This past year, and actually since starting my blog I have developed various goals for myself that are a mixture of personal and professional goals. If you’ve been following me for a while, you know that each year I create goals that I hope to accomplish by New Year’s Eve and a Summer Bucket List of goals I hope to accomplish in the summer. If you don’t know what I am talking about, then head over to my blog post….
One goal I am trying so incredibly hard to accomplish is writing and publishing my memoir. My memoir was an idea that first came to light the day after my second miscarriage, in September of 2019. After suffering my first loss, I felt led to start a blog… this blog in fact :). After my second loss, I realized there was more to my story and my grief that needed to be done. I realized that I have a gift of writing and since suffering two losses, though it was devastating… my circumstances had then given me the chance to expand my story and share with others my story, in order to help women like me. My circumstances, my grief and my passion is what drove me to write my book.
I have officially written the first draft of my book and currently working on the second. It’s small, raw, detailed, sad, but powerful… and I’m very proud of it.
I will be keeping you all updated as I continue to make the final touches to my book and begin the self publishing process!
Monday through Friday, work 8 – 5pm. On Saturdays catch up on house work and errands, maybe take a nap if there’s time. Sunday do absolutely nothing if you can besides watch a virtual church service and catch up on your latest drama on Netflix. If you’re like me, this too is what your life looks like in a nutshell, week to week. For me, I am usually feeling the stress and slight dread of Monday by 4pm. I start to think about if my uniform is clean, if I have anything to pack for lunch the next day, if my lesson plans are all set and ready for the week, and if there is anything else I am forgetting. I also consider if there is anything that I can do to wind down and relax so I am ready for Monday. I will be honest with you though… I sometimes push off my selfcare in order to be productive, which I sometimes end up regretting. Regardless, I am here to assist you in how to wind down and rest on a Sunday night, as well as take my own advice; in order to be ready and refreshed for the week ahead.
I know it may sound tedious, but in order to help me wind down on Sunday and actually set aside time for self care, I create a schedule. I get it, I do… it may sound like more work and stress to create a schedule, but it will honestly help in the long run. Orginally, I used to rely on sticking notes that I would use to jot down my to do lists on Saturday evening. But now, I have created a very neat and organized schedule I use for Sundays.
Here is an example of the organized schedule I use. In this schedule I created an area for my to do lists, and I have divided it into morning, afternoon and evening tasks. I also have a section for various self care areas I hope to focus on throughout my Sunday. Sometimes, life is crazy and I’m not always able to devote each area of self care, but I try to focus on at least 3. Lastly, there is an area for a deadline in which I hope to get things done for the day, as well as reflection questions.
I will say that planning and scheduling out each part of the day isn’t for everyone. Some people find it more stressful, while others find it very helpful. Either way, I hope this tool helps in some way. For me personally, I absolutely love seeing everything I need to get done in black and white. As I am able to get them done, I also find it so satisfying to be able to cross things off my check list and keep going throughout my day. Sometimes life gets repetitive and hard. We all need a little reminder now and then that it is okay to stop and take care of you. So please do whatever helps make you feel good, rested and refreshed for the week ahead.
If you are interested in using the My Sunday Schedule template, Click below to Download the PDF. ⬇️⬇️⬇️
This post was written a year ago, and though a year has passed, I still believe it holds some truth today.
It’s okay to not be okay… and today I am not okay. A year ago today I was happy. I went to a doctor appointment that I thought would leave me joyous and thankful. Instead, it left me with every emotion imaginable, and this is when my grief first began. I was 11 weeks pregnant. I was supposed have an ultrasound and hear my baby’s heartbeat for the very first time. Instead I heard the words “I’m so sorry, we can’t find a heartbeat.” Instead of feeling joyous, I left feeling empty and broken.
