Reblog: Wise Words from My Friend Andrea

Hi, I’m Andrea! How do I know Kaylee, you ask? Well, Kaylee and I have been best friends for half our lives. If you ever get a chance to ask her how we met, do it. It’s quite the story! Today, I’d like to share with you about body image. However, before we dive into such a deeply personal topic, I should tell you a little about me. I enjoy crafting, hiking, anything nature-related, good conversations, board games, changing seasons, experimenting in the kitchen, and all things Christmas. Oh, and my husband is my favorite. We met in college (another great story for another time) and have been married for three years. We have an active, inquisitive 19-month-old son and are expecting a baby girl around Thanksgiving.

Enough about me. Let’s talk body image.

Remember when the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge (William and Kate) had their first child and gave the public their first look at their new baby? In the photos released, a beaming but tired William and Kate snuggled their newest addition. Kate wore a beautiful dress that tucked in at her waist and revealed her postpartum baby bump. To my surprise, media in the US centered not on the sweet little bundle of joy, but rather on Kate’s newly postpartum body. I couldn’t believe that after waiting 9-10 months to meet their baby, the public was more interested in how small Kate’s waist was, the fact that her belly still bulged little, and other features not worth noting.

While stigmas surrounding body image affect every person, childbearing women especially experience this reality in a deep and raw way. Some women I’ve known have a newfound security in their body image while pregnant or even after birth, finding pride in what their bodies can do and how many incredible changes they face to nourish and care for a child. Other women face deeper and more extreme struggles when they don’t have the perfectly round baby bump they’ve always pictured, or stretch marks tear across new areas of their bodies, or they face pain with their previously normal activities such as walking, intimacy, or even sitting. 

Pregnancy has a way of impacting every portion of our being, from physical to emotional to spiritual. From the moment conception takes place, our bodies begin a long process of growing, changing, and morphing in new ways. With my first pregnancy, I pictured glowing skin smiling through morning sickness, a perfectly round little baby bump, and minimal weight gain that would slough off with a few months of breastfeeding. Boy, was I wrong. I was instead met with an overall feeling of puffiness from my face to my toes almost immediately after conceiving. My fatigue was overwhelming. I didn’t just feel tired. I looked tired. Acne popped up. When my bump began to show (much earlier than anticipated, I should add), I was met with more insecurity. I’ve always had a rough relationship with my stomach. Attracting more attention to an area I’ve always wanted to downplay brought up even more feelings of insecurity, especially considering the many unwelcome hands touching it (another topic altogether). Yes, I was absolutely thankful to be pregnant, but I just didn’t look or feel the way I had pictured. 

Once I was in the midst of the second half of my pregnancy, my weight gain – while in the healthy range on doctor’s office charts – felt like too much. My jeans were tight and my maternity shirts that had fit me at 18 weeks were creeping too high on my stomach while my bust pushed them too low on my chest. Everything was changing. By 30 weeks, my stomach had reached its limit for how far it could stretch. I tried creams, but my genetics won out. Stretch marks began to span across my growing belly. When I found the first one, I felt panic rise in my chest. “What?! This early?! How many more will I get before my baby arrives?” I’m glad I didn’t know the answer then. I needed time to accept and appreciate my changing body. 

Eventually, I couldn’t see my toes. I could hardly do a patchwork job of shaving my legs. I was too uncomfortable to do much of anything. Basic hygiene took loads of effort. I didn’t feel very human anymore. I used to be excited for this stage of pregnancy when I was obviously pregnant and feeling every movement of my little son…but the discomfort nearly outweighed the excitement. Then I faced guilt for feeling this way. Much of my pregnancy was not what I had pictured.

Then, the day came. The day. I gave birth to my miracle son, my sweet little boy. I had pictured this moment in my mind’s eye countless times. I’d heard women say everything in their world melted away the moment they saw their baby, and nothing else mattered. It’s a bit of a dramatized statement, but it holds some truth. Looking at my son and recognizing that I was his most crucial caregiver brought new perspective to my life. My dislikes about the current state of my body didn’t matter so much anymore. I had more to think about than the size of my waist or how many stretch marks I had acquired. 

