Recipe Reshare: Cowboy Salsa Recipe

When I say Cowboy Salsa is good… I am not kidding! It’s amazing and it’s healthy! 

INGREDIENTS 

1 Can of Black Beans 

1 Can of Black Eyed Peas 

1 Can of Whole Kerrneled Corn 

2/3 Cup Chopped Cilantro 

2/3 Cup Chopped Green Onion 

2 Avocados 

1/4 Cup of Olive Oil 

1/4 Cup Red Wine Vinegar 

Salt

Black Pepper

Red Pepper Flakes 

Tortilla Chips 

WHAT TO DO…

Drain and rinse black beans, whole kerneled corn, and black eyed peas. 

Dice avocados 

Mix all ingredients into a bowl 

Salt and Pepper to tase.

Add red pepper flakes if desired. 

Eat immediately or store in fridge for a half hour.

Serve with tortilla chips and enjoy!

Recipe Reshare: Nacho Flavored Popcorn Recipe

Popcorn is one of my favorite snacks! I love popcorn, and even more… I love making my special nacho cheese flavored popcorn.

Ingredients 

1. Plain Popcorn 

2. Butter 1/4 stick 

3. Chili Powder 1 tsp 

4. Red Pepper Flakes tbsp. 

5. Garlic Salt 1 tbsp.

6. Parmesan Cheese 1/4 cup


First pop the popcorn and place it in a large bowl. 

Next melt butter in microwave for 15 – 20 seconds. 

Then pour melted butter over popcorn. 

Sprinkle parmesan cheese, garlic salt, red pepper flakes, and chili powder over popcorn. 

Mix and Enjoy!!!

Recipe Reshare: Quiche Recipe

Quiche is one of my favorite dishes to make in the winter season. Quiche is just one of those meals you can have for breakfast, lunch or dinner and can change to fit your taste buds. 

WHAT YOU NEED…

1 Pie Plate 

1 Frozen, Pre-made Pie Crust (I use the Pillsbury Brand) 

4 Eggs 

1/4 Cup of Shredded Cheese (I like Cheddar) 

Spinach (If desired) 

Mushrooms (If desired) 

Bacon Bits (If desired) 

Onion (If desired) 

Black Pepper or Red Pepper Flakes 


1. First un-thaw pie crust. You can do this by leaving in the fridge for a day or two, or following the un-thawing directions on the package. 

2. Spray pie pan with non-stick spray.

3. Next, once pie crust is unthawed, rollout pie crust into pie plate. Make sure pie crust covers the entire bottom of the plate. 

4. Crack eggs into bowl and beat together. Pour eggs onto crust. Make sure eggs are spread evenly over dough. 

5. Chop meat and vegetables you desire, and disperse evenly into quiche. 

6. Add cheese, black peeper and red pepper flakes on top.

7. Preheat oven to 400* and cook quiche for approximately 30 minutes. Quiche is ready when the egg in the middle is cooked. 

8. Let cool for 5 minutes, serve and enjoy. 🙂

ReBlog: Let’s Change the Way We Treat Women Who Have Suffered a Miscarriage

This post was written in the fall of 2019.


This past semester, I took a public speaking class. I had quite a bit of apprehension before taking this class as I really don’t like speaking in public. In fact, I have registered for this class a handful of times before, but have always dropped it before the beginning of the semester. What can I say… I really didn’t want to take this class. However, since I am close to the end of my college career, I figured I better get it done, since it is a required course.

In this class, I had the opportunity to give a persuasive speech on a topic I am very passionate about. I took about a week to contemplate and brainstorm on my topic, until I was ready to present the speech topic to my professor. The topic I decided was miscarriage, but not just miscarriage. I wanted to give a persuasive speech and argue that their be a change in the way women are treated after suffering a miscarriage, in society and in the healthcare system. 