My life changed that day. I became an angel mommy. I had to learn how to let go of a child that I fell in love with but didn’t get to meet. I learned who my true friends and family were. I learned how incredibly common pregnancy loss is, even though no one talks about it. I learned that there are good people in the healthcare system who go above and beyond for their patients. I also learned how the healthcare system let’s so many women like me down. I learned how to grieve, how to live, and how to be happy again. It wasn’t easy, and trust me… I’m still working on it.
Grief is a burden that we all have to deal with in this life. There is no telling how or when you’ll go through it. But we grieve because we love. It hurts because we don’t want to say goodbye. It’s confusing because we don’t know how to handle it until it happens. But more often than not grief brings people together. Whether it’s losing a parent, losing a sibling, losing a friend, losing a child, losing a neighbor, a coworker or even someone well known… it hurts, and it unifies us.
So today I am not okay. I am giving myself permission to grieve my baby. I’m not going to feel guilty for not being my best today. I’m going breathe, rest and remember what I had before I had to say goodbye, and that’s okay.
I love you Mackenzie! Daddy and I miss you so much. 💕
In my last semester of college, I was taking a yoga class just for fun. Ironicallly, it was the semester that covid hit the US, so I found it fitting that I was in a course that would help me relax amidst a crazy pandemic.
As the semester continued into the spring, and classes were forced to be taught online, I had the opportunity to practice what I had learned from yoga at home. My instructor posted weekly videos of different yoga practices and a quick reflection we were to complete after each practice.
For my last practice and assignment in yoga, I was to complete a three question reflection that was essentially a letter to myself. When writing this letter, I was asked to answer these questions:
What is something I needed to let go of?
What was something I was ready for?
What did I need to remember from the current time?
At the end of the letter, I asked that my yoga teacher send me the letter in 8 months. On a cold, snowy day in December, I received my letter and honestly enjoyed my thoughts and feelings I wrote to myself.
What was one thing I wanted to let go of? – The Media. At the time, and even now I’m so tired of the media. Everything from opinions and bias, conflicting reports, and over sharing of the same stories is simply exhausting to watch. I hardly ever watch the news anymore. Since, eliminating about 85% of the media in my life, I have found that my mental health is so much more stable. I’m not nearly as anxious as I was when I wrote the letter to myself.
What was something I was ready for? – To embrace a life without school. When I was writing this letter, I was so excited to not be in school anymore. After 6 years of nonstop college, I was ready to just work, be a wife, and start a family.
What was something that I needed to remember from that time? – That I’m a survivor. I’ve been through a lot, especially in the last 6 years. Life has really sucked at times, but I have learned to appreciate the good. I also told myself, that as life gets good, remember to pay it forward, and make others feel good too.
I have decided I am putting this letter on my fridge, as it serves as a good reminder through this year. Who knows what the year will bring, but when it gets hard I’ll remember, I’m a survivor.
1. You Have Separation Anxiety When You are Away From Your Cat.
Do you worry about your cat being home alone while you are running errands or at work? Do you wonder if they will be on their best behavior or they will get lonely, if you are never there? If so, then you might be a crazy cat parent.
2. You Rearrange Your Schedule So You Can Spend More Time With Your Cat.
Do you sometimes stay home for no other reason then to spend time with your cat? After a long week of working, do you look forward to spending time with your cat on the weekend? If so, you may be a crazy cat parent.
3. You Talk to Your Cat, and Wait for Your Cat to Respond.
It is true that often times, pets are the best therapists. But not everybody has actual conversations with their pets and waits for them to respond. I am going to make a little confession. Sometimes, my kitty Rocky and I have conversations, and I indeed do wait for him to respond. If you also do this, then you too may be a crazy cat parent.
4. You Consider and/or Adopt Another Cat So Your Current Cat Won’t Be Lonely.
Do you scroll through pictures from your local shelters or pet ads from Petfinder, and consider adopting another feline friend? Do you do this because you have kitty fever or because you want your kitty to have another friend. Maybe even both?