Regardless of a shift in perspective, I still had the same body to sleep in, eat in, and see naked in the bathroom mirror. I had the same body to move in, breathe in, and use to care for my new baby. I had to come to terms with what it was. I remember lying in the bathtub at the hospital the first chance I had to bathe after birth. I was exhausted and thankful that I had completed the birthing process. Then, I looked at my stomach…and I couldn’t believe the words that came to my mind. “My stomach is floating.” That once-full belly with a little pregnancy fat and a little pregnancy stretch was floating. My stomach muscles were too tired and stretched to hold it. I felt another wave of panic. “Will my stomach always be like this?! How will I ever run again? How will I ever find another dress that makes me feel beautiful?” But thankfully, I was too tired to dwell on these things for long. 

In the weeks following birth, I was still too tired to do much fretting about what my body looked like. I was caring for a new life 24/7 and adjusting to a new level of responsibility and purpose for me. Eventually, as I emerged from the fog of caring for a newborn, my insecurities began to eat at me again. It took longer than I had imagined for my stomach muscles to tighten again. My extra weight wouldn’t budge much until I had stopped nursing my son. Yet, this round of dealing with insecurities looked different than it had throughout my pregnancy. This time, I had a newfound empowerment. Yes, I was stretched out, tired, scarred, and a few pounds heavier than I wanted to be…but I had carried a life. I wore the battle scars of nourishing another human from the inside out. I plumbed the depths of my heart and mind for strength I didn’t know I could ever muster during the most uncomfortable moments of pregnancy, in that birthing suite, and in the middle of the night fits of colic. And in those moments, I had the opportunity to reassess my purpose in life, and how that intense difficulty served to point me to the One who made me, sustains me, and gave me my son to care for. He gave me meaning and purpose and used even my lowest moments to teach me about himself and draw me in to his incredible grace and tenderness. 

Call me crazy, but I’ve found more confidence and strength in my postpartum body than I ever had in my pre-baby body with my flat, smooth stomach and well-exercised body. Defining my purpose and looking beyond the moment to remember it was more impactful than a few stretch marks could ever be. I’ve been scarred by childbearing…but the confidence I’ve found has meant more than any of my previous body ideals. And that confidence could only be found in seeing beyond the moment and shifting my perspective to my body’s purpose. I am so much more than my body. 

Whether you’ve ever experienced pregnancy, birth, or caring for a baby postpartum, you’re bound to at least experience some form of body image issues. Remember, your body is a vehicle to carry out your purpose in life. It’s not the prize at the end of a race. You have a chance to live every day in this vehicle that will continually morph throughout your life, with or without childbearing. And it’s worth it. Don’t let your body be what defines you. It’s about what you do with your body that matters. Who are you? What do you think? What makes you tic? How do you spend your time? What gives you purpose?

My Top 10 Favorite Date Night Ideas

My Top 10 Date Night Ideas

1. Take a Drive

Take a drive somewhere, anywhere and do some sightseeing on the way. Take a look at the trees and fall colors. Explore your city or another city. Drive to a pond or lake.

2. Go Out for Coffee

Find a cute little cafe in your downtown area, and go out for coffee, tea or a vanilla steamed milk.

3. Have a Game Night

Have a game night with a group of friends or just with your significant other. Play some cards, board games, video games or whatever floats your boat.

4. Have a Movie Night

Go out to the theaters and watch a new release, or plan a movie night at home. Pop some popcorn, dim the lights and play one of your favorites, or a series of movies. I love watching the Toy Story movies. 🥰

5. Go on a Beach Day

Plan a trip to the beach. Pack the towels, sunscreen, umbrella, and snacks and spend some time soaking up the sun.

6. Dinner for Two

Go out to eat and enjoy each others company at a favorite restaurant or dine in at home. Whether it’s something simple like pizza, or fancy like lobster, find something that hits the spot.

7. Try Something New

Plan a date of trying something new with your significant other. Maybe you’ve never gone downhill skiing, rode on a ferry or eaten sushi. Try something new together.

8. Cook Together

Plan out a fun meal at home, and cook together! Maybe you both like Italian, one of you could cook the pasta while the other could cook the garlic bread and you both could toss the salad. It could be a great opportunity to bond in the kitchen and enjoy some great homemade food.

9. Go On a Shopping Trip

Maybe you need to spruce up your home with some new home decor. Take a trip to Hobby Lobby and spend a few hours buying some new home decor that you both love for your home.

10. Plan a Cabin Trip

Plan a trip to a cabin, deep in the woods. Maybe even plan it in the fall or winter when you can keep warm with a fireplace or wood stove. Enjoy the great outdoors and being alone with each other.

