Making Progress on my Books

Goals, Just Me Blogging

In the midst of this quarantine and stay at home order, I have been busy at work creating my books. I am in the process of creating 3 different books.

The first I started writing is my memoir. This book is the most detailed and is taking me the most time to complete. I am on chapter 7 out of 20 on the first draft. This book is coming along and I am hoping to have it done by Christmas.

My second book is my children’s book about grief and pregnancy loss. This book is in its’ finial stages of the publishing process and will hopefully be done very soon.

My last writing project is a journal of some sort. I’m not entirely sure who my audience is, or what the theme of this journal will be… but we will see. It’s all a work in progress.

Writing and publishing a book has always been a dream of mine. However, with many dreams you must first have patience and put in a lot of hard work. Therefore, it can become very easy to get unmotivated in accomplishing these dreams. There are moments where I feel stagnant, but that will not stop me from reaching my dreams. Like anything else I know all this hard work will eventually pay off.

Out with the Old, and In with the New

Plants, Self Care

Back in the beginning of April I planted some plants. Unfortunately none of them made it due to cold Michigan mornings, lack of sunlight and extra water. So, this past weekend I decided to try again.

This is my mosquito plant, and I shall call him Chester. I have Chester right near my door to hopefully keep the mosquitoes away. Bonus, Chester gives off a lemon-like fragrance that smells oh so fresh.

This is Lilly Lettuce. Lily will hopefully grow up and produce some yummy lettuce for salads and tacos!

This is Harry the cherry tomato plant. Harry is thriving in his watering can pot. I can’t wait to see your yummy tomatoes Harry!

These are my lovely radishes who have already started to sprout. I shall call them the Rebels because they took no time at all to reach their milestones.

These are the Spice Girl peppers new and improved! Let’s see if we can grow some spicy peppers!

This is Henry my BIG tomato plant. Henry has already grown an inch! I’m so proud of you Henry. Can’t wait to see your tomatoes!

This is Clive the Chive. Clive is pretty chill, just growing and smelling like onion.

Albert is back and cooler than ever! Albert is my cilantro plant and I can’t wait until you sprout little buddy!

This is Sandy. I didn’t plant Sandy. I actually found her in a store… and it was love at first sight. Sandy is thriving and she loves the heat!

And here are my flowers, and I will call them Sunshine. I was slightly nervous to plant flowers as I am not a huge fan of bees. But I think having flowers will be a nice touch to our balcony.

Well, there you have it. Those are all my plant babies! Can’t wait to see them grow, grow, GROW!

My Summer 2020 Bucket List

Goals, Self Care

It’s almost Summertime! And that means it is time to set some goals and create my summer bucket list. So, here we go.

My Summer 2020 Bucket List

1. Write and post 200 blog posts… I have about 140 so far.
2. Finish first draft of my memoir.
3. Crochet a large blanket.
4. Grow my plants and produce fruits, veggies and spices.
5. Visit the lake shore…. at least once.
6. Apply and receive my Family Life Education certification.
7. Have a Game Night with friends.
8. Buy a coffee table for my living room.
9. Create and commit to a yoga routine.
10. Create and publish a children’s book.

Deadline for meeting these goals: August 30th, 2020

Go Back to School and Get a Bachelor’s Degree… ✔️

Goals

Guess what!?!?… I finally did it! I graduated college and received my Bachelor’s degree! I now hold an Associate’s degree in General Studies, an Associate’s degree in Early Childhood Education and a Bachelor’s degree in Child and Family Development.

It has taken me 7 years total to complete my college journey. I spent 3 years at community college, took a gap year and 3 years at a university. To be honest, I thought I was going to be in college… FOREVER. And I can’t tell you how thankful I am to be done.

I went through a lot of changes through these last 7 years. I fell in love, got engaged and got married. I worked numerous jobs including receptionist, food service, and lead teacher. I also received scholarships, rewards, dean’s list recognition, and participated in student organizations. I endured a lot of hardships including depression, anxiety, financial challenges, miscarriages, surgery, and grief. Lastly, I made long lasting friendships, received so much love and support from family, learned life long lessons and received a wonderful education.

So many times I wanted quit. So many times I wanted to throw it all away. So many times I thought it was too hard and I just wasn’t made for college. But I didn’t quit. I didn’t give up. I kept pushing forward and I reached my goal. It was’t easy… but I did it.

As many of you know, due to this whole coronavirus pandemic, many graduation ceremonies were cancelled or postponed… including mine. On my graduation day, I proudly put on my cap and gown, and drove to see my family. I sat in the car and they saw me from a distance. I’m thankful they were able to see me on my graduation day.