I organized my speech into 3 main points: 

1. Language, and what to say and not to say to a woman after suffering a miscarriage.

2. Policy changes that I would like to implement in the healthcare system. 

3. Advocacy for women of loss. 

The day of my speech I was very anxious. I was scared I would break down while speaking because this topic was too close to home. I was afraid I would trip over my words, forget something or go over my time limit. Ultimately, I was scared I wouldn’t be able to do it. Regardless, when it was my turn to get up and present my speech, I took a deep breath, prayed that God would help me through, and began. 


“When a child loses his parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses his or her partner, they are called a widow or widower. When parents lose their child… there isn’t a word to describe them.” – President Ronald Regan 


The above quote by Ronald Reagan was my attention getter for my speech. I went on to argue my main points and why I feel there needs to be a change. I ended my speech by saying: It is likely you will know someone in your life who has suffered a miscarriage, and coming from someone who has suffered two miscarriages, my hope is that you take something from this speech and change the way we look at miscarriage. 

At the end of my speech, my classmates applauded and asked me various questions about miscarriages, pregnancy and resources. When class was over and I was walking out, a girl in my class came up to me. She told me she loved my speech, and really appreciated the things I had to say about miscarriage and some good things to tell women who have suffered a loss. She even disclosed to me that she too had suffered a miscarriage, and it was the worst most terrifying experience of her life. As she confided in me, in the middle of the hallway, I so badly wanted to give her a hug, as I too knew her pain. But when I looked in her face, I could tell she was fighting back tears, and it took a lot for her to come and talk to me. So, instead I said “thank you for sharing that with me.” She smiled while still holding back tears and went the other direction. 

In that moment, I knew I was meant to give that speech, and I again understood that I am meant to share my story and advocate for miscarriage/pregnancy loss. Even though it’s hard, and even though I didn’t really think this was my purpose, I now know I have to do it. Even if as an advocate, author or speaker I only impact one person… I know I will have made a difference.

Recipe Reshare: Bruschetta Recipe

Hey Everybody! Since it’s the holiday season, I decided I would share my Bruschetta recipe! I recently have fallen in love with Bruschetta! It is perfect for any holiday event and SO easy to make!

INGREDIENTS 

Baget (Large)

Mozzerella Cheese (4 Oz. of block cheese) Optional*

Tomato (2 Medium or Large)

Onion (1/2 a red onion)

Olive Oil (1/4 cup)

Garlic (minced, 2 tablespoons)

Cilantro (1 teaspoon)

Basil (1 teaspoon)

Red Pepper Flakes (2 teaspoons)

1. Cut baget into slices, should make about 20 pieces. 

2. Toast baget in oven at 350* for 10 – 15 minutes, a nonstick cookie sheet works great! 

3. Dice tomatoes and onions. 

4. Slice Mozzarella cheese (optional)

5. Mix together tomatoes, onions, olive oil, garlic, cilantro, basil and red pepper flakes. 

6. Remove bagets from oven, let cool, and spread toppings on each baget. 

7. Place bagets on a plate or board. If desired, place cheese slices in a bowl for your friends and family to enjoy with their Bruschetta. Enjoy!

Reblog: 10 Things to Get Inspired and Fight Writer’s Block

For the last two weeks, I have been dealing with a little thing called… writer’s block. I’ve had writer’s block before, but never to this extent. To be honest I believe it’s a mixture of writer’s block, exhaustion and procrastination. I am exhausted because I am on holiday break, and have been doing my best to soak in every moment of rest and relaxation before I return to college for my last semester. I am procrastinating because as much as I love writing, it can be tiring. It takes a lot of brain power to figure out what to say, how to say it, when to say it, and have it all make sense. I sometimes feel pressured to write about something worth while so you as my readers not only enjoy what I am writing, but can also relate to it. I don’t get this pressure from any of my readers, but more myself as I am my most harsh critic. Regardless, I am dedicated to blogging. I love writing and blogging about my life, advocating about pregnancy loss, and connecting with my readers. So, I will continue writing, despite the exhaustion, procrastion and writer’s block. 