Reblog: How to Wind Down on a Sunday Night ✨

Monday through Friday, work 8 – 5pm. On Saturdays catch up on house work and errands, maybe take a nap if there’s time. Sunday do absolutely nothing if you can besides watch a virtual church service and catch up on your latest drama on Netflix. If you’re like me, this too is what your life looks like in a nutshell, week to week. For me, I am usually feeling the stress and slight dread of Monday by 4pm. I start to think about if my uniform is clean, if I have anything to pack for lunch the next day, if my lesson plans are all set and ready for the week, and if there is anything else I am forgetting. I also consider if there is anything that I can do to wind down and relax so I am ready for Monday. I will be honest with you though… I sometimes push off my selfcare in order to be productive, which I sometimes end up regretting. Regardless, I am here to assist you in how to wind down and rest on a Sunday night, as well as take my own advice; in order to be ready and refreshed for the week ahead. 

I know it may sound tedious, but in order to help me wind down on Sunday and actually set aside time for self care, I create a schedule. I get it, I do… it may sound like more work and stress to create a schedule, but it will honestly help in the long run. Orginally, I used to rely on sticking notes that I would use to jot down my to do lists on Saturday evening. But now, I have created a very neat and organized schedule I use for Sundays. 

Here is an example of the organized schedule I use. In this schedule I created an area for my to do lists, and I have divided it into morning, afternoon and evening tasks. I also have a section for various self care areas I hope to focus on throughout my Sunday. Sometimes, life is crazy and I’m not always able to devote each area of self care, but I try to focus on at least 3. Lastly, there is an area for a deadline in which I hope to get things done for the day, as well as reflection questions. 

I will say that planning and scheduling out each part of the day isn’t for everyone. Some people find it more stressful, while others find it very helpful. Either way, I hope this tool helps in some way. For me personally, I absolutely love seeing everything I need to get done in black and white. As I am able to get them done, I also find it so satisfying to be able to cross things off my check list and keep going throughout my day. Sometimes life gets repetitive and hard. We all need a little reminder now and then that it is okay to stop and take care of you. So please do whatever helps make you feel good, rested and refreshed for the week ahead. 

If you are interested in using the My Sunday Schedule template, Click below to Download the PDF. ⬇️⬇️⬇️

my-sunday-schedule-pdfDOWNLOAD

My Goals for 2022

This past year, was a good year for us as we grew our family, got a new car and Charles got a new job. I can only imagine how amazing 2022 is going to be. Below is a list of things I hope to accomplish in the year 2022. 🎉

My Goals for 2022

1. Give Birth to our Beautiful Rainbow Baby!

He is due any day now and we just can’t wait to meet him!

2. Start a Small Business on the Side

If you’ve been following me since the beginning you probably remember my Etsy business? My Etsy business was a little shop where I made and sold hand knit and crocheted items. I would like to do something similar to that again. Or at the very least learn to sell things on EBay or Poshmark.

3. Finish Reading the Entire Bible

In 2021, I made it a goal to read the entire Bible. I didn’t quite read the entire thing, therefore this is a goal I would like to pursue until it is completed.

4. Move to a Bigger Place to Fit Our Family of 4!

With Charles, me, our new baby and Rocky… we are going to need to find a new place to live because our one bedroom apartment is getting a little too small. We are hoping to find something that fits our needs whether it be an apartment, townhouse or house.

5. Publish 1 of My Books

I kind of took a step back on working on my books this past year. It really wasn’t my intention but between working full time and being pregnant, my book ideas simply took a backseat. I am hoping to get al least one of these projects finished and up and running this year.

6. Pay Off Half of My Car

Since student loans keep getting pushed back, I thought I would take this year to focus on paying off a good portion of our car.

7. Knit Charles a Sweater

Since Charles and I started dating back in 2014 he has always wanted me to knit him a sweater. I am going to be honest, I have just never had the patience to knit him a sweater. But this year I am really going to try because I know it would mean a lot to him.

8. Create a Will

Now that I am mom, I want to make sure my Baby Boy and my kitty are taken care of if something were to happen to me. This year I want to create a Will so my wishes are met and my family is taken care of.

9. Make Money Blogging and Turn My Blog into a Job from Home

This has been a goal of mine since I started my blog, and with raising a little one there is nothing I would love more than to work from home now. I hope this year I can find the time and self discipline to make it come true.

10. Write 500 Blog Posts

I have been blogging since April 2019, and I thoroughly enjoy it. In 2021 I published up to 315 blog posts. This year I am going to try and reach 500. Let’s see if I can do it!


This year is going to be one for the books… I can feel it! Let’s get started!