5. You Spend More Money on Cat Toys, Treats, Food, and Pet Furniture Than You Actually Plan To.
Confession time again…. I spent over a $100 on Rocky this past Christmas. But he’s my only baby at the moment, so I have no shame. Do you also find yourself strolling down the pet aisle, or finding ways to adjust your budget so you can buy more things for your cat? If yes, then you too could be a crazy cat parent.
6. You Get Up Early or Stay Up Late Just to Play with Your Cat.
Do you get up early just to spend time with your cat? Do you just adore how loving your kitty can be when he is waking you up and begging you for food early in the morning? Do you jump out of bed, and join your kitty when you hear him bellowing opera kitty music at 2am? If so, then you may just be crazy, or a crazy cat parent.
7. You Rearrange Your Furniture So Your Cat is Comfortable When Looking Out the Windows.
Do you get your cat’s opinion on how to rearrange the furniture? Do you consider how he might want to watch his live tv of birds flying, squirrels gathering nuts, and dogs walking their humans? If yes, then maybe you are a crazy cat parent.
8. You Leave the TV on for Your Cat When You’re Not Home.
Do you worry your kitty will go crazy being in a quiet home for too long and decide to leave on the tv for them? Yes? Don’t worry… I do it too. I’m probably just as crazy as you.
9. You Look Forward to and/or Get Excited to Give Your Cat Catnip.
Do you want your cat to love you?… I mean really love you? Do you look forward to giving them catnip and anticipate seeing the cat be all consumed by catnip? I do.
10. You Consider Your Cat as One of Your Kids.
Do you? I do. My kitty is my baby.
If you haven’t already guessed, I am a crazy cat mom and this was all just for fun. I hope I made you smile and brought some humor into your life today. Well, I’m going to go snuggle my cat now.
For the last few weeks, I have been having some crazy, comforting and vivid dreams. Now I know a lot people these days have been having weird dreams, but I have to wonder if the dreams I have been having have a deeper meaning.
At the beginning of December, I had a dream I was in my bathroom taking a pregnancy test. I stared at the test and waited for it to show a result. I watched as two bright pink lines showed up on the test, and I got so excited…. then I woke up and I was disappointed because it was a dream.
About a week later I had another dream that I again was taking pregnancy tests in my bathroom. I had a whole pile of them on my counter and they were all positive.
Near Christmas, I had a dream I was pregnant, and I looked down at my feet and I couldn’t see them. My big belly was in the way. I woke up confused and checked my belly, nope not pregnant.
On Christmas Eve I had a dream Charles and I had a baby girl. We named her Mercy. I’m not entirely sure why, but we did. In the dream I was wearing a necklace with an M on it. I woke up and told Charles. He wasn’t entirely sold on naming our kid Mercy as a first name, but he wasn’t against a middle name.
On New Year’s Eve, I had a dream I was walking through the woods. I reached the edge of the woods and entered a valley. Above the valley was a bright and beautiful rainbow. It was so beautiful I started screaming and crying. I was so overjoyed, then I woke up.
These dreams are so interesting, and I have to wonder if I am just obsessing over having babies or are these actually signs from above? Maybe, and maybe not. Only time will tell I suppose.
Mackenzie Goes to Heaven is a children’s book, created for families who have gone through a pregnancy loss. It is designed to teach siblings and other children about the concept of miscarriage and how it affects a family, in a child friendly way.
Not only is this story about a mother who suffers a pregnancy loss, but the characters in the book are also named after my angel babies Mackenzie and Chase, as well as my brother Matthew who passed away as an infant.
Mackenzie Goes to Heaven is available for $7.70 + Shipping HERE. Digital and Paperback copies are available.
Finally, a new year. I don’t think anyone expected 2020 to go the way it did. When thousands of people were creating goals last January 1st, I’m sure none of them expected a global pandemic, a deadly sickness called the Corona virus, distance learning, state shut downs and the everyday wearing of face masks. None the less, it is officially 2021. We made it to another year.