If you are a writer and you too are suffering from writer’s block, here are a few tips and tricks I’ve learned that may help YOU feel inspired to start writing again. 

10 THINGS TO GET INSPIRED AND FIGHT WRITER’S BLOCK 

1. BRAINSTORMING 

Brainstorming is something I didn’t truly learn how to do until I came to college. I have done the exercise in a variety of my classes. First pull up a blank document on your computer, or grab a piece of paper from a notebook. Set a timer for 2 minutes and instantly jot down different ideas for your blog, paper, or whatever you need to write. For example, if I am trying to think of a new blog post topic, I may write down ideas such as my dream vacation, my love story, 10 things I love about blogging, my favorite foods, etc. As you write down your ideas, don’t second guess yourself. Don’t stop to think about it. Just write it down. When the timer goes off, stop and take a look over your ideas. Through process of elimination, decide which idea works best for your project, and begin writing. For some reason, brainstorming has been found to be very effective, because it allows our minds to have quick ideas… and sometimes the best ideas come when we feel pressure and put our minds to it. 

2. DISTRACTION 

So this isn’t always the best idea, but it can be affective at times. However, I don’t recommend this tip if you are in a time crunch. Sometimes when I need to write a paper for school, I have to distract myself in order to feel inspired and know what I want to write about. Some ways I distract myself is by cleaning my house, cooking a meal, doodling, watching Netflix, or going for a walk. Often when I am distracted, I am allowing myself a little mental break so I can return with fresh eyes, and a focused mind to begin writing. 

3. PINTEREST 

Pinterest is truly my favorite. Who ever created this platform was truly a genius. Pinterest is the place I go to get inspired. You can practically search anything and find it on Pinterest. If you are looking for essay topics, blog post ideas, novel themes, etc., odds are you will find it all and more on Pinterest. I would advise caution when going on Pinterest though, If you are anything like me, you could easily spend hours looking at different ideas on Pinterest. So, I would surely advise that you be vigilant of time while on Pinterest. 

4. SELFCARE 

Selfcare is incredibly important, and I advocate all the time how we all need some selfcare in our busy crazy lives. Sometimes when I’m stuck, and I don’t know what to write, I have to be kind to myself and do a little selfcare. Some ways I practice selfcare and pamper myself are by taking a bubble bath, deep breathing exercises, listening to music, and doing something I love. When I’ve taken the time to take care of myself, I feel more relaxed, recharged and ready to begin a new task. 

5. PROCRASTINATION 

Okay, so if I had to guess, I can imagine a majority of you wouldn’t have thought that procrastination would be something that will help with writer’s block. As a matter of fact, it is usually a root cause to our writer’s block. Well, believe it or not, procrastination can actually be very beneficial. When we procrastinate we wait until the last few moments to do something. This could be waiting to clean your house an hour before a family gathering, or it could be waiting until you are almost on E before filling up your car with gas, or it could be waiting to write a paper until it is due the next day. This isn’t neccisarily a good idea, because when we procrastinate we are on a time crunch and are not giving ourselves enough time if technology fails or something goes wrong. However, just like what I said in the brainstorming tip, sometimes putting pressure on ourselves helps us to get stuff done. With pressure from limited time, we often can get tasks done quickly. Oh and I will even admit that I have procrastinated to write something, and because of it I actually produced some of my best pieces of writing because of the pressure I put on myself. 

6. LISTS 

Making lists can be helpful when wanting to feel inspired and get motivated to get stuff done. On days when I am very unmotivated, I force myself to sit down and write a list. I make a list of all the things I hope to accomplish that day. If it is a big project or paper, I will divide it up. For example instead of writing 1. Write my 10 page paper for English, I will write something like 1. Write 2 pages of 10 page paper for English. This not only makes the task more manageable, but helps me to decide how much time I should dedicate to each task. Somedays I get everything done on my list and some days I don’t. I do however reward myself when I get things done so I don’t get burned out and want to call it quits. 