Chapter 1: January 2022….

A Recap of 2021

2021 was overall a good year. There were some changes, some things that remained the same, some let downs, some celebrations and a lot of growth. The biggest thing that happen was God blessing us with the opportunity to start a family, and we are over the moon thankful. ❤️

A Recap for 2021

January
  • Published Mackenzie Goes to Heaven Coloring Book
February
  • My Hubby turned 25!
March
  • My Kitty Rocky turned 1!
  • Changed shifts and became an opener at my job.
  • I celebrated 1 year at my job as a lead preschool teacher.
April
  • Started writing my second children’s book.
  • Paid off my car.
  • Bought a new car.
  • Got Pregnant with our Rainbow Baby. 🌈
May
  • Started Growing Avocado Trees
  • Celebrated Teacher Appreciation Week with my fellow teachers!
  • Celebrated my first Mother’s Day pregnant.
  • We had our dating ultrasound and got to see Baby Bear for the first time.
  • Told my family and close friends I was expecting.
June
  • Made our Big Announcement that our Rainbow Baby was on the way!
  • Made it to the 2nd trimester in my pregnancy!
  • We had sequential screening done and got to see Baby Bear again!
  • Started craving lemons and pickles. Had a feeling we were expecting a Boy.
July
  • Started feeling Baby flutters
  • Won the Dustpan Award for the cleanest classroom at work.
  • Celebrated Rocky’s 1 year adoption!
August
  • Heard Baby Bear’s heartbeat using a Doppler for the first time.
  • Had our anatomy scan and gender reveal. We were excited to find out we were having a Baby Boy!!! 💙
  • I turned 26!
September
  • Went on a Fall themed Girl’s Getaway with my friends Alli and Andrea.
  • Told myself it was okay to start buying baby items.
October
  • Held a virtual Baby Book Party!
  • Honored my babies on Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day
  • Started Decorating the Nursery.
  • Made it to the third trimester!
November
  • Tested Positive for Covid, and had to be quarantined for two weeks
  • Got diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes and was bumped up to a high risk pregnancy.
  • Celebrated 5 years of marriage with my husband.
December
  • Packed our bags for the hospital and prepared for Baby Boy’s arrival.
  • Had our last ultrasound and discovered that Baby Boy has long thick hair.
  • Got diagnosed with thyroid problems associated with pregnancy.
  • Took a few maternity photos.
  • Went on maternity leave.
A Recap of My 2021 Goals
  • Publish My Memoir ❌
  • Pay off my Car ✔️
  • Receive my FLE Certification ❌
  • Lose 20 lbs. ❌
  • Buy a New Car ✔️
  • Publish a Second Children’s Book ❌
  • Read the entire Bible ❌
  • Start a Family ✔️
  • Pay Off My Credit Card ❌
  • Publish a Self Care Journal ❌

Grief & Mercy 6th Blog Post Round Up

It’s round up time again! I am sharing my most liked, commented and viewed posts since my last round up. Check it out!

Sequential Screening During the 12th Week of Pregnancy

In this post I discuss not only the anxiety that comes with going through a pregnancy after loss, but also our experience with different genetic testing.

First Few Little Kicks

Feeling baby kicks for the first time was amazing and nothing like I had ever experienced. ❤️

18 Weeks Pregnant! (Third Pregnancy/ Second Trimester)

This post is about my pregnancy update at 18 weeks.

Gender Reveal! 20 Week Anatomy Scan

Hitting half way in my pregnancy was a huge milestone. Going to our anatomy scan and being able to see baby and all his features was so exciting. My favorite part was finding out what we were having. 🥰

27 Weeks Pregnant! (Third Pregnancy/ Second Trimester)

This post is about my 27 week update of my pregnancy.

Decorating the Nursery/ Organizing Baby’s Things

In a one bedroom apartment, you are very limited on space. However, I love how our bedroom/baby’s nursery turned out 🥰

10 Things I Will Miss About Being Pregnant

For the most part I had a pretty easy pregnancy until I hit the third trimester. In the third trimester I dealt with GD, thyroid problems and covid. In this post, I talk about the things I will soon miss about being pregnant.

Feeling a Little Extra Thankful

Being pregnant on Thanksgiving was a lot of fun. Charles and I cherished our little family of two + a fur baby, before our rainbow baby arrives. We also spent the morning cooking together.

37 Weeks Pregnant! (Third Pregnancy/ Third Trimester)

In this post I give a 37 week pregnancy update, and talk about ways I am preparing for labor.


