She Believed She Could…

This past year, and actually since starting my blog I have developed various goals for myself that are a mixture of personal and professional goals. If you’ve been following me for a while, you know that each year I create goals that I hope to accomplish by New Year’s Eve and a Summer Bucket List of goals I hope to accomplish in the summer. If you don’t know what I am talking about, then head over to my blog post….

My Goals for 2021

One goal I am trying so incredibly hard to accomplish is writing and publishing my memoir. My memoir was an idea that first came to light the day after my second miscarriage, in September of 2019. After suffering my first loss, I felt led to start a blog… this blog in fact :). After my second loss, I realized there was more to my story and my grief that needed to be done. I realized that I have a gift of writing and since suffering two losses, though it was devastating… my circumstances had then given me the chance to expand my story and share with others my story, in order to help women like me. My circumstances, my grief and my passion is what drove me to write my book.

I have officially written the first draft of my book and currently working on the second. It’s small, raw, detailed, sad, but powerful… and I’m very proud of it.

I will be keeping you all updated as I continue to make the final touches to my book and begin the self publishing process!

Our Love Story (Part 4)

On Monday November 3rd, I was a mixture of anxious and excited to see Charles. Everything in me had hopes that Charles was feeling the same way I was, and wanted to start a romantic relationship. But there was still a small part of me that feared that he just wanted to be friends.

After my first class Monday morning, I met up with Charles in the main hallway of our community college. Seeing Charles with a huge smile on his face gave me immense butterflies. I was falling in love with him minute by minute.

We sat down in the student center and discussed everything that we had already talked about over the weekend. We talked about any previous relationships we had had, what we wanted out of a romantic relationship and our intentions. We discussed boundaries, values, expectations a potential timeline and anything and everything in between. We then decided to take a day to think about everything we discussed as well as pray about it, before moving forward and officially start dating.


On Tuesday November 4th, Charles and I met in the cafe of our community college before Spanish class. Charles asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes and we officially entered into a courtship (dating with the intention of marriage). We decided we did not want to rush things. We didn’t want to immediately say I Love You, hold hands or be too close. We also wanted to save our first kiss for if and when we got married. Together we decided we wanted to use this time to get to know each other, grow closer to God and be the best people we could be in school, in our families and in our relationship.

After we made it official, we gave each other a hug, took a selfie, bought two frappes and walked to Spanish completely head over heels.


About two weeks later, Charles invited me to celebrate Thanksgiving with his family. Even though it was casual, I was very nervous for this family gathering. I decided to bring a plate of brownies to the meal, in hopes that it would help to make a good first impression to his family.

Charles was living at his Pastor’s house at the time we started dating. When I arrived and met his pastor, I instantly felt welcomed and at home. Throughout the day I was also able to meet his nieces and nephews as well as his sister and other close family friends.

At this family gathering, I was able to get a little taste of an old fashioned southern Thanksgiving. The food was amazing. There was fried chicken, turkey, ham, cabbage, black eyed peas, macaroni and cheese, corn, and mashed potatoes. It was amazing. The best part of the day was his nieces and nephews. My brownies were a huge hit with his family and even one of his nephews said they were “divine”

Celebrating our first holiday together was a lot of fun, and definitely one for the books.

How to Wind Down on a Sunday Night ✨

Monday through Friday, work 8 – 5pm. On Saturdays catch up on house work and errands, maybe take a nap if there’s time. Sunday do absolutely nothing if you can besides watch a virtual church service and catch up on your latest drama on Netflix. If you’re like me, this too is what your life looks like in a nutshell, week to week. For me, I am usually feeling the stress and slight dread of Monday by 4pm. I start to think about if my uniform is clean, if I have anything to pack for lunch the next day, if my lesson plans are all set and ready for the week, and if there is anything else I am forgetting. I also consider if there is anything that I can do to wind down and relax so I am ready for Monday. I will be honest with you though… I sometimes push off my selfcare in order to be productive, which I sometimes end up regretting. Regardless, I am here to assist you in how to wind down and rest on a Sunday night, as well as take my own advice; in order to be ready and refreshed for the week ahead.