7. TALKING

When I get stuck and don’t know what to write, sometimes it helps to talk to others. I ask friends, family members, my Instagram followers and others ideas on what to write on here. Feedback from others can be very beneficial and can help us to see new perspectives, and run with a new idea. 

8. CREATIVITY 

Being creative through a different task besides writing can help get your creative juices flowing. Sometimes I will spend a few hours crocheting, trying to decide what to write about. It’s not the crocheting that inspires me, but rather the fact that I am keeping my hands busy, so my mind has the ability to wander off, daydream, and think of other things. This usually helps me to get inspired and begin a new blog post. 

9. RELATING 

Sometimes I am blocked and can’t write because I have no idea how to relate my topic to anything, mainly my own life. It’s as if I have an idea, but I don’t know how it applies to my life. Do you remember creating those writing webs in grade school? Do you remember how we would have to start with a subject, circle it and brainstorm other ideas around it? And then, we would have to figure out how to connect the supporting ideas together. To be honest, those things drove me crazy, but I now see how beneficial they can be. If I’m stuck and can’t figure out how to relate my idea to my life, a certain concept or a class, then I usually create a writing web. 

10. ORGANIZATION 

Getting organized is the best feeling… in my opinion. Taking the time to organize my thoughts, ideas, and topic is the first step in writing something powerful. Write out your title and your headings. Just seeing them in order and laid out can help you start writing. I guarantee you if you take the time to organize, you will be that much closer and more motivated to write and create something amazing. 

Reblog: The Joys and Challenges of Being an Interracial Couple

“Puedo tener su numero del telefono? Charles said to me one day as I was gathering my things and leaving our Spanish class 5 years ago. 

“What?” I said, not sure what he was saying. I tried, but I was not that good at Spanish. 

“Puedo tener su numero del telephono?” He said again, and stared at me looking for an answer.

“I don’t know what you are saying… you want my phone number?” I asked confused and flattered. 

“Si” he said excited. I gave him my phone number and went on my way. This was pretty much the conversation that started everything. 

After meeting each other on September 4th, 2014…. we became aquaintances. We then began Spanish class buddies and eventually friends.

After asking me out 3 times, I finally said yes and Charles took me out for Indian. It was so sweet, yummy and awkward… but first dates usually are. By November 4th, 2014 we decided to make it official and become boyfriend and girlfriend…. or Novio and Novia.

We dated for a year and 8 months before getting engaged. He was so nervous as we walked through a park downtown, pulled out a ring, got down on one knee and asked me to marry him… of course I said yes. It was the best birthday present I ever received. 

Exactly 3 months later, we tied the knot on November 12th, 2016. We had the perfect fall wedding with many of our friends and family in attendance. We got married in the same church my grandparents got married in, and my Daddy gave me away to Charles. It was beautiful.

Before meeting Charles, I had never really considered dating someone let alone marrying someone of a different race. I have always been open to meeting new people no matter what they look like or where they come from, but I honestly just never thought I would be in an interracial relationship. 

Dating Charles made me realize we were from two different worlds. There were a lot of cultural differences that I was not at all use to. A lot of slang and phrases Charles would use I didn’t understand, or had never heard before. Thanksgiving was a huge culture shock. I was used to turkey, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, stuffing, fruit, corn on the cob and pumpkin pie. In Charles very soul food oriented family we had turkey, ham, fried chicken, greens, yams, corn bread, stuffing, mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese, and cabbage. It was amazing. 

When we got married I learned more things about being a black and white interracial couple. For instance people stare at us. Sometimes they are staring at us because we’re cute together, but other times they stare at us with disapproving looks… it’s very uncomfortable. 

Regardless of these differences, I truly enjoy being in an interracial marriage. I enjoy being with someone who has a very different background than I, but also shares the same values. For better for worse, for rich or poor, in sickness and in health, black or white…. I love Charles so much and I am honored to be his wife.

If I Ever Won the Lottery….