A Look Ahead…
My Top 10 Favorite Date Night Ideas
DIY Padsicles and Postpartum Care

Merry Christmas 2021

Merry Christmas to all our friends and family! This is our last Christmas as a family of 3… and yes I am including Rocky in our little family. This year I was very hopeful that our Baby Bear would have a Christmas birthday but that just wasn’t meant to be. It’s okay. We know he’ll come when he is good and ready.

This year has been a little crazy, but Charles and I feel so blessed for everything God has taught us this year.

I unfortunately didn’t get to making Christmas cards this year because Christmas just kinda snuck up on me and I ran out of time.

From our family to yours, we hope you have a very Merry Christmas!

– The Rhames (Charles, Kaylee, Baby Bear and Rocky!

ReBlog: I’m Not Sure How I Am Going to Survive the Holidays with Grief in My Heart

For many, the holidays can be an exciting time of year, with family and friend get togethers, gift exchanges, overwhelming generosity, and the reminder of what really matters in life. But to others, the holidays can be a harsh reminder of grief, those gone too soon, and memories that will never take place. I wrote this post back in 2019, after losing two babies. The holidays were an awful reminder for me of the little family my husband and I were trying to start, but instead we lost too soon. 2019 was overwhelmingly challenging. If you are reading this and you too are just having a year of obstacles that just keep adding up, let me first say I’m so sorry. Secondly, I’m here for you if you need to talk and lastly I hope my story and this post gives you some sort of comfort around this holiday season. ❤️


To be honest, I’m not feeling very festive this Christmas. This past year has been a tidal wave of grief that I didn’t plan for, nor did I appreciate. On top of grief I’ve had other struggles including anxiety, depression, weight gain, self doubt and distress. Some might say this past year has made me stronger, and in many ways I believe that. But in this moment, this past year has only made me hate life. 

When you’ve faced trauma, something changes in you. You see things differently, and you know things can get worse because you’ve lived it. When you’ve faced repeated trauma, not only are you traumatized, but also on edge. You’re just waiting for something bad to happen, or something else to go wrong. It’s exhausting, but if you’ve already been blindsided by trauma before, it’s almost an illogical effort to worry and fret for the bad things, in hopes that you will be somewhat prepared if they happen. I have lived this way almost every day this past year, and it’s really not anyway to live. 


THIS CHRISTMAS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DIFFERENT.


I have thought about Mackenzie everyday since she’s been gone. Losing her, has changed my life forever. She made me a mom. Even more, she made me an Angel mommy. This year I envisioned caring for an infant at Christmas time. Charles and I would head over to my parents on Christmas morning. She would be spoiled by her Grandma, and cooing at the cats and her Grandpa. She would be wearing the cutest Christmas jammies, and be smiling from ear to ear. Everything was going to be perfect as I celebrated my first Christmas as a mom. 

Instead this year, I am celebrating Christmas as an Angel mommy. My baby Mackenzie will not be in her Christmas jammies, and my baby Chase will not be warm in my tummy. Instead I will be here loving and missing my babies, while Mackenzie and Chase will be in Heaven celebrating at Jesus’s grand birthday party. They will be having more fun than I can even fathom. As much as I want them here with me, I know they are safe and happy right where they are. 

It won’t be easy… It won’t be easy this Christmas seeing friends and their baby’s first Christmas. But no one said this life will be easy. No one said we are all meant to take the same journey. And no said this world is prefect. So through my tears and heartache, I will get through this Christmas with my family, because my babies deserve to see me have joy my first Christmas as their mom. ❤️

Maternity Photos!

So as many of you know, I’ve stayed pretty on top of documenting and taking photos of my pregnancy and bump progress. One thing I really wish I was able to do, is take some professional maternity photos. For weeks I tried budgeting for photos and we simply just didn’t have the funds. Then I tried reaching out to different family members and friends to take the photos, but it seemed like every time we tried to schedule something there was either bad weather or someone was exposed to Covid.

Thankfully at 35 weeks, my Mama took some time out of her day to take a few cute maternity pictures of us. They turned out adorable and I’m thankful for what we have! 🥰

Baby Bear, we love you so much and can’t wait to meet you! 💕

Top 10 Things I Am Excited to Do After Pregnancy

I feel so incredibly blessed to have gotten pregnant and carry this beautiful miracle baby. However, I am getting to the point in my pregnancy where I am ready to have this baby, meet and snuggle his face, and have my body back. As I near closer and closer to my due date, I keep thinking about the things I am excited to do after being pregnant.

