Breakfast Burritos are one of my favorite morning meals and so easy to make! They’re fun to make on a chill Saturday morning or a busy Monday morning while heading out the door.
Check out my Breakfast Burrito Recipe!
What You Need
Medium Frying Pan
Cooking Spray
Tortilla Shells (medium)
2 – 3 Eggs
Shredded Cheese
Bacon Bits (optional)
Mushrooms (optional)
What You Do
First spray cooking spray on frying pan. Place frying pan on a stove burner and set to medium heat.
Next, crack 2-3 eggs into frying pan. Cook until eggs are fluffed and no longer runny.
Then throw in any added ingredients as desired such as sausage, bacon bits, mushrooms, peppers or olives.
Place 2 tortilla shells on a plate. They may have to be folded slightly like tacos in order to fit.
Next sprinkle cheese on eggs and added ingredients. Remove from heat and evenly distribute the ingredients into shells.
Roll tortilla shells into burritos and enjoy!
Tip: add a side of hash browns to your plate of burritos for even more deliciousness.
1. “Act as if what you do makes a difference, it does.” – William James
2. “Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment, until it becomes a memory.” – Dr. Seuss
3. “ Instead of letting your hardships and failures discourage or exhaust you, let them inspire you.” – Michelle Obama
4. Grief is a privileged portal into soul work and transformation.” – Richard Rohr
5. “Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” – Benjamin Franklin
6. “All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.” – Walt Disney
7. “You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.“ – Cayla Mills
8. “She remembered who she was and the game changed.” – Lalah Delilah
9. “Be a rainbow in someone else’s cloud. “ – Maya Angelou
10. “Life is like a camera. You focus on what’s important, capture the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don’t work out… take another shot.” – Author Unknown
Hi Friends! Wow, it’s been awhile since I took a look at this list. As many of you know, I love making bucket lists. I usually have goals for the year and even summer bucket lists. I remember writing this list out in July of 2020. My life has certainly changed a little since then. Let’s take a look at the list and see what I’ve accomplished so far…
MY GOALS…
1. HAVE AT LEAST TWO KIDS (THROUGH BIRTH, ADOPTION OR WHATEVER THE LORD HAS PLANNED)
This goal is half completed or completed depending on how you look at it. I have a total of 3 kids, but only one of them living earth-side while the other two are in Heaven. My husband and I would like to have another baby at some point, either through pregnancy or adoption. But we are open to whatever the Lord has planned.
2. WRITE 5 CHILDREN’S BOOKS (I THINK PUBLISHING AT LEAST ONE A YEAR SOUNDS GOOD)
I’ve written 2 children’s book but only published one. So, I should get going on this goal.
3. PUBLISH MY MEMOIR (I BETTER HAVE THIS DONE BY THEN)
This has not happened yet. But every year I’m working on it and putting myself one step closer to publishing.
4. MOVE UP IN MY FIELD WORKING WITH CHILDREN (WHETHER THAT BE JUST MORE RESPONSIBILITY OR A PROMOTION… I’M UP FOR ANYTHING)
I technically completed this goal because in March of 2021, I was promoted to opener at my childcare center. However, At this time in my life I’m not really sure if and when I will return to the workforce. I am really enjoying the stay-at-home mom life. If I do return back to my field of child development/ early childhood, I hope to move up and test the waters in curriculum design or even administration. For now I’m going to continue to dabble in children’s literacy.
5. MOVE INTO A HOUSE (I WOULD PREFER HERE IN MICHIGAN, BUT WE’LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS)
I mean we have started the pre approval process and looking around. We are very close to completing this goal and hope to have a house by the end of the year.
6. GET A DOG (SOMEDAY SOON!)
Eventually, I would like to have a dog. But I would like to focus first on homesteading and getting some chickens.
7. MAKE MONEY BLOGGING (SOMEHOW AND SOME WAY I WOULD HOPE TO MAKE A SMALL INCOME OFF OF MY HOBBY)
I still would like to do this, but I’m not sure how. I also feel like my niche is changing and I’m not sure what I truly want to focus on.
8. MAKE MY DOG A BRAND AMBASSADOR (FOR REAL, I WANT TO TRY THIS)
This would be fun. It’s not a super important goal to me anymore, but if we do get a dog, I’d like to try it.
9. GO ON A WEEK LONG VACATION TO SOME PLACE WARM (FORT LAUDERDALE, OR MYRTLE BEACH SOUND NICE)
Yes, yes, and yes. This hasn’t happened since the year we got married. We are due for a vacation. We should start planning!