If I ever won the lottery, or was blessed with a bunch of money, I would spend the money and plan my life accordingly:

1. Invest

I would do the smart thing and invest a bunch of money of course. I would create a nice little nest egg so my family and I could live comfortably without much worry.

2. Pay off Any Debts I May Have

I don’t currently have a lot of debts, but let’s say I did. I would pay off my house, the car(s), student loans, credit cards, etc.

3. Build A House

I would find a nice junk of land likely in Michigan, in the woods or on a farm and build a house. I would build a wing for extended family members and a wing for my immediate family. It would have a walk in closet, large kitchen with a large pantry and island, large master bath and bedroom, 2 laundry rooms on separate floors, 4 seasons porch, office, playroom, library, a school room for homeschooling, a 3 car garage and a courtyard just to name a few rooms.

4. I’d Start a Farm

On the big plot of land I would buy, I would hope to have a number of animals as well. I’d get 2 dairy cows, 6 chickens, a goat, barn cats, and a dog.

5. I Would Do Nice Things for My Family

My family not only raised me but helped me a lot as I emerged from childhood to adulthood. I hope to pay them back in many ways, but one way is, I would offer to pay their bills for an entire year, if not longer.

6. I Would Donate to a Good Cause

Whether it’s missionaries overseas, an animal shelter or children’s hospital; I would like to donate to something good.

7. I Would Hire a Personal Chef

Winning a boat load of money would give me the opportunity to hire a personal chef. I would no longer have to cook my own meals, or struggle to decide on dinner for my family.

8. I Would Get An Endless Supply of Something

What’s the point of winning the lottery if you don’t get to have an endless supply of something. I’m not sure what I would choose at this time but I have a few ideas. Coffee? Buffalo Wings? Chocolate? Blankets? Smoothies? Pillows? Who knows?

The options are endless!

Changing My Focus

In January of 2019, my life took a turn and headed down a path that I didn’t see coming. Many of you know this story as it has been the foundation of my blog. I got pregnant for the first time. In February I suffered a loss that would not only be a defining moment in my life, but would also change the way I live my life.

After my first pregnancy loss, I spent a lot of time at home. As I grieved and healed from the loss of our baby, I spent a lot of time in my thoughts. I spent hours on social media such as Instagram and Facebook, watching other influencers on stories and in their posts.

In the summer of 2019, I put a pause on therapy. My therapist didn’t work through the summer, so took that time to really dive into what I felt my purpose and new found calling was… advocacy. I was passionate and felt led to advocate for women like me who had suffered a pregnancy loss.

In September I was ready, and I was motivated to share my story to anyone who would listen, and help those who had experienced loss. My what would have been due date was approaching, so in the midst of being passionate, I was also grieving. Then I got pregnant for a second time.

This was it. This was my rainbow baby. I was nervous but almost over confident I wasn’t going to have another loss. Things would be different this time. I went to school, went to all my appointments. I ate healthy. Everything was going to be just fine. Then at the end of September, I had my second loss.

I was numb. I was confused. I did everything right… and I still lost another baby. I beat myself up. I again had that intense passion and a little whisper in my ear that said share your story. Write a book. That was it! I should write a memoir. My blog was doing great. Why not take it a step further and start writing. The beginning of the writing process really wasn’t difficult because I just had to take bits and pieces of blog posts and turn it into a book.

In February of 2020, on a whim I created a rough draft of a children’s book that explained miscarriage in a child-friendly way. In March of 2020, I got a new job teaching, literally right before the big pandemic. In April of 2020, I graduated college. Being a new college graduate and starting a new job, my writing took a back seat.

In May of 2020, Charles and I decided to try for a baby one more time before pursuing adoption. It was frustrating, terrifying, and very much out of our control, but we said we’d give it a year.

In June of 2020, I decided to publish the children’s book I created back in February. I was touched by its’ small success and this motivated me to continue writing my story. I occasionally fiddled with my story on weekends or holiday breaks. But it wasn’t until December of 2020 that I finished my first draft.