I know it may sound tedious, but in order to help me wind down on Sunday and actually set aside time for self care, I create a schedule. I get it, I do… it may sound like more work and stress to create a schedule, but it will honestly help in the long run. Orginally, I used to rely on sticking notes that I would use to jot down my to do lists on Saturday evening. But now, I have created a very neat and organized schedule I use for Sundays.

Here is an example of the organized schedule I use. In this schedule I created an area for my to do lists, and I have divided it into morning, afternoon and evening tasks. I also have a section for various self care areas I hope to focus on throughout my Sunday. Sometimes, life is crazy and I’m not always able to devote each area of self care, but I try to focus on at least 3. Lastly, there is an area for a deadline in which I hope to get things done for the day, as well as reflection questions.

I will say that planning and scheduling out each part of the day isn’t for everyone. Some people find it more stressful, while others find it very helpful. Either way, I hope this tool helps in some way. For me personally, I absolutely love seeing everything I need to get done in black and white. As I am able to get them done, I also find it so satisfying to be able to cross things off my check list and keep going throughout my day. Sometimes life gets repetitive and hard. We all need a little reminder now and then that it is okay to stop and take care of you. So please do whatever helps make you feel good, rested and refreshed for the week ahead.

If you are interested in using the My Sunday Schedule template, Click below to Download the PDF. ⬇️⬇️⬇️

Roasted Chickpeas Recipe

Roasted Chickpeas is one of my new favorite little snacks. They are not only a great source of protein, but also help curve that craving for a salty snack.

What You Need…

1. 2 Cans of Chickpeas (I buy mine at Walmart)

2. Olive Oil

3. 8 x 8 size Pan (or something similar)

4. Cajun Spice

5. Garlic Salt

6. Paper Towels

What You Do….

First, preheat the oven to 350°.

Next, place a double layer of paper towel on the counter.

Open the cans of chickpeas and drain the water.

Gently dump the chickpeas onto the paper towel.

Spread the chickpeas out evenly on the paper towel.

Place another paper towel over the chickpeas to soak up the remaining water. The chickpeas have to be as dry as possible so that they are crunchy once they are cooked.

Once dry, place the chickpeas in the pan.

Drizzle olive oil across the top of the chick peas, just enough that all the chick peas have oil.

Place in oven and cook for 20-25 minutes.

Once done, pull out of the oven and sprinkle cajun and garlic salt on the chickpeas immediately.

Note: If you prefer to use other spices on the chickpeas that is fine too! Chickpeas taste great on salads, as a side or even as a little snack!

Let cool and enjoy!

Another Look at my Homemade Stir Fry Recipe!

Homemade stir-fry is one of my favorite meals to make, because it’s so easy. Like many of the recipes I have shared, part of what makes it easy is that you can generally use vegetables and spices you already have at home. 

INGREDIENTS 

Olive Oil (4 tablespoons)

Brown Sugar (1/3 Cup) 

Thai or Asian Noodles (Ramen Noodles work too) 

Soy Sauce (2 tablespoons) 

Garlic (1/2 a clove) 

Ground Ginger (3 Dashes) 

Black Pepper (3 Dashes)

Oregano (3 Dashes)

Basil (3 Dashes)

Any Veggies of your choice! Ex: Celery, mushrooms, onion, peppers, carrots, broccoli, fresh cilantro etc. 

WHAT YOU DO…

1. First, fill a medium size saucepan of 2/3 of water and bring it to a boil. Once water is boiling, add noodles of your choice. My favorite kind of noodles to use are the Thai brand stir-fry noodles that can be found at Walmart. 

2. Next, pull out a cutting board and chop any veggies you would like to include in the dish. 

3. Put 2 tablespoons of olive oil into a frying pan and place on medium heat. 

4. Add chopped up vegetables, and brown sugar to frying pan. Cook until veggies begin to turn brown and dark.

5. Once noodles are soft, remove from heat and drain noodles. Place noodles in a bowl. 

6. Add 2 tablespoons of olive oil over noodles. Remove sautéed veggies from heat and place over noodles. Add additional spices including oregano, garlic, basil, ground ginger and black pepper. Add soy sauce, stir noodles and enjoy. 💕

Now Available! Mackenzie Goes to Heaven Children’s Book and Coloring Book!