10. HAVE 5,000 FOLLOWERS ON MY BLOG (TELL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT MY BLOG YA’LL!)
I have over 300 followers now. Slow and steady wins the race right?
11. GET A CAT (THE DOG WILL NEED A FRIEND)
I did get a cat! His name is Rocky! We adopted him in 2020, shortly after I wrote this original post! He’s the best little fur ball!
12. PAY OFF HALF MY STUDENT LOANS (GET THEM THINGS PAID OFF)
This hasn’t happened yet because of the pandemic.
13. ATTEND AN NCFR OR NAEYC CONFERENCE (NOW, THIS WOULD BE FUN)
I still think this would be fun! I should look into when the next conference is!
14. WRITE A SELF CARE JOURNAL FOR WOMEN (WE ALL NEED A LITTLE DAILY SELF CARE)
I have the beginnings of a rough draft tucked away in a filing cabinet. I should probably dig that out…
15. VISIT NEW YORK CITY (I WANT TO SEE TIME SQUARE, GROUND ZERO, ONE WORLD TRADE CENTER, THE STATUE OF LIBERTY AND ALL THE OTHER THINGS)
I still really want to do this. Even if it’s not before I’m 30, hopefully before I die.
16. BE ON THE TODAY SHOW (I KNOW THIS SOUNDS CRAZY, BUT I THINK IT WOULD BE COOL… WHO KNOWS IF IT WILL EVER HAPPEN)
I still think this would be cool. I have no idea how it would happen though.
17. GIVE A TED TALK (IT WOULD BE TERRIFYING, BUT I’D LOVE TO DO IT.
Same thing as the Today show. Don’t know how it would happen, but it would be cool.
18. WRITE 1,000 BLOG POSTS (THIS SHOULD BE DO-ABLE)
I’m on my way! Written about 415, so at least 585 or so to go!
19. LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST
This goal is always In process.
20. BE A GREAT WOMAN, MOM, WIFE, DAUGHTER, SISTER, FRIEND, TEACHER, AUTHOR AND HUMAN
One day at a time. Always striving to be the best I can be.
A year ago, my baby whom I prayed for, cried for and hoped for came into the world. He was absolutely perfect. He cried when my midwife laid him on my chest. He had ten fingers and ten toes, with my eyes and Daddy’s nose.
This past year, I’ve watched my Baby Bear grow from newborn, to infant to toddler. He is everything I’ve hoped for, yet nothing I’ve expected. He’s the perfect mix of his Daddy and I.
At 1 year old Matthew has…
85% mastered walking and is running about 6 steps before falling.
100% mastered crawling
Climbing EVERYTHING!
Singing, dancing and clapping
Talking saying words like momma, da, nana, wa-wa, night night, hi, hey, more, and done
Signing, saying more, all done, help, please and thank you
Wearing size 12-18 month clothes.
Our little buddy has been such a blessing to our lives. We love him so much and thank God for each and everyday. I’m so excited to continue to watch him grow. ❤️
To Matthew…
One year. I know you won’t remember the first year of your life, but I will; cause it’s been the best year of mine. Happy 1st Birthday my sweet boy. I thank God for blessing me with such a sweet, goofy, strong, determined, charismatic son. God knew what He was doing when he chose us to be your parents. This past year has changed me, challenged me and stretched me in ways I didn’t know were possible. I loved watching you grow from newborn, to infant to toddler, and I can’t wait for the years ahead. You have been the best gift. Love you and thank you for being you! 💕
My name is Kaylee. If you’re new around here… you may not know much about me. Allow me to introduce myself. I am 24 years old and started this blog about a year and a half ago. I love writing and helping others through my stories of loss and hardship. However, I thought I would mix it up a bit.
Today, I am going to be sharing a few humorous stories about how I somehow seem to catch things on fire. The ironic thing is, my Daddy is a retired firefighter but for some reason… fire just seems to follow me. So, sit back, relax and enjoy these humorous stories.
FIRE STORY 1: THE FIRE IN THE OVEN
When Charles and I first got married, we lived in a small one bedroom apartment. One evening after work I decided to bake some chicken wings, and chopped carrots, onions and potatoes. Everything was going great, until I smelled smoke.
I was relaxing in the living room and went to the oven to check it out. The oven did not have a window, so I had to open the door. When I opened the door there was about a four inch flame in corner of the oven. I panicked and yelled for Charles. We didn’t know what to do, and looked ridiculous running around the kitchen.