I pray that this year is a 100 times better than last year in every way. And if not, I pray that through any struggle we may face, I pray we are able to learn and make the most of every situation.
This year I have written down 10 goals that I hope to complete in the year 2021.
My Goals for 2021
Publish My Memoir
Pay Off My Car
Recieve My FLE Certification
Lose 20 lbs.
Buy A New Car
Publish a Second Children’s Book
Read The Entire Bible
Publish a Self Care Journal
Pay Off My Credit Card
Start a Family
My deadline to complete these goals is December 31st, 2021 at midnight. Let the first page of this 365 page book begin!
2020 was a year many thought would be a fresh start. It was the beginning of a new decade and a year for clear vision.,, or so we thought. But instead we were all taken for a loop by this deadly sickness called the Corona virus. In many people there was sheer panic and anxiety, and not long after the way we once lived our lives was no longer. We went from having the freedom to socialize with anyone and everyone, to being instructed to remain 6 feet apart with anyone out side our household. We were required to wear masks everywhere, and no longer had the freedom to dine in restaurants. Students as young as kindergarten and as old as college were forced to complete their studies strictly online.
This year has been anxiety inducing, confusing, exhausting, unpredictable and unexpected. But despite all of that, we have all had the chance at putting things into perspective. With a variety of shut downs and quarantines we have had more opportunities to spend quality time with our immediate families. We have learned to appreciate the time and moments we shared because they are precious, and the future is not promised.
For me personally, this year has been rough, but I have been given a lot blessings as well. This was a big year for me despite the craziness. Today I would like to reflect on 2020, the ups and downs, the blessings and challenges and everything in between.
Recap of My Goals for 2020
Graduate with my Bachelor’s degree in Child and Family Development. ✔️
Pay off my Car ✖️
Recieve my Certification in Family Life Education ✖️
Get a Pet ✔️
Publish my Memoir ✖️
Move to a New Home ✔️
Get Certified as a Life Coach ✖️
Recap of 2020
I started my last semester of college.
Started taking Plexus daily.
I started revamping my resume and applying to various jobs for after I would graduate.
I started a new job as a Lead Preschool Teacher.
Covid – 19 hit the US and life as we knew it changed.
We moved to our new apartment.
I finished my last semester of college.
My state and pretty much the country was forced into an immediate say-at-home order.
I graduated with my Bachelor’s of Science degree in Child and Family Development.
I returned back to work after being laid off.
I redecorated my new apartment.
I celebrated my 2nd Mother’s Day and Teacher Appreciation Week.
I honored my Due Date for my 2nd baby.
Charles and I started trying again.
I went to the cabin with my best friend Alli.
Started swimming and enjoying the beautiful summer weather.
My husband got a new job.
I published my first children’s book, Mackenzie Goes to Heaven.
I adopted a kitten and named him Rocky.
I turned 25.
I continued digging deep and working on my memoir.
I grew 9 plants on my balcony.
I hit 6 months of working at my job.
Charles and discussed and decided to pursue adoption.
I reached 150 followers on my blog.
I hit 25 sales on my children’s book.
I was named teacher of the month at my Job.
I did some goal setting for the year ahead.
2020 was crazy and definitely a year of change. Moving forward I predict 2021 will bring it’s own set of challenges and blessings. 💕
Grey’s Anatomy is my favorite tv show of all time. A close second would be 7th Heaven, Full House, Reba, Judging Amy and Gossip Girl. I started watching Greys right after I got married… so since 2016. This show has not only been on forever, but their predictable yet unpredictable stories are amazing. Anything from relationships, to surgery, to trauma, to lessons; this show always holds my attention.
Since this is my favorite show, I thought it would be fun to list my favorite episodes and the reasons why. This show has 17 seasons, so I decided to only focus on 4 seasons at a time. So, here we go…
Episode 1: A Hard Days Night
Of course the first episode of Grey’s Anatomy made the list, because it’s the first. In this episode we are introduced to the original characters Meredith, Alex, George, Izzy, Christina, Miranda, Richard and Derrick. This is where the show first began, and we are able to see Meredith and her intern buddies on their first day of their intern year.