Mackenzie Goes to Heaven is a children’s book, created for families who have gone through a pregnancy loss. It is designed to teach siblings and other children about the concept of miscarriage and how it affects a family, in a child friendly way.

Now, I have also created a coloring book to accompany this gentle children’s book.

Mackenzie Goes to Heaven Children’s Book is available for $7.70 + Shipping and Mackenzie Goes to Heaven Coloring Book is $5.00 + Shipping! Digital and Paperback copies are available.

Order Now!

Do You Think Dreams Are Signs From Above?

For the last few weeks, I have been having some crazy, comforting and vivid dreams. Now I know a lot people these days have been having weird dreams, but I have to wonder if the dreams I have been having have a deeper meaning.

At the beginning of December, I had a dream I was in my bathroom taking a pregnancy test. I stared at the test and waited for it to show a result. I watched as two bright pink lines showed up on the test, and I got so excited…. then I woke up and I was disappointed because it was a dream.

About a week later I had another dream that I again was taking pregnancy tests in my bathroom. I had a whole pile of them on my counter and they were all positive.

Near Christmas, I had a dream I was pregnant, and I looked down at my feet and I couldn’t see them. My big belly was in the way. I woke up confused and checked my belly, nope not pregnant.

On Christmas Eve I had a dream Charles and I had a baby girl. We named her Mercy. I’m not entirely sure why, but we did. In the dream I was wearing a necklace with an M on it. I woke up and told Charles. He wasn’t entirely sold on naming our kid Mercy as a first name, but he wasn’t against a middle name.

On New Year’s Eve, I had a dream I was walking through the woods. I reached the edge of the woods and entered a valley. Above the valley was a bright and beautiful rainbow. It was so beautiful I started screaming and crying. I was so overjoyed, then I woke up.

These dreams are so interesting, and I have to wonder if I am just obsessing over having babies or are these actually signs from above? Maybe, and maybe not. Only time will tell I suppose.

Now Available! Mackenzie Goes to Heaven Children’s Book

Mackenzie Goes to Heaven is a children’s book, created for families who have gone through a pregnancy loss. It is designed to teach siblings and other children about the concept of miscarriage and how it affects a family, in a child friendly way.

Not only is this story about a mother who suffers a pregnancy loss, but the characters in the book are also named after my angel babies Mackenzie and Chase, as well as my brother Matthew who passed away as an infant.

Mackenzie Goes to Heaven is available for $7.70 + Shipping HERE. Digital and Paperback copies are available.

Homemade Fried Chicken Drummies Recipe

This past fall, my husband and I were given an air fryer for our anniversary. I had no idea what I was missing out on. If you don’t have an air fryer, you should really get one. If you like crispy french fries, yummy chicken wings, or fried pickles… get you an air fryer.

Anyway, the whole point of this post wasn’t to talk about how much I love my air fryer. I actually wanted to talk about how I make fried chicken… in the air fryer. So my air fryer is relatively small as it only feeds 1-2 people. But there are a variety of different air fryers if you choose to buy one.

Here is how I made my Fried Chicken Drummies…

What You Need…

  • 4 Drumsticks, raw and thawed
  • Air fryer
  • Chilli Powder
  • Red Pepper Flakes
  • Garlic Salt
  • Basil
  • Oregano
  • Black Pepper
  • Ranch

What You Do

First read the directions to your air fryer and set it up the way that it says. For my air fryer, it instructs me to plug it in and make sure there are no objects around it. Next it recommends I preheat the air fryer to 350° for 5 minutes.

Next I place 2 – 4 chicken drmsticks in the air fryer and cook them for 10 minutes.

After 10 minutes, I pull the drummies out and rotate them using a set of tongs. I then place them in the air fryer for another 10 minutes.

I repeat this process again a third time.