He told me to calm down and find the fire extinguisher I handed it to him and he used it on the fire. Whelp, that was the end of our dinner. I then called the fire department to have them come check it out. I also called my mom, who panicked and came to help us.
When the fire department arrived, the first one into our apartment was a rookie firefighter and he was so excited for his first fire. He looked very disappointed however, when he realized the fire was small and already out.
The firefighters helped us air out all the smoke, and my mom gave us some money so we could eat at McDonalds for dinner. We figured out later that some grease from the chicken fell on the bottom of the oven and caused the flame. We also discovered that the smoke detector did not work, so in a way it was a blessing that things happened the way they did.
FIRE STORY 2: THE FIRE IN THE MICROWAVE
So, some time last spring I was really into homemade popcorn. I loved air popping the kernels myself, and melting my own butter. One afternoon when I was melting the butter, I heard a really strange sound coming from the microwave. I’m not exaggerating when I say it almost sounded like a radioactive popping sound. I only melted the butter for 10 seconds. I looked around the microwave and didn’t see anything.
About three days later, I made more popcorn. I melted butter and heard the sound again. I looked around the microwave and saw a gray spot on the side near a vent. I thought it was weird but just figured it was something that splattered earlier.
The next day I made popcorn for me and Charles. I decided to make microwave popcorn this time. As it was cooking and had about a minute to go, I heard Bang! Bang! Bang! coming from the microwave. I looked through the window and noticed sparks coming from the inside. I immediately pushed stop, opened the door and unplugged it.
I tried to remove the popcorn bag, and a third of it was black, burnt and smoking. I put it in the sink and ran the water. I looked inside the microwave and one of the vents was black with a hole in it.
Charles then came into the kitchen and said “Girl, what did you do?” I told him what happened and tried to calm myself down but also started laughing. We were without a microwave for about three days until we were finally able to get a new one. We discovered that somehow a build up of grease and butter likely splattered into the vent and caught it on fire.
FIRE STORY 3: THE FIRE FROM THE GLUE GUN
Sometime last winter, I decided to pull out my glue gun to work on some projects. To be honest, I can’t even remember what I was working on. Anyway, I pulled out the glue gun, and realized the cord would not reach the table if I plugged it into the wall. So, I plugged it into the surge protector on the floor… big mistake.
As I was in my own little craft world, hot gluing away, I was focused close to my project with my face near the glue gun. I sat up to stretch my neck and as I was sitting up I heard Pow! I jolted back into the couch and watched the huge spark from the glue gun turn into smoke. Half my living room went dark and I realized I blew a fuse.
I tried to compose myself enough to call my dad… since he is a retired firefighter. He told me to unplug everything and call maintenance. Everything ended up being fine, and I later learned that you’re not supposed to plug heating elements into surge protectors… lesson learned.
FIRE STORY 4: THE FIRE AT THE CABIN.
Not going to lie, this is probably my favorite fire story because of all the shenanigans that occurred. I certainly saved the best for last.
On Halloween of 2014, my best friend Andrea and I went to her family’s cabin. It was honestly a fun trip, despite everything that happened. The next day on November 1st, Andrea and I drove to the town store that was famous for its’ jerky and was at least a half hour away. Before leaving, I asked Andrea if we should unplug the space heater. She said we shouldn’t have to because it was relatively safe and could be left on for hours if need be.
Before leaving, I prayed everything would be ok, and then we took off to the store. While at the store I bought a bunch of jerky for my family and Charles since we had just started dating. We spent probably 20 minutes at the store, and then headed back to the cabin.
After unloading and arriving in the cabin, we both smelled smoke. Andrea checked the kitchen and all was good. We both headed into the bedroom and noticed the space heater was not on even though we left it on. We immediately went to the outlet, and noticed that the plug melted into the outlet. Andrea quickly unplugged it and said “Thank God”
After putting away the meat and getting in comfy clothes, I called my parents to tell them what had happened. My dad answered and after hearing my story, told me he was glad everything was okay. I hung up from him and helped Andrea open windows to get smoke out of the cabin.
A few minutes later my mom called in a panic and said “Kaylee you really should call the fire department and have them check out the wall. That is how our house fire started. There was fire in the wall.” After thinking about it, she was right. I went into the bedroom and touched the wall just above the outlet. It was still hot. I then hung up from my mom, told Andrea what my mom said and called 911.
When the dispatcher asked for the cabin address, Andrea read it to me off her gps on her phone. After hanging up from the dispatcher, Andrea and I scrambled to put our bras and other belongings away since they were laid out all over. As you can guess, we were not expecting company.