My Top 10 Things I Am Excited to Do After Being Pregnant

  1. Eating Cold Lunch Meat. It has been so hard to have to heat up all my lunch meat to prevent the possibility of listeria. I am really excited to have a cold spicy Italian Footlong from Subway after I have this baby.
  2. Eating Soft Cheeses. I never realized how many soft cheeses I love, until I realized I couldn’t have them during pregnancy. I love queso, feta, goat, ricotta, bleu and all the yummy fancy cheeses.
  3. Caffeine. I miss caffeine. I miss drinking coke. I miss drinking frappes, cappuccinos and all the caffeinated coffees. It’s been nice to not be addicted to caffeinated drinks, but it will be nice to have them again once in a while if I want to.
  4. Bending, Twisting and Moving. I am excited to be able to bend, move and twist any way I want to without getting stuck or struggling to do a grand pile‘.
  5. Sleeping Any Way I Want! I can’t wait for this one. To be able to sleep on my belly or my back sounds so incredible right now. Being obligated to sleep on my sides is getting very old.
  6. Sushi and Chinese Food. I love Chinese food and sometimes sushi. I have missed it and can’t wait to eat a stir fry bowl, crab ragoons and a side of sushi very soon.
  7. Using Beauty and Make Up Products Without Worrying if They Are Safe. I’m getting tired of reading labels, trying to decide if they are safe.
  8. Taking a Hot Bath and Even Using a Hot Tub. One thing that helps me relax is a hot bath. I can’t wait to sit in a hot bath and heal after birth, if I have time between feeding and caring for my baby.
  9. Clothes That Fit. I know it won’t happen right away, but eventually I’m excited to wear clothes that actually fit without showing the bottom of my baby bump.
  10. Reaching for Things. Soon enough I’ll be able to reach for things without whacking my belly on the counter.

Feeling a Little Extra Thankful This Year 🍂

We are feeling a little extra thankful this year! I thank God for my family and friends, my job, my kitty, my health, a roof over my head, clothes on my back, our little bun in the oven and so much more! ❤️

This year we decided to change our Thanksgiving menu a little and have a porterhouse steak instead of turkey!

We also stuck with some classics, including crescent rolls and gravy.

Charcuterie board

Of course, my holiday staple Bruschetta

Homemade mashed potatoes

Stuffing and corn

Green bean casserole

Veggies and hummus

… and cranberry sauce.

I hope you and yours have a Happy Thanksgiving! 🍂

Top 10 Things I Will Miss About Being Pregnant

At 32 weeks pregnant, I am realizing how quickly my pregnancy is coming to an end and we will soon be able to meet our precious baby boy! This pregnancy hasn’t always been easy but I have been very blessed to have gotten this far, and gone through this much.

Here are my Top 10 Things I Will Miss About Being Pregnant
1. The precious baby kicks, rolls and squirms
2. Clear Skin (For some reason these pregnancy hormones gave me the clearest skin of my life)
3. Not having a period
4. People being so nice to me because I’m pregnant
5. The cravings
6. The strong pregnancy smell
7. Large appetite and eating for two
8. Cute and comfy maternity clothes
9. The excitement and anticipation of planning for a new baby
10. The pregnancy glow

Reblog: My Top 10 Favorite Things About Fall!

FALL IS MY FAVORITE!

Fall is my favorite season. I love everything about fall. Anything from the colorful trees, to the doughnuts… I just love it! Fall is my happy place! Since I love fall so much, I have decided to share my top 10 favorite things about Fall.