In April of 2021, I was feeling very discouraged. We received negative test after test. It was feeling like my opportunities of being pregnant and having a baby had come and gone. At the end of that month I missed my period, and was pregnant for the third time.

For months, I had been experiencing writer’s block when it came to my book. I told myself I should have finished and published my book before I got pregnant, but that just didn’t happen. My blog continued to do well. I created stories, reels, posted pictures of my life, home decor and was hopeful to soon be sharing our pregnancy.

In May of 2021, I started telling a few people we were pregnant after having our first ultrasound. I fought morning sickness and fatigue which was awful, but also reassuring that things were likely okay with our pregnancy.

In June, I shared with the world that I was pregnant. I was hopeful that third time was it for us, and that this would be our rainbow baby. 3 pregnancies and we were finally able to make a public announcement.

In August, we found out we were having a baby boy. I was engulfed with sleepers, nursing bras, bassinets and diapers. My manuscript continued to take a back seat. To be honest, I was slightly afraid to read it while being pregnant. I knew by reading my memoir I would be reliving the pain and grief of our previous losses, and I didn’t want to do that while caring for my so far healthy third pregnancy.

My third pregnancy was actually going perfect. Every ultrasound and appointment seemed to be right on track, until October when I got diagnosed with gestational diabetes and November when I got Covid. This led to non-stress tests 2 times a week along with my normal OB appointments. This took up much of my time on top of working 35-40 hours a week.

We had our rainbow baby in January of 2022. Everything fell into place. My husband and I both had great jobs, and we were blessed to finally have our rainbow baby. You could blame it on hormones or endorphins, but at the time I felt like I had it all and didn’t feel a need to share my story anymore.

It wasn’t until I wrote out our birth story, and it occurred to me that there was a reason I hadn’t finished my memoir yet. Maybe my story wasn’t finished with the miscarriages. Maybe my story wasn’t only about loss and grief, but faith and hope. I pondered this for awhile and realized deep down, I still indeed wanted to write and publish my memoir.


So here we are, 8ish months after I gave birth and 3.5 years since my story began. In these times of chasing around a mobile baby, I find myself with the desire of changing my focus from influencing to writing. I’ve enjoyed my time on Instagram, but it’s just not me anymore. I’m ready to focus on my writing and focus on sharing my story through print.

Through this process of fine tuning my purpose, I have wrote out a few general goals/ideas I hope to pursue in the near future:

  • Sign up for a Writing for Beginner’s Workshop
  • Scrap my first draft, start fresh but also continue the story and add my third pregnancy and birth.
  • Back off from my blogging IG, and focus mainly on the blog.

It’s been fun being an instagrammer, but I’m ready to come back to my first love so to speak, which is writing. ❤️

Just a Little Life Update

Hi Friends, readers, and people who just happened to stumble onto my blog. I apologize for my absence and silence the last few weeks. I’ve had a whole lot going on but also a whole lot of nothing, that has prevented me from feeling inspired enough to write. However, now that my baby is finally down for his morning nap, I thought I would jot down a few ideas, thoughts and updates that have been circling my mind.

This past week I came down with mastitis for the second time. And it took over three days to get ahold of my doctor to get some antibiotics. That was frustrating. Thankfully, I am slowly on the mend. I have to say, being a mom is no easy task. But it is 10x times harder to be a mom and care for a baby when you’re sick, and/or your baby is sick.

Matthew has been doing well the past week. Teething has seemed to slow down a bit, which has been a nice break. His new thing this week is going on hands and knees, to pushing back to a sitting position. He is also trying to pull up on things and so incredibly close to crawling.

I turned 27 this month. I can’t believe I’m 3 years away from 30! For my birthday, my husband took me out to a crab shack. It was AHHMAZING! We had salad, oysters, shrimp, crab, lobster tail, broccoli, corn and potatoes. We also got a free slice of cheese cake. I’m not even going to tell you how much we spent but it was worth it! A few days later my mom bought pizza, and blizzards from Dairy Queen. My husband bought me a coffee and we had some breakfast sandwiches. I didn’t realize how much my birthday was centered around food, but never the less it was great!

