My 3rd Grief and Mercy Blog Post Round Up: A Look at my Most Liked and Viewed Posts

A Weekend Away to Honor My Due Date This post was one of my favorites, as not only was I honoring my beautiful angel baby, but I was also pregnant for a 2nd time. 6 Weeks Pregnant When you’re pregnant, every week is a milestone. And I was super excited when I reached 6 weeksContinue reading “My 3rd Grief and Mercy Blog Post Round Up: A Look at my Most Liked and Viewed Posts”

Pennies from Heaven

Growing up, I had always been familiar with the concept of Heaven and faith. Having an older brother who died as an infant, is what first introduced me to faith. Later in life, of course I had grandparents, and acquaintances who passed on as well, and though it was sad, these moments built my faith.Continue reading “Pennies from Heaven”

Missing You A lot These Days…

May 13th, 2020. Three days after Mother’s Day. This day had never been so important to me, until I found I was pregnant for a second time. Looking at that second line on a pregnancy test on a late September evening, I thought “This is it. This is my rainbow baby. Thank you Jesus” MyContinue reading “Missing You A lot These Days…”

It’s Okay To Not Be Okay

It’s okay to not be okay… and today I am not okay. A year ago today I was happy. I went to a doctor appointment that I thought would leave me joyous and thankful. Instead it left me with every emotion imaginable, and this is when my grief first began. I was 11 weeks pregnant.Continue reading “It’s Okay To Not Be Okay”

New Possibilities

No, this is not a pregnancy announcement or a trying to conceive announcement. This isn’t an announcement at all, but rather a vision for new opportunities. I love having friends and family who know me. I love having these people in my life who take the time to listen and care for my needs andContinue reading “New Possibilities”

My Challenge Working in a Nursery

You’d think that it would be unbearable to work in a nursery after losing two babies… but that’s actually not the case. I work in a nursery approximately three Sundays a month. During this time we play with kids, have entertaining conversations and even create some beautiful works of art through arts and crafts. It’sContinue reading “My Challenge Working in a Nursery”

I’m Not Sure How to Survive the Holidays with Grief in my Heart

To be honest, I’m not feeling very festive this Christmas. This past year has been a tidal wave of grief that I didn’t plan for, nor did I appreciate. On top of grief I’ve had other struggles including anxiety, depression, weight gain, self doubt and distress. Some might say this past year has made meContinue reading “I’m Not Sure How to Survive the Holidays with Grief in my Heart”

When the Grief Hits You All at Once…

The day I lost Mackenzie, I immediately felt grief, heartache and denial. The day I lost Chase, I only felt sadness and denial. Having a natural miscarriage was a lot different than having a D & C. With a D & C you don’t see anything. You are sleeping and not traumatized by what youContinue reading “When the Grief Hits You All at Once…”

Follow Up with the Midwife

On Wednesday October 2nd, I was scheduled to have my 8 week ultrasound. However, since I suffered a miscarriage over the weekend, I had a follow up with a midwife instead. Before going into the appointment, I had some nerves. Unlike last time, I didn’t want to talk about my loss. I didn’t have questions,Continue reading “Follow Up with the Midwife”

My Worst Fear… Again

The following post is my story of how I experienced my second miscarriage. In this post I show vulnerability in retelling my second loss. I also share details in my miscarriage, so I do want to offer a TRIGGER WARNING before anyone begins reading my post. Please feel free to stop reading, and take careContinue reading “My Worst Fear… Again”

A Scare at 7 Weeks and 3 Days

Saturday September 28th, was supposed to be a very relaxing day. I didn’t have any plans that day except for studying and relaxing at home. I spent the morning in my pjs, drinking decaf coffee and catching up on some reading. Charles headed to our university’s football game and hung out with friends. I feltContinue reading “A Scare at 7 Weeks and 3 Days”

7 Weeks Pregnant

At 7 weeks pregnant… I started to feel better. My nausea started to subside, and food was starting to appeal to me again. I think that since I had already experienced a loss, this symptom made me really nervous and anxious. I feared that I was losing my pregnancy symptoms and I was going toContinue reading “7 Weeks Pregnant”

6 Weeks Pregnant

My second pregnancy was different than my first. For my pregnancy with Mackenzie, I was in shock for days and not at all prepared. For my pregnancy with Chase, I was very prepared for the first trimester as I knew what pregnancy symptoms to expect. At 6 weeks I was already feeling nauseated, tired, hungryContinue reading “6 Weeks Pregnant”

A Weekend Away to Honor My Due Date

On Friday September 13th, my best friends Alli, Andrea and I all took a trip to their family’s cabin. This was a well needed trip as not only did we all need a vacation and time to catch up with one another, but I also wanted to take time away to grieve and honor myContinue reading “A Weekend Away to Honor My Due Date”