When we got home, my hubby took pictures and made me a wonderful graduation dinner. Though this day wasn’t anything like I had expected, and I was slightly bummed I wasn’t able to participate in a ceremony with my class; I’m still thankful I was able to celebrate and make the most out of this day.

So it’s official. I did it. I still can’t believe it. I’m officially a college graduate! 🎓

My Living Room Reveal!

Home Decor

My living room is probably my favorite place in the apartment, at the moment. I absolutely love the layout, the sliding glass door, the natural lighting, and the fireplace! It has been so much fun to be able to decorate this part of our home, as I have been able to add some new decor!

In our previous apartments, I have never had so much natural lighting and never have had luck in growing plants. However, since this whole quarantine business, I have an abundance of time and natural lighting for my precious plant babies. Everyday I place my plants out on my balcony to get some sun light, and every evening I bring them in before they get cold. If it’s too cold during the day, I set them near the sliding glass door window to get their sun light. Having a sliding glass door off the livingroom has really been a blessing.

As of right now we are still using my trunk as a table, but I am hoping once the pandemic has passed, we can purchase a new coffee table (I’ll keep you posted :D) We recently purchased our two maps of NYC and Paris from Target. They were on clearance for $8! What a great deal!

The fireplace, as I mentioned is one of my favorites! I also love my gorgeous palm tree named Sandy. She adds just the right touch to our home ❤️. One last piece of home decor I truly appreciate is the large cross that we have hung over our fireplace. This was a wedding gift from a dear friend of mine, and it says “Faith, Hope and Love are some good things He gave us… but the greatest of these is Love.”

There you have it! Let me know what you think of my living room by dropping a comment! ⬇️

My Bedroom Reveal!

Home Decor, Just Me Blogging

Tackling my bedroom was actually easier than I thought. I absolutely love the extra space and how it immediately felt like home!

Decorating my bedroom has been super enjoyable. I was able to incorporate some old decor, as well as add a touch of new! I absolutely love the natural lighting, compared to our old home. When we moved we were able to purchase some new lamps from Target, and a comforter from Home Goods. Sadly, our comforter is on back order until this whole virus business is over, so the old comforter will have to do for now. I am also excited I now have room to display some photos of our loved ones in our bedroom.

My tapestry is one of my favorite things in our bedroom. It used to be in our old living room, but I find that it fits better in here. It’s so rustic and tranquil that it almost makes me feel like I am in a peaceful part of the woods.

Well there you have it! I hope you enjoyed my bedroom reveal! What room would you like to see next? Kitchen? Living room? Closets? Let me know!

My Challenge Working in a Nursery

Life After Miscarriage

You’d think that it would be unbearable to work in a nursery after losing two babies… but that’s actually not the case.

I work in a nursery approximately three Sundays a month. During this time we play with kids, have entertaining conversations and even create some beautiful works of art through arts and crafts. It’s fun. When I’m with kids, I rarely am sad about my kids. It’s interesting. Instead of being sad about loss, I just feel joy. I feel joy when I’m around kids, and I always have. Even when I visit friends with kids, I feel so blessed to be able to watch them parent, and watch these children grow into beautiful people.

So, my challenge of working in a nursery…. isn’t what you think. It’s not challenging because I am working with kids. It’s challenging because I feel joy, and I don’t know if that’s okay. Is okay that I’m not sad about my babies every second of every day? Is it okay I find moments to laugh, moments to be happy, and moments to live? Is it okay? I believe it is. I know, my babies would want me to be happy. I will ALWAYS miss them. I will ALWAYS love them, but I also know it’s okay to have a little joy.

Counseling & Sea Glass

Just Me Blogging

As many of you know, I spent a handful of hours in counseling last year after my first miscarriage. Through counseling I was able to develop coping skills such as self talk, reflection, and anxiety management. I was in counseling approximately once a week from March to July. At the end of June I essentially “graduated” from counseling for awhile until I felt a need to return.

Since coming back to counseling after suffering my second miscarriage at the end of September; I have begun to rebuild the skills I had started to lose. This time around in counseling, not only have I gone more in-depth about grief and advocacy but also on how I can be in the NOW. As a student, planner, organization freak and perfectionist, I take pride in planning the future. Planning helps me prepare for change, and also prepare if things don’t go as planned. However, I really struggle with living in the NOW. I have lost that feeling, and that state of just being.

My counselor, who is a AMAZING I might add; had an idea for myself, and other students just like me. In her office she has on her desk a bowl of sea glass. Each piece of sea glass is different. Some are round. Some are rough. Some have cracks in them. Some are shaped like diamonds. Each piece is unique for each person. My counselor allowed each one of her students to take a piece of sea glass to hold on too. She explained to me that we as people need something tangible. We need something to hold on to. We need something to ground us.