Episode 9: Who’s Zoomin’ Who?
This episode made my list because, when I first watched it, the ending honestly took me off guard. Later I learned that’s Grey’s Anatomy for you… many, many, many episodes will catch you off guard. However, I feel this episode is a favorite because it is when we first learn Derrick and his secrets. He is married and he left his wife because she cheated on him with his best friend.
Episode 14: Bring the Pain
In this episode, Alex and George preform the legendary heart in an elevator scene. I love this episode because we get to see George fly solo for the first time and he has always been one of my favorite characters.
Episode 15: In to You Like A Train
This episode was super memorable because not only was Meredith waiting for Derrick to profess his love for her, but a huge accident with a train occurred and two people were badly injured by a pole penetrating them. There was much suspense in this episode and what was heart breaking is at the end of the episode they were only able to save one of the victims.
Episode 25: As We Know It
This is the second part of the bomb episode. The whole hospital is under code black and Meredith has her hand on a bomb in a patient. When I first watched this episode I was on the edge of my seat, and all seemed to be okay until it exploded at the very end.
Episode 35: Losing My Religon
The season finally of season 2 was really good in my opinion. Denny gets a heart, then strokes out from a blood clot. Meredith and Derrick have to put down their dog and stop fighting the fact that they have feelings for each other. Izzy quits and the hospital hosts a prom.
Episode 42: Where the Boys Are
I honestly really enjoyed this episode because one it was entertaining to see all the men taking a camping trip to the woods; and two because it was entertaining seeing Alex and George fight out their differences.
Episode 51: Drowning on Dry Land
This episode had me on the edge of my seat as I really thought Meredith had drowned and died. However, her doctors/ friends worked tirelessly trying to save her and eventually they did.
Episode 69: Crash Into Me Part 1
An ambulance crash right outside the hospital caused many of the doctors to try and save the paramedics inside. This episode was very sad, but I throughly enjoyed how it all played out.
Episode 77: Freedom Part 2
Not only was this episode the second part of the ambulance crash, but also Lexie’s patient’s main artery blew and that was crazy to see.
I love spinach artichoke dip. It’s just one of those appetizers that are filling and delicious. I have tried many different recipes of spinach artichoke dip online, and have found a combination of what works for me. So, without further or do… here is my spinach artichoke dip recipe!
A Half Bag of Spinach
Half a block of Cream Cheese
1 Jar of Artichoke Hearts
1 Half Cup of Mayonnaise
What You Do
First, preheat oven at 350° and find a container to cook your dip in. I have used both an 8” by 8” pan, as well as a 8” by 8” casserole dish. I find that if you are looking for the spinach and cheese to be crispy on top, to go with the pan… but it’s completely up to you.
Next, pull out the cream cheese, and start chopping the spinach, artichoke hearts and garlic. It is very important to buy fresh spinach for the dip, as canned spinach will make the dip super watery. Chop the spinach, garlic and artichoke hearts into small pieces.
Then mix the cream cheese, mayonnaise, spinach, artichoke hearts, and garlic together. It may help to mix this in a bowl before putting it into a pan. If the cream cheese is too hard try removing the wrapper and melting it in the microwave for a few seconds. Or trying pulling it out of the fridge sooner.
Finally, place all of the these ingredients in a casserole dish or pan. Sprinkle some shredded cheese on top. I personally love cheddar on top!
Bake at 350° for 20 minutes. Then check the dip and if it still needs a little time, bake it for another 10 minutes. it should look slightly crispy on top.
Once the dip is ready, I sometimes like to add a few finely chopped tomatoes to give it a little color and flavor, but this is completely optional.
There you go! I hope you enjoy my spinach and artichoke dip recipe! ❤️
Side Note: This dip tastes AMAZING with tortilla chips or even pita chips!