After the chicken has cooked for a total of 30 minutes, I rotate the chicken for the last time. I then sprinkle chilli powder, red pepper flakes, garlic salt, basil, oregano, black pepper and season to taste.

I then cook the chicken drummies for an additional 8 minutes,

Once the chicken drummies are done, I pour myself a side of ranch dressing and enjoy my homemade spicy dry rub fried chicken.

My Goals for 2021

Finally, a new year. I don’t think anyone expected 2020 to go the way it did. When thousands of people were creating goals last January 1st, I’m sure none of them expected a global pandemic, a deadly sickness called the Corona virus, distance learning, state shut downs and the everyday wearing of face masks. None the less, it is officially 2021. We made it to another year.

I pray that this year is a 100 times better than last year in every way. And if not, I pray that through any struggle we may face, I pray we are able to learn and make the most of every situation.

This year I have written down 10 goals that I hope to complete in the year 2021.

My Goals for 2021

  • Publish My Memoir
  • Pay Off My Car
  • Recieve My FLE Certification
  • Lose 20 lbs.
  • Buy A New Car
  • Publish a Second Children’s Book
  • Read The Entire Bible
  • Publish a Self Care Journal
  • Pay Off My Credit Card
  • Start a Family

My deadline to complete these goals is December 31st, 2021 at midnight. Let the first page of this 365 page book begin!

A Recap of 2020

2020 was a year many thought would be a fresh start. It was the beginning of a new decade and a year for clear vision.,, or so we thought. But instead we were all taken for a loop by this deadly sickness called the Corona virus. In many people there was sheer panic and anxiety, and not long after the way we once lived our lives was no longer. We went from having the freedom to socialize with anyone and everyone, to being instructed to remain 6 feet apart with anyone out side our household. We were required to wear masks everywhere, and no longer had the freedom to dine in restaurants. Students as young as kindergarten and as old as college were forced to complete their studies strictly online.

This year has been anxiety inducing, confusing, exhausting, unpredictable and unexpected. But despite all of that, we have all had the chance at putting things into perspective. With a variety of shut downs and quarantines we have had more opportunities to spend quality time with our immediate families. We have learned to appreciate the time and moments we shared because they are precious, and the future is not promised.

For me personally, this year has been rough, but I have been given a lot blessings as well. This was a big year for me despite the craziness. Today I would like to reflect on 2020, the ups and downs, the blessings and challenges and everything in between.

Recap of My Goals for 2020

  • Graduate with my Bachelor’s degree in Child and Family Development. ✔️
  • Pay off my Car ✖️
  • Recieve my Certification in Family Life Education ✖️
  • Get a Pet ✔️
  • Publish my Memoir ✖️
  • Move to a New Home ✔️
  • Get Certified as a Life Coach ✖️

Recap of 2020

January

  • I started my last semester of college.
  • Started taking Plexus daily.

February

  • I started revamping my resume and applying to various jobs for after I would graduate.

March

  • I started a new job as a Lead Preschool Teacher.
  • Covid – 19 hit the US and life as we knew it changed.
  • We moved to our new apartment.

April

  • I finished my last semester of college.
  • My state and pretty much the country was forced into an immediate say-at-home order.
  • I graduated with my Bachelor’s of Science degree in Child and Family Development.

May

  • I returned back to work after being laid off.
  • I redecorated my new apartment.
  • I celebrated my 2nd Mother’s Day and Teacher Appreciation Week.
  • I honored my Due Date for my 2nd baby.
  • Charles and I started trying again.

June

  • I went to the cabin with my best friend Alli.
  • Started swimming and enjoying the beautiful summer weather.
  • My husband got a new job.

July

  • I published my first children’s book, Mackenzie Goes to Heaven.
  • I adopted a kitten and named him Rocky.

August

  • I turned 25.
  • I continued digging deep and working on my memoir.
  • I grew 9 plants on my balcony.

September

  • I hit 6 months of working at my job.
  • Charles and discussed and decided to pursue adoption.

October

  • I reached 150 followers on my blog.
  • I hit 25 sales on my children’s book.

