teacher, or mentor. What about the moms who have lost a child, whether it was a pregnancy loss, neonatal loss or loss of a child at an older age?

ALL OF THESE WOMEN ARE JUST AS MUCH MOTHERS, AND HOLD A SPECIAL PLACE IN OUR SOCIETY AND IN A CHILD’S LIFE.

And let’s not forget all the women who want to be mothers. These women may struggle with infertility, illness, are choosing not to have children at this time in their life or suffer from recurrent miscarriages. These women are as much mothers to our society and to children in our world, just in a different way.

This mother’s day is also different as the Covid-19 pandemic has prevented some children from seeing and celebrating their mother’s today. It almost seems as if there is a grief in the air just from the pandemic. I feel that in it self has made this holiday especially somber this year.

Even though this is a holiday to celebrate all the mothers, it is sometimes a somber holiday for those who have lost a child, who are unable to have children, or who have lost their mothers. If you are reading this, and you have lost your mother, lost a child or are unable to have children, I just want to say… I am so sorry for your loss. I’m sorry this holiday brings up emotions of grief, guilt, anger, sadness, anxiety and dread. I’m sorry for the atmosphere of loneliness you feel on this holiday. I want to remind you though that you are not alone. Yes, your experience is yours, but their are so many of us who too have experienced that loss.

THERE ARE SO MANY OF US WHO HAVE FELT THE PAIN THAT CAN BE EXPERIENCED IN THIS LIFE, EVEN THOUGH WE DON’T TALK ABOUT IT.

So today, not only are we celebrating all the traditional mother’s out there, but we are remembering the mothers who have faced loss and heartache as well. I can tell you first hand, this day is not easy, but when the grief and loneliness become too much, remember to take care of you. Don’t have high expectations on yourself. Give yourself grace and love. Order food in, eat some chocolate, take a bubble bath, binge watch a comedy series, or stay in your PJs. Happy or not this day is about you and the love you’ve shared.

Today I will be taking it easy and remembering my babies I’ve lost because even though it hurts, they made me a mom. When the grief gets to be too much today, I will remember that I am not any less a mom because my babies are in Heaven.

I will end with this. It’s Mother’s Day, happy or not this is the day we celebrate and remember all mothers and to all the women who share that role. Thank you for all that you do and love that you’ve shared. I will be thinking of you today.