So, everyday I carry with me my little piece of sea glass. I reach into my pocket and feel the smooth diamond shape. Sometimes I pull it out of my pocket and admire its’ little crack in the center. This crack reminds me of myself, in the sense that I’m scarred but I’m not broken. It is a wonderful, real item that I feel, and serves as a reminder that it is okay to live in the now.

My Goals for 2020

Goals, Just Me Blogging, Self Care

It’s a new year, new decade and new chapter. As I consider last year to be a year of grief and growth, I believe this year will be a year of strength and serenity. This year is going to be different. I am praying for it. I believe it, and I am speaking it into existence.

Even though life is unpredictable and we don’t always know what’s around the corner, I do have a few goals I will strive to accomplish.

1. Graduate with my Bachelor’s of Science Degree in Child and Family Development.

2. Complete my certification as a Family Life Educator

3. Publish my Memoir

4. Move to a New Home

5. Pay off my Car

6. Get Certification as a Life Coach

7. Get a Pet.

Let’s Do This!!!

A Recap of 2019

Just Me Blogging

What can I say about 2019? This year has been life changing, hard, emotional, shocking, grief stricken, crazy, a whirlwind, encouraging and just down right challenging. Regardless, of the fact that the bad often out weighed the good, I’m thankful. Another year is in the books. I would like to take a moment and take a look back at my 2019.

In January…

I found out I was pregnant

I started my first internship at a government agency.

I became president of a student organization.

In February…

I saw my baby on ultrasound

I suffered my first miscarriage

I had a D & C

I switched internship sites, and started interning for the Sexual Assault Awareness Campaign on campus.

In March…

March is a blur.

I recovered physically from surgery.

Emotionally I was in a fog.

In April…

I presented on Trauma in my internship.

I received the Healing and Growth Award at my internship.

Started my Blog!!!

In May…

I celebrated my first Mother’s Day

I took a getaway to the lake shore with my husband.

I completed my internship.

In June…

Got diagnosed with hypothyroidism

Committed to a Summer of Self care

Started another internship

Reopened my Etsy Shop.

In July…

Published for the first time, my story in a magazine.

In August…

Started working out regularly.

Started my senior year of college.

Attended a University football game.

In September…

Got pregnant for the second time.

Honored my due date

Took a weekend trip to the cabin with my girls

Suffered a second miscarriage.

In October…

Started writing my book.

Became temporarily anemic

Celebrated Pregnancy and Infant Loss Rememberance Day.

Hubby got in a car accident.

Applied and got approved for graduation in April 2020.

In November…

Decorated for Christmas

Hosted a Friendsgiving with my college friends.

Celebrated 3 years of marriage.

Cooked my first Thanksgiving dinner for my husband and I.

Presented a speech on miscarriage.

In December…

Finished my second to last semester of college.

Got another car.


All in all, this year has been a little crazy. I pray that the new decade and new year is sweeter, and smoother for everyone.

Our Christmas Tradition

Just Me Blogging

Merry Christmas Eve Friends! I can’t believe it’s already the 24th of December. This month is flying by! Every Christmas my husband Charlie and I share a little Christmas tradition.

Have any of you ever seen the classic movie A Christmas Story? In my family, I was raised watching this movie every Christmas. It is an old and corky classic, that you can’t help but love. There are many scenes in this movie you might be familiar with, even if you haven’t watched the movie from beginning to end. For instance the dad cusses like a sailor, and the furnace is always malfunctioning. Or the youngest son in the movie gets wrapped in too many layers of snow gear by his mom, and is temporarily stuck in a T shaped position until he makes it to school. Or how about how the oldest son Ralphy is given a bright pink bunny suit from an auntie for Christmas… and later gets a BB gun and gets struck by an icicle. There are a lot of great scenes from this Christmas classic, and I don’t want to spoil it if you haven’t seen it. But my favorite part of the movie is when the neighbor’s Rottweilers stampede through the family kitchen and destroy Christmas dinner. It’s sad for only a moment, until the family decides to go out for Chinese food for Christmas dinner instead.

That is where our tradition got started. A few years ago, my parents and I would get Chinese food for Christmas dinner. When I married my husband in 2016, we continued the tradition. Sometimes we get Chinese food on Christmas Eve and sometimes on Christmas Day. It all really depends on when the Chinese restaurants close and how things play out each year. This year I have a feeling we will be enjoying our Chinese food tonight, and enjoy any leftovers on Christmas Day.


What are your Christmas traditions?


