Pennies from Heaven

Growing up, I had always been familiar with the concept of Heaven and faith. Having an older brother who died as an infant, is what first introduced me to faith. Later in life, of course I had grandparents, and acquaintances who passed on as well, and though it was sad, these moments built my faith.Continue reading “Pennies from Heaven”

Missing You A lot These Days…

May 13th, 2020. Three days after Mother’s Day. This day had never been so important to me, until I found I was pregnant for a second time. Looking at that second line on a pregnancy test on a late September evening, I thought “This is it. This is my rainbow baby. Thank you Jesus” MyContinue reading “Missing You A lot These Days…”

New Possibilities

No, this is not a pregnancy announcement or a trying to conceive announcement. This isn’t an announcement at all, but rather a vision for new opportunities. I love having friends and family who know me. I love having these people in my life who take the time to listen and care for my needs andContinue reading “New Possibilities”

My Challenge Working in a Nursery

You’d think that it would be unbearable to work in a nursery after losing two babies… but that’s actually not the case. I work in a nursery approximately three Sundays a month. During this time we play with kids, have entertaining conversations and even create some beautiful works of art through arts and crafts. It’sContinue reading “My Challenge Working in a Nursery”

I’m Not Sure How to Survive the Holidays with Grief in my Heart

To be honest, I’m not feeling very festive this Christmas. This past year has been a tidal wave of grief that I didn’t plan for, nor did I appreciate. On top of grief I’ve had other struggles including anxiety, depression, weight gain, self doubt and distress. Some might say this past year has made meContinue reading “I’m Not Sure How to Survive the Holidays with Grief in my Heart”

Let’s Change the Way We Treat Women Who Have Suffered a Miscarriage.

This past semester, I took a public speaking class. I had quite a bit of apprehension before taking this class as I really don’t like speaking in public. In fact, I have registered for this class a handful of times before, but have always dropped it before the beginning of the semester. What can IContinue reading “Let’s Change the Way We Treat Women Who Have Suffered a Miscarriage.”

Father’s Grieve Too

Why is it that when a couple loses a baby, society is more concerned of how the mother is doing more than the father? Why is it our society perceives a mother’s grief to be more substantial than a father’s? Why is it implied that father’s don’t grieve too? I believe it all boils downContinue reading “Father’s Grieve Too”

When the Grief Hits You All at Once…

The day I lost Mackenzie, I immediately felt grief, heartache and denial. The day I lost Chase, I only felt sadness and denial. Having a natural miscarriage was a lot different than having a D & C. With a D & C you don’t see anything. You are sleeping and not traumatized by what youContinue reading “When the Grief Hits You All at Once…”

Follow Up with the Midwife

On Wednesday October 2nd, I was scheduled to have my 8 week ultrasound. However, since I suffered a miscarriage over the weekend, I had a follow up with a midwife instead. Before going into the appointment, I had some nerves. Unlike last time, I didn’t want to talk about my loss. I didn’t have questions,Continue reading “Follow Up with the Midwife”

Unwanted Reminders

In the beginning of September, I was in a funk. Part of me was depressed and anxious as my “what would have been due date” was approaching…. While other parts of me, was excited for a new beginning. I was excited to start school again. I was excited to continue getting healthier and start ourContinue reading “Unwanted Reminders”

The Trying to Conceive (TTC) Lifestyle

Towards the end of summer, Charles and I started talking daily about kids and trying to conceive yet again. We stayed up some nights having long conversations about every possibility. What if we can’t get pregnant? What if we have another loss? What if I have to have surgery again? What if I have toContinue reading “The Trying to Conceive (TTC) Lifestyle”

National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day (October 15th)

Today is the day we remember. We remember the babies gone too soon. Whether you are a mother, father, sibling or grandparent of an angel, this is a day set aside for you. Coming from someone who has endured a painful loss, I can tell you first hand that this day of remembrance is notContinue reading “National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day (October 15th)”

My Besties’ Gender Reveal Party

On a lovely Friday evening in July, my best friend Andrea held a gender reveal party at her parent’s house. The party was at 7 but I went early to help her and Alli set up. Going to help prep the party was just like the good old days of baking together, making messes inContinue reading “My Besties’ Gender Reveal Party”

My First Big Opportunity as a Blogger: Sharing My Story in Toi Magazine

By June 2019 my blog and Instagram had really taken off. Parts of me was thankful and overwhelmed by the comments and subscribers I was receiving everyday. However, I also felt a sense of fear and vulnerability that I had never experienced before. In someway I just wanted to throw it all away, my blogContinue reading “My First Big Opportunity as a Blogger: Sharing My Story in Toi Magazine”