MY TOP 10 FAVORITE THINGS ABOUT FALL 

  1. Changing Leaves – I love seeing the leaves change in the fall. Here in Michigan, it can be absolutely breath taking seeing red, orange, yellow and brown being displayed through out our beautiful state.
  2. Doughnuts – I would have to admit that doughnuts indeed are my love language. What’s funny is I am really not a bread person. I don’t like a lot of bread but I love the sweet, and fulfilling goodness of a doughnut… especially in the fall.
  3. Sweater and Hoodie Weather – I love to layer and be comfy in my clothes. I get so excited when it is just cool enough that I can throw on a hoodie, or look stylish and comfy in a sweater, leggings, boots and a beanie.
  4. Fall Scents – I get so excited to smell fall, I know sounds crazy to say. But I do. I love smelling pumpkin, cinnamon, apple, smores, vanilla and everything in between. I am one of those people who looks forward to a pumpkin spice latte every fall at Biggby. I am also one of those people who enjoys the new fall scents at Bath and Body Works.
  5. Football Games – I get so hyped for football games at my college. It just feels like fall when I am sitting in the stands, wearing my hoodie and cheering on my team.
  6. Back to School – Even though it may be stressful for some, back to school just puts me in a good mood. It just feels like a new beginning with new goals and dreams I have yet to accomplish. Plus, I love catching all the good back to school supplies deals.
  7. The Apple Orchard – I have many fond memories of going to the apple orchard as a child and as an adult. As a child I can recall picking apples, eating doughnuts, going on hay rides and milking a goat. As an adult I can still recall picking apples, eating doughnuts and even accompanying preschoolers on field trips to the apple orchard.
  8. Fall Vibes – For some reason I feel like here in Michigan, people are a lot happier in the fall than they are in the spring. It’s almost as if many of us Michiganaders enjoy the cool weather of fall right after a hot summer. Whereas we are slightly grumpy in the spring because we are still somewhat holding a grudge after the brutal winter we had just experienced.
  9. I Met My Husband in the Fall – Someday I will likely share our love story, but for now I will share how we met. My husband and I met on September 4th, in Spanish class at our local community college. I was sitting at a table by myself in the front of the class, and he came to sit by me… and the rest is history.
  10. My Wedding Anniversary – My Husband and I got married on November 12th , 2016. it was beautifully fall themed with doughtnut holes, apple cider, fall leaves, pumpkins… you name it, we had it. Fall is a very special time for us.

Thanks for reading my Top 10 Favorite Things About Fall! What are your favorite things about Fall?

ReBlog: Father’s Grieve Too

This month is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. As many of you know I have experienced two losses and now our Rainbow Baby is on the way. Because of this I would like to share some resources I created at the time I was going through my losses in 2019.

Why is it that when a couple loses a baby, society is more concerned of how the mother is doing more than the father? Why is it our society perceives a mother’s grief to be more substantial than a father’s? Why is it implied that father’s don’t grieve too? I believe it all boils down to stereotypes and the old thinking of men have to be strong and hold in their emotions. While women are delicate and emotional. Well, I have news for you. Sure these stereotypes do have some truth, but it’s not right to assume all men and women fall into these cookie cutter images. The reality is men can be strong but so can women. Women can be emotional and so can men. Women aren’t the only ones who grieve for the loss of a loved one.


MOTHER’S CERTAINLY GRIEVE FOR THEIR BABIES WHO ARE GONE TOO SOON… BUT FATHER’S GRIEVE TOO.


After I experienced my first loss, I didn’t realize how my husband grieves. I didn’t doubt that he too was hurting and grieving over the loss of our baby, but I didn’t understand how he grieved. For the most part, Charles grieved in silence. I liked talking about our baby after both our first and second loss. Charles however, didn’t like to talk about it. Charles was more than willing to listen to my thoughts, but wasn’t too willing to share his own. This often turned into a lot of spats because I didn’t understand his grief and he didn’t understand mine. Eventually, we were able to come to a understanding. 

With time, Charles would open up about his grief and sorrow he was feeling. For instance, when we would go to a store and see cute children’s clothing on the racks, he would make comments about how he wishes we could have kids who could wear cute outfits like that. Or when we would see children at a playground or park, he would mention how seeing those kids makes him sad and miss our kids sometimes. 

After awhile, I had come to realize why Charles grieves the way he does. Since our losses were so hard on me emotionally and physically, he didn’t feel right falling apart while I was already a mess. He felt he needed to be the strong one, and help me through. Then, once I was feeling more stable, he was more willing to open up about his emotions and grief. 


IF YOU TOO HAVE A BOYFRIEND, PARTNER OR HUSBAND THAT DOESN’TOUTWARDLY SHOW HIS GRIEF… YOU ARE NOT ALONE.


It can be challenging as we all grief differently. My advice to you would be communicate with one another and allow each other to grieve in your own time. My mistake, and often the reason for many of our spats was that I would push my husband to grieve… and that wasn’t right. With time, patience and communication…. grief starts to become more manageable… and something to experience together rather than apart. 

Reblog: Things to Say and Do After a Woman Has Had a Miscarriage

This month is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. As many of you know I have experienced two losses and now our Rainbow Baby is on the way. Because of this I would like to share some resources I created at the time I was going through my losses in 2019.