Merry Christmas Friends! I wish you all a safe and happy holiday

My Top 10 Favorite Inspirational Quotes

Self Care, Top 10 Lists

1. “Act as if what you do makes a difference, it does.” – William James

2. “Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment, until it becomes a memory.” – Dr. Seuss

3. “ Instead of letting your hardships and failures discourage or exhaust you, let them inspire you.” – Michelle Obama

4. Grief is a privileged portal into soul work and transformation.” – Richard Rohr

5. “Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” – Benjamin Franklin

6. “All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.” – Walt Disney

7. “You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.“ – Cayla Mills

8. “She remembered who she was and the game changed.” – Lalah Delilah

9. “Be a rainbow in someone else’s cloud. “ – Maya Angelou

10. “Life is like a camera. You focus on what’s important, capture the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don’t work out… take another shot.” – Author Unknown

I’m Not Sure How to Survive the Holidays with Grief in my Heart

Life After Miscarriage

To be honest, I’m not feeling very festive this Christmas. This past year has been a tidal wave of grief that I didn’t plan for, nor did I appreciate. On top of grief I’ve had other struggles including anxiety, depression, weight gain, self doubt and distress. Some might say this past year has made me stronger, and in many ways I believe that. But in this moment, this past year has only made me hate life.

When you’ve faced trauma, something changes in you. You see things differently, and you know things can get worse because you’ve lived it. When you’ve faced repeated trauma, not only are you traumatized, but also on edge. You’re just waiting for something bad to happen, or something else to go wrong. It’s exhausting, but if you’ve already been blindsided by trauma before, it’s almost an illogical effort to worry and fret for the bad things, in hopes that you will be somewhat prepared if they happen. I have lived this way almost every day this past year, and it’s really not anyway to live.


This Christmas was supposed to be different.


I have thought about Mackenzie everyday since she’s been gone. Losing her, has changed my life forever. She made me a mom. Even more, she made me an Angel mommy. This year I envisioned caring for an infant at Christmas time. Charles and I would head over to my parents on Christmas morning. She would be spoiled by her Grandma, and cooing at the cats and her Grandpa. She would be wearing the cutest Christmas jammies, and be smiling from ear to ear. Everything was going to be perfect as I celebrated my first Christmas as a mom.

Instead this year, I am celebrating Christmas as an Angel mommy. My baby Mackenzie will not be in her Christmas jammies, and my baby Chase will not be warm in my tummy. Instead I will be here loving and missing my babies, while Mackenzie and Chase will be in Heaven celebrating at Jesus’s grand birthday party. They will be having more fun than I can even fathom. As much as I want them here with me, I know they are safe and happy right where they are.

It won’t be easy… It won’t be easy this Christmas seeing friends and their baby’s first Christmas. But no one said this life will be easy. No one said we are all meant to take the same journey. And no said this world is prefect. So through my tears and heartache, I will get through this Christmas with my family, because my babies deserve to see me have joy my first Christmas as their mom. ❤️

My “Feel Good” Playlist

Just Me Blogging, Top 10 Lists

My Feel Good Playlist

1. Keep You’re Head Up – by Andy Grammer

2. How Far I’ll Go – by Auil’i Cravalho

3. I Gotta Feeling – by Black Eyed Peas

4. Just the Way You Are – by Bruno Mars

5. Fallin’ for You – by Collbie Caillat

6. Tell Me You Love Me – by Demi Lovato

7. Perfect – by Ed Sheeran

8. How to Save a Life – by The Fray

9. Come to Me – by Jamie Grace

10. I Won’t Give Up – by Jason Miraz

11. Say – by John Mayer

12. Good Morning – by Mandisa

13. Uptown Funk – by Bruno Mars

14. She Will Be Loved – by Maroon 5

15. Shake It Off – by Taylor Swift

I am Thankful… 30 Things I am Thankful for.

Just Me Blogging

It is officially November 1st! I can.t believe it. Time is sure flying by! It will be Thanksgiving before you know it. 🙂 Since it is November 1st, I have decided to write 30 things I am thankful for. Here we go……

1. Fall Colors and Changing Leaves 🍁

2. Pumpkin Spice EVERYTHING! 🎃

3. My Parents ❤️

4. My Home 🏠

5. My Husband ❤️

6. Doughnuts 🍩

7. My Education… I’m Almost Done! 📚

8. My Job 💻

9. My Health 🍎

10. My Readers of My Blog ❤️

11. My Family ❤️

12. Medical Insurance ✝️

13. Nature 🌳

14. Michigan 🥧

15. Communication ☎️

16. New Recipes 🍰

17. My Angel Mackenzie ❤️

18. PJs 👚

19. Rainy Days ☔️

20. Buffalo Wings 🍗

21. Thanksgiving 🐔

22. Warm Blankets 🧶

23. My Friends ❤️

24. Netflix 📺

25. Coffee ☕️

26. Pumpkins 🎃

27. Jesus ✝️

28. Faith ✝️

29. New Clothes 👗

30. Our New Little Blessing ❤️