After putting our things away, Andrea and I stood on the front porch waiting for the fire department. A few minutes later, the dispatcher called me back and said “Hi, I’m sorry but the firefighters are having a hard time finding your cabin. Where are you located?” I repeated the address to her and she told me the firefighters are at that location and it seems to be the wrong house. She then suggested I run down to the end of the driveway to see if I could see them. Once I headed down the driveway and reached the road, I looked both ways. There were no signs of the fire engine.
I continued talking to the dispatcher trying to explain where we were at. She asked “Are you sure that is the address” I then remembered seeing the address numbers on the porch and read them off to her. Come to find out we were a number off and they really did go to the wrong house. Oops. Andrea stayed on the front porch and I headed back down the driveway trying to spot the fire engine. Once I spotted the fire engine slowly coming down the road, I told the dispatcher and hung up.
Once the fire fighters pulled into the driveway, Andrea and I decided we needed to just play dumb and innocent because we were already super embarrassed. When the first firefighter got out of the rig he said “You guys need to learn how to read an address.” He was so mad, but he had a point. At the time I felt so bad but now I can laugh about it.
They checked out the cabin to make sure it was safe. They checked out the wood stoves as well as the outlet where the fire happened. They took a thermal imaging camera to check the temperature of the wall and it was around 100° and going down. It was likely just a faulty plug. By then I knew we were going to be okay.
As the firefighters left, we apologized multiple times for the confusion and thanked them for their help. Later that night Andrea called her dad and told him what happened. To this day we still laugh about this story.
It’s 2023! Happy New Year friends! I can’t believe my baby is almost a year old! Where did the time go??? Any who… this year I’ve got plans, like I always do. I always like to reach big for the goals I set for myself each year. However, I also want to bring into the new year something I learned from 2022, and that is flexibility. Last year, I was challenged to be flexible with my time, money, plans, parenting and expectations. This year I’m going to try and continue to keep that flexibility at times, as hard as it is for me not to be a control freak.
This year I am setting 10 goals for myself. These are 10 goals that I hope to be intentional as well as manageable. Without further or do, here are my goals for 2023!
My Goals for 2023
1. Buy a House
This is the big one. This is the one I want to come true the most! We have been saving up and looking for the perfect starter home for our little family. My hope is to find our home and move in before summer, if not by the end of the year.
2. Go on a Family Trip
I would like to go on at least one family trip this year, even if it’s just a day trip. A few ideas I have include the zoo, northern Michigan, Great a Wolf Lodge, the apple orchard, the dairy farm or Mackinac.
3. Publish one of my Books
I said this in my last post. This goal will be on this list until I complete it!
4. Decorate my New Home
This one goes along with my first goal. But it’s honestly what I am most excited about with getting a new home. We get to decorate and make it our own!
5. Get my Eyes Checked
Now, at first glance you guys might think this is a dumb goal. But give me a moment to explain. The last time I had my eyes checked was in 2018. It’s been 5 years. I need my eyes checked and I really need new glasses. I’m just terrified of going to the eye doctor, for reasons I will share in a future post. So this is a big deal for me, but I gotta do it.
6. Start Our Homesteading Lifestyle
I’ve mentioned in previous posts how I am very interested in homesteading and would eventually like to have my own garden/green house, chicken coup with laying egg hens, and a goat or two for goat milk. I realize I can’t begin this lifestyle until we are moved into our new home. However, I would like to at least begin the process of homestead living by continuing to research and maybe even start buying supplies.
7. Host a Party or Family Gathering
As we wrap up the holidays, I have thought about how much I would one day love to host a family gathering and or party at my own home in the coming year. I have a few ideas including a house warming party, Easter Dinner, Mother’s Day, Christmas or New Year’s Eve. Depending on when we move and get settled in will depend on when all this happens, but I simply can’t wait!
8. Write 515 Blog Posts
I know I didn’t reach my goal of 500 blog posts in 2022, but I hope to reach this one in 2023. With my little one being a little more mobile and independent, I’m hopeful this will allow me to dive back into my hobby of writing.
9. Implement Fun and Structured Activities with my Son
As Matthew quickly emerges from baby to toddler, I would like to start doing more intentional, structural activities throughout the year. I have a few ideas like sensory bins/bags, art projects and outside activities.
10. Start Developing Our Homeschool Curriculum
As many of you know, I have degrees in Early Childhood Education and Child and Family Development. This is my field. I have always wanted to develop my own toddler/preschool curriculum.