Rocky got established with a new vet earlier this month and he is doing great! He is a healthy weight, no fleas and doing well. He even cooperated when the doctor gave him his exam.

I have been doing better at diving into the Word and reading on a daily basis. It has always been so refreshing to me to read a scripture and to be able to apply it to my daily life.

I’ve been thinking about our wedding anniversary coming up in November. I can’t believe it’ll be 6 years. How exciting!? It always depends on the weather for us. In November in Michigan, it could be snowing and 30° or 60° and sunny. So weather permitting we’ll have to plan something.

I think that’s pretty much everything that’s happening. As my life gets more exciting, and I feel inspired I’ll write more. But for now, it’s been fun and I’ll talk to you later. ❤️

Reblog: I Feel Like Job

This post was created in December of 2019. I had a lot of hardships in 2019 that let to a lot of grief, depression and anxiety. I decided to share this post as a way to reflect on the things I’ve overcome and the strength that Jesus gave me. ❤️

This year… I feel like Job. In the Bible, in the book of Job, it talks about a man. This man had the highest integrity in all the land. He had favor and perfection in God’s eyes (Job 1:1). One day, Satan challenged God. He wanted to know if Job, this man of God with great faith, would still have great faith if he was put to the test. So, God allowed bad things to happen to Job (Job 1:6 – 12). He was put to the test. Job lost his children, was stricken with boils, felt grief, and pain (Job 1:13 – 20). Through this season of trial and tribulation, Job didn’t lose faith… but he did ask the question of why?

WHY? 

I ask myself this question everyday. Why do bad things have to happen? Why do we have to suffer? Why do we have to feel pain? Job asked and argued these questions with friends and with God. He wondered and pondered that as a follower and believer of God, why did he have to struggle? Why did he have to suffer? Why did he have to lose his children? If God is such a good God, why does he let these things happen? if we are followers of God, shouldn’t we be blessed for being faithful and not have to face pain and heartache? Job goes on to argue his case with God for many chapters. Through each chapter, I feel as if I too have asked each one of these questions, trying to fathom why bad things happen to good people. One question that I couldn’t really find, that I’ve asked this past year is Where was God?

WHERE WAS GOD? 

Where was God through Job’s suffering? Where was God when he lost each and everyone of his children? Where was God when I lost mine? Where was God when I anticipated my second ultrasound, only to hear the words I’m sorry, but there isn’t a heartbeat. Where was God when the grief and heartache hit me as I woke up from surgery? Where was God when I was bleeding, and feeling labor pains knowing full well I was going to endure a second loss. Where was God this past year when my car got totaled, losing my job, my husband’s health, my health and all the crap I’ve had to suffer. Where was God!?!

GOD WAS THERE

As much as I don’t want to believe it, God was there. God was there through every moment of Job’s suffering, and He was there through every moment of mine. When bad things happen, he doesn’t just vanish, even though he seems so incredibly distant. He’s their, watching, and waiting. He waits to see how we will respond to a situation. In the waiting He isn’t closed off, but rather he’s there with open loving arms. It is up to us in every rough situation to run towards Him, or run away from Him. He is a just God, and He is a good God. He is perfect in every possible way, and we are sinners and honestly don’t deserve anything good. We don’t deserve good things, but he gives them to us anyway… because He is so good. 

WHAT’S THE REASON? 

If there is one pet peeve I have, it’s not knowing the reason. When things happen good or bad, but especially bad… I want to know the reason. I want to know the reason why my babies had to die, why my Grandma died of Alzheimer’s, why I’m vision impaired, and why my brother died before I was born. I want to know the answers to all of these questions, and have wanted to most of my life. But unfortunately, I may never know. I may never know the specific reasons why bad things happen in this life. But I do believe this. We live in a sin tainted world, and we are sinful creatures. Nothing in this world is perfect, therefore bad things are going to happen. I don’t believe God inflicts bad things on his children, but I do believe he allows them to happen. I think one reason God allows bad things to happen, is so we can appreciate the good, and we can be thankful for the blessings that we receive. I also believe it is a reminder that this world is only our temporarily home. We will not be apart of this world or live this life forever, there is a perfect world ahead if we receive the grace that God has for us. 