1. THE BEST THINGS YOU CAN SAY IS “I LOVE YOU, I’M HERE FOR YOU, AND I’M SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS”

Wouldn’t you agree that after someone dies, there’s not really much of anything that people can say to take the pain away. Even though people don’t like to see you hurt, they also don’t know what to say. And when it comes to experiencing a miscarriage, people really don’t know what to say. They can see your grieving, but they don’t feel the loss nearly as deeply because they didn’t meet or have a bond with the life that was once inside you. Unfortunately, our society does not know how to treat miscarriage as a loss or death.

When I was grieving and at my worst, people didn’t know what to say to me either. There were people who said a lot of the wrong things, and there were a lot of people who just left me alone. But the best things people said to me that were not hurtful, did not offer unsolicited advice, and were sensitive were: “I love you, I’m here for you, I’m sorry for your loss, if you ever want to talk let me know, I’m thinking about you and I’m praying for you.”

2. OFFERING TO CLEAN, COOK AND RUN ERRANDS.

You know how when someone dies, people make you food? Well, I really appreciated this. I don’t know why food is such a comfort, but it is. It seems that when people don’t know what to say they make food. I had a neighbor make dinner for my husband and I, a yummy dish from the Dominican… it was amazing. Our associate pastor and his wife made us chicken, green beans and potatoes…. so good. My sister in law, who worked all day invited us over and made us a feast! Bless her heart. And my Momma provided me with lots of comfort food when I was recovering from surgery. Food doesn’t make everything better, but in that moment of grief when you need something to numb it for awhile, food helps.

3. PAMPERING THE ANGEL MOMMY

Being pampered by friends and family helped me in many ways. My momma bought me a massage right before Mother’s Day. I had no idea how badly I needed it, until my tears and emotions came out all over the table. My husband went out and bought me chicken wings at midnight when I was having a really emotional night and couldn’t sleep. My bestie Alli came over in the middle of the night and we drove all over town eating Oreos. So many people did kind things for me, when I needed it most, I highly recommend this. Of course I also would recommend proceeding with caution and sensitivity.

4. PROVIDING SPACE TO THE GRIEVING COUPLE

I feel this is super important. The Momma is not the only one that experiences a pregnancy loss. Sure, she is the only one that experiences the physical pain of loss, but it’s also important to remember that father’s grieve too. I know of many men, my husband included who not only struggle to help their wives grieve, but also felt somewhat disregarded when it came to their grief and emotions. So, it is super important to allow the grieving couple time and space. Even recommending a getaway could be beneficial… but again proceed with caution.

5. CHECK IN

Hearing the worst news, that your baby is gone is heartbreaking. It honestly numbs you. Looking back now, I barely remember the time in between my ultrasound and my surgery, and the whole month of March is a blur. I do remember laying in bed a lot, eating occasionally, crying until my head hurt and listening to sad music. I also remember having people check in. It’s something I would have never asked for, but truly appreciated. I had friends and family call and text me daily just to check in and make sure I was alive. So many of them opened the doors for communication and gave encouraging words to my tender broken heart. I highly recommend checking in on a friend or loved one if they have suffered a loss. It’s not much, but also not to pushy. Even if they don’t respond it is still nice that people care for you when you are feeling so alone, Sure, there were many times I didn’t want to talk, but I still loved that so many people cared. ❤️

6. BE SENSITIVE WITH YOUR WORDS

This is a big one… and I can’t stress this enough. Please be very careful with your words. After suffering a loss your mind and your heart are in a truly fragile state. It is likely that the grieving mother is heart broken, constantly blaming herself and hating life. So, it is truly important not to contribute to these emotions of anger and sorrow by saying things like “You’re young you’ll have more, or You shouldn’t have stressed yourself out so much, or at least you already have a baby.”

7. HONORING THEIR LOSS

Above anything else I’ve said, I think this is actually the most important. One of the biggest fears that I and so many moms have, is that the child they have lost will be forgotten, as if that little life that lived in them had never existed. It means the world to me when friends and family talk about my baby. It may make me sad and weepy, but also makes me feel loved and my baby never forgotten. I really appreciate it when friends and family are sensitive and saying they are thinking of me on holidays and anniversaries, because they know it’s not going to be an easy day for me. Showing love and honoring the baby’s memory is literally the best thing you can do to help a woman after a miscarriage.


I am not an expert or doctor in anyway, just a woman, a writer and a woman who has lost a baby. I hope these little pieces of advice help in some way. If you are reading this and you have suffered an unimaginable lost, I just want to say I’m so sorry for your loss, reach out to me anytime.