November

  • I was named teacher of the month at my Job.

December

  • I did some goal setting for the year ahead.

2020 was crazy and definitely a year of change. Moving forward I predict 2021 will bring it’s own set of challenges and blessings. 💕

Happy New Year Friends!

My Cowboy Salsa Recipe

Check out this recipe!!!

When I say Cowboy Salsa is good… I am not kidding! It’s amazing and it’s healthy!

Ingredients

1 Can of Black Beans

1 Can of Black Eyed Peas

1 Can of Whole Kerrneled Corn

2/3 Cup Chopped Cilantro

2/3 Cup Chopped Green Onion

2 Avocados

1/4 Cup of Olive Oil

1/4 Cup Red Wine Vinegar

Salt

Black Pepper

Red Pepper Flakes

Tortilla Chips

What To Do…

Drain and rinse black beans, whole kerneled corn, and black eyed peas.

Dice avocados

Mix all ingredients into a bowl

Salt and Pepper to tase.

Add red pepper flakes if desired.

Eat immediately or store in fridge for a half hour.

Serve with tortilla chips and enjoy!

Another Negative

I have tossed around the idea of posting this photo. I have contemplated if I should even write a blog post about this particular topic as it is so incredibly personal. I have weighed the pros and cons of this post and decided on this. On my blog I have always been real and raw when it comes to my life, my challenges and my grief. Over the last twoish years I have shared the details of my grief and miscarriages because it not only helped me heal and process the trauma of that season in my life, but I knew one day my story could help someone else. Therefore, if I share my stories of pregnancy loss, then I can also share my challenges of trying to concieve and start a family.

Last May around Mother’s Day, Charles and I decided we again wanted to try and start a family. It had been 8 months since our second miscarriage and though I don’t think we can ever fully heal from a loss such as this, we both have gained a lot of growth, wisdom and strength from suffering two losses. So in May we decided to start trying again.

When deciding to try again, we discussed how we did not want to obsess over trying to get pregnant. Rather we were just going to allow what ever happen to happen. I wasn’t going to track my temp or track my ovulation. We decided we were going to try and live our lives and allow God to move when He sees fit.

In September, after 4 months of trying and no luck, Charles and I looked into adoption. The desire to become parents in the last few years has grown so strong, and we both love the idea of conceiving our own healthy baby, or adopting a child. Since September we have continued to research the option of adoption and have found there are a few steps we would need to complete before going any further. So in some ways we are at a stand still.

This past month we reached 6 months of trying. And I was convinced that I was pregnant. I was super hungry, tired, had a cold, emotional, my boobs hurt, my hips hurt, I had some cramping that was different than my normal period cramping, headaches and I was three days late. I hoped and prayed that I was pregnant as it would have been a sweet ending to a crazy year. But that wasn’t the case. Another negative yet again.

The day I took the test I was down, defeated and devastated. But as I write this over a week later, I realize that it was for the best. I don’t know why, but I know it wasn’t meant to be right now. Since my second miscarriage I have asked God to please not let me get pregnant unless I am pregnant with a healthy baby. And so, since getting another negative I look at it that way. As much as not getting pregnant right now is hard, it’s not as devastating for me as it would be to lose another baby.

I keep thinking God just wants me to do more, before having kids. Maybe that’s publishing my memoir. Maybe that’s moving up at my job. Maybe it’s making money through my blog. And maybe it’s just sharing my story with all of you. I don’t know the reason. But I know that I’m not in control. As scary as it is, I want to have a baby. I want to be a mom to a baby here on earth. But I know that if that stick had two lines, I would have been happy, but not excited.

When you’ve suffered a loss, getting pregnant again feels different. Since you’ve already had the worst happen, you’re extra cautious and it’s always in the back of your mind. Is it going to happen again? Am I going to lose this pregnancy? Will this be a healthy baby? Only God knows the answers to those questions. And only time will tell what’s in store for us.

For now, I am going to do my best to keep living my life, teaching preschoolers, loving my family, writing, and appreciating the little things. ❤️