BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!… Now Available: Mackenzie Goes to Heaven Children’s Book

It’s finally here! I have officially written, illustrated and published my very first children’s book! To say I’m excited is certainly an understatement! Mackenzie Goes to Heaven is a children’s book, created for families who have gone through a pregnancy loss. It is designed to teach siblings and other children about the concept of miscarriageContinue reading “BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!… Now Available: Mackenzie Goes to Heaven Children’s Book”

20 Things to Accomplish Before I Turn 30

As many of you know, I am super big on goal setting. I love setting goals for myself, and doing my best in trying to reach them. Recently, I was looking on Pinterest to see if I could find some inspiration of what to write, and this topic came up. I am always setting summerContinue reading “20 Things to Accomplish Before I Turn 30”

When the Going Gets Tough… How I Handle Pregnancy Announcements

Pregnancy announcements… something that is supposed to be happy can hurt so badly. I know I am not alone when I say that pregnancy announcements are hard to handle, especially if you have suffered a loss or you struggle to get pregnant. In many ways you want to be happy for the people who haveContinue reading “When the Going Gets Tough… How I Handle Pregnancy Announcements”

Pennies from Heaven

Growing up, I had always been familiar with the concept of Heaven and faith. Having an older brother who died as an infant, is what first introduced me to faith. Later in life, of course I had grandparents, and acquaintances who passed on as well, and though it was sad, these moments built my faith.Continue reading “Pennies from Heaven”

Missing You A lot These Days…

May 13th, 2020. Three days after Mother’s Day. This day had never been so important to me, until I found I was pregnant for a second time. Looking at that second line on a pregnancy test on a late September evening, I thought “This is it. This is my rainbow baby. Thank you Jesus” MyContinue reading “Missing You A lot These Days…”

It’s Okay To Not Be Okay

It’s okay to not be okay… and today I am not okay. A year ago today I was happy. I went to a doctor appointment that I thought would leave me joyous and thankful. Instead it left me with every emotion imaginable, and this is when my grief first began. I was 11 weeks pregnant.Continue reading “It’s Okay To Not Be Okay”

New Possibilities

No, this is not a pregnancy announcement or a trying to conceive announcement. This isn’t an announcement at all, but rather a vision for new opportunities. I love having friends and family who know me. I love having these people in my life who take the time to listen and care for my needs andContinue reading “New Possibilities”

I’m Not Sure How to Survive the Holidays with Grief in my Heart

To be honest, I’m not feeling very festive this Christmas. This past year has been a tidal wave of grief that I didn’t plan for, nor did I appreciate. On top of grief I’ve had other struggles including anxiety, depression, weight gain, self doubt and distress. Some might say this past year has made meContinue reading “I’m Not Sure How to Survive the Holidays with Grief in my Heart”

When the Grief Hits You All at Once…

The day I lost Mackenzie, I immediately felt grief, heartache and denial. The day I lost Chase, I only felt sadness and denial. Having a natural miscarriage was a lot different than having a D & C. With a D & C you don’t see anything. You are sleeping and not traumatized by what youContinue reading “When the Grief Hits You All at Once…”

My Worst Fear… Again

The following post is my story of how I experienced my second miscarriage. In this post I show vulnerability in retelling my second loss. I also share details in my miscarriage, so I do want to offer a TRIGGER WARNING before anyone begins reading my post. Please feel free to stop reading, and take careContinue reading “My Worst Fear… Again”

A Scare at 7 Weeks and 3 Days

Saturday September 28th, was supposed to be a very relaxing day. I didn’t have any plans that day except for studying and relaxing at home. I spent the morning in my pjs, drinking decaf coffee and catching up on some reading. Charles headed to our university’s football game and hung out with friends. I feltContinue reading “A Scare at 7 Weeks and 3 Days”

7 Weeks Pregnant

At 7 weeks pregnant… I started to feel better. My nausea started to subside, and food was starting to appeal to me again. I think that since I had already experienced a loss, this symptom made me really nervous and anxious. I feared that I was losing my pregnancy symptoms and I was going toContinue reading “7 Weeks Pregnant”

6 Weeks Pregnant

My second pregnancy was different than my first. For my pregnancy with Mackenzie, I was in shock for days and not at all prepared. For my pregnancy with Chase, I was very prepared for the first trimester as I knew what pregnancy symptoms to expect. At 6 weeks I was already feeling nauseated, tired, hungryContinue reading “6 Weeks Pregnant”

A Weekend Away to Honor My Due Date

On Friday September 13th, my best friends Alli, Andrea and I all took a trip to their family’s cabin. This was a well needed trip as not only did we all need a vacation and time to catch up with one another, but I also wanted to take time away to grieve and honor myContinue reading “A Weekend Away to Honor My Due Date”