So, to bring it all full circle. I feel like Job this year. I have had a rough year of two miscarriages, a surgery, grief, losing a job, anxiety, depression, panic attacks, hypothyroidism, totaled car, and on and on and on. It has been one thing after another. 2019 has been the worst year of my life. With that being said… I know greater is coming. I have to believe that things are going to look up from here. Otherwise, I would just be giving up. This year has been hell, but has made me stronger. God allowed a lot of trials to happen this year, but I know he never stopped loving me. At the end of Job, God gave Job abundant blessings… not because he particularly deserved them, but because God loved him. Therefore, as hard as it has been, and as much as I want to give up… I won’t. Satan won’t take me out of the game that easily. I have faith 2020 is going to be great. I won’t lose faith. 

My Summer 2022 Bucket List Check In!

I probably say this every year, but how on earth is it July??? Not only this summer, but this entire year is flying by! Anyway, here’s a quick check in of my goals and how I’m doing. 😊

MY SUMMER 2022 BUCKET LIST
  1. Grow a Garden and produce fruits, veggies and spices.

So, since we are currently staying with family, we haven’t quite got the plants in the ground yet… but we do have plants. Does that count? We have a little bit of an over population with the bunnies that we need to figure out before we try growing our fruits, veggies and spices.

2. Go on some sort of family adventure (the zoo, the beach, the park, garage sailing, tulip festival etc.)

This summer has already been so hot, that I have been hesitant about taking our son out as I don’t want him to get dehydrated. I’m hoping it can cool down soon and we can find something fun to do.

3. Establish a more consistent daytime routine for my Baby (Naps, feedings, playtime, tummy time, etc.)

Umm… yes and no. Every time I think we are starting to have a schedule, something always changes. I have discovered within the last few weeks that I have to limit Matthew’s naps. I also have to make sure his last nap isn’t too late in the day, otherwise he does not sleep well at night.

4. Publish my Memoir

I’m working on it okay. Writing and self publishing a book is hard.

5. Start a weekly Yoga Routine

Let’s not go there.

6. Finish Knitting Charles Sweater

It’s been a little too hot to knit these days.

7. Finish Reading the Entire Bible

Currently working on Isaiah, and hoping to start another book soon.

8. Reorganize my Bathroom

My bathroom isn’t really mine at the moment, since I’m sharing it with other people, so this goal is on hold for now.

9. Commit to going on Family Walks at least once a week,

Again it’s been too hot. But we have gone a few times, just not every week.

10. Create some New Recipes

I haven’t really had a chance to cook since moving, but I am hoping to do this very soon.

11. Introduce solid foods to my Baby ✔️

This has been a huge hit in our house. We have been trying solid foods since 4.5 months and so far Matthew has tried bananas, apples, prunes, peas, carrots, chicken, peaches, pears, cereal and butternut squash. We are hoping to try avocado and sweet potato next.

12. Start teaching Baby Sign Language in our Home. ✔️

Since starting on solids, we have also been teaching baby sign language. The signs we’ve used so far include milk, more and all done. Matthew hasn’t signed any of these back to us quite yet, but soon enough I’m sure he will.

13. Spend more time with my Family and Friends ✔️

As we’ve been staying with family, I have been able to spend more time with family and friends. ❤️

14. Do Art Projects with my Baby ✔️

Let me tell you, this has been an adventure. So far we had done foot print crafts for Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. Let’s just say Momma wore a lot of blue paint. I think Matthew had fun though.

15. Reach 425 Written Blog Posts

I’m still in the 300’s as far as blog posts but we’ll get there.


3 out of 15 goals met. That’s a pretty good start!