My Word of the Year…
This year I have decided to include a word of the year. Something I want to ponder, remember and reflect on as each month passes this year. I asked my husband to think of a word for me. I said to think of the first word that comes to his head, and he said Resilience. I instantly thought it was perfect! No matter what this year brings, I’m going to have faith, trust in Jesus and come out with resilience.
It’s that time of year again! On New Year’s Eve, day 365 of a 365 page book I take a moment to reflect on the past year and all it has taught me.
The biggest thing I think I can take away from this year is that motherhood is HARD, but oh so rewarding. I mean from the moment it turned 2022, I was in the hospital being induced, exhausted and discouraged. A year later I lay in my own bed, still exhausted as my kid doesn’t believe in sleep, but oh so incredibly blessed.
I’d like to start something new as I end this year and begin a new one. I want to have a word of the year. Something I can ponder and reflect as I navigate the ups and downs of the year. I’m not going to give away my word for 2023 until tomorrow. But for 2022, I think my word would have to be flexibility. So many things did not go as planned in 2022. And I can be high strong and a major worrier/control freak. Therefore, this has challenged me to be more flexible with parenting, my time, sickness, money, expectations and so many other things. You know what, that’s okay. I think it’s a lesson I needed. Things don’t always go as planned and that’s okay.
Here’s a look back at my 2022!
January
Gave birth to our rainbow baby Matthew.
Started my breastfeeding journey.
February
Quit my job and became a stay-at-home mom.
Charles turned 26.
March
Transitioned our son from bassinet to crib.
Rocky turned 2!
Developed Postpartum Anxiety
April
Matthew started rolling over.
Matthew started PT.
Charles started a new job.
May
We moved out of our apartment and in with family.
Matthew started solid foods.
Developed Postpartum Thyroiditis
Celebrated my 3rd Mother’s Day
June
Matthew started sitting unassisted
Matthew said his first word “mama”.
July
Matthew got a swimming pool.
August
I turned 27.
Charles and I went out on a seafood date.
Matthew started crawling and pulling himself up on the same day!
Matthew graduated from PT.
September
Took a family trip to the farm/apple orchard.
Had dinner with some friends/extended family.
October
Matthew started walking.
Matthew was Tigger for his first Halloween.
Matthew got his first pair of shoes.
November
Matthew went sledding for the first time.
Matthew touched snow for the first time.
Matthew learned to wave.
We celebrated Thanksgiving.
We watched the U of M and Ohio State Game with family.
December
Matthew started clapping.
Blizzard of 2022.
We celebrated Matthew’s 1st Christmas.
Now, I’d like to take a minute to reflect on the goals I met this year!
2022 Goals
1. GIVE BIRTH TO OUR BEAUTIFUL RAINBOW BABY!
This goal was met immediately in January, when we welcomed our precious son into the world!
2. START A SMALL BUSINESS ON THE SIDE
I did not meet this goal, but am continuing to plan and brainstorm on what I would like my small business to be when the time comes!
3. FINISH READING THE ENTIRE BIBLE
I did not meet this goal either. I stopped reading somewhere in Isaiah. However, that doesn’t mean I have stopped reading completely, I read at least a verse to a chapter everyday and meditate on it in hopes to find wisdom in how to apply it to my daily life.
4. MOVE TO A BIGGER PLACE TO FIT OUR FAMILY OF 4!
This goal is still in process. As many of you know, we made the decision to move in with family earlier this year. And after much time, hard work and saving up; we have now started the pre approval process and house hunting season. It’s a little nerve racking but very exciting.
5. PUBLISH 1 OF MY BOOKS
I think this goal will be on the list until it happens. Guys, I want to publish a book, I really do. I guess at times, I just doubt myself and let life get in the way. I don’t know why. Maybe I just need a swift kick in the pants to get things moving along!
6. PAY OFF HALF OF MY CAR
Did I pay off half my car? No. But I paid off a huge chunk! Maybe 25%. I’m pretty dang proud of that!
7. KNIT CHARLES A SWEATER
I didn’t reach this goal, cause when we moved, I packed away his sweater and my crochet stuff. Silly me. Next year hopefully.
8. CREATE A WILL
I didn’t reach this goal, but I feel I did get this goal started as I’ve had the hard conversations this past year about what and how I want things done when the Lord calls me home,
9. MAKE MONEY BLOGGING AND TURN MY BLOG INTO A JOB FROM HOME
Ya, still not sure about this goal. But I have been looking at different virtual jobs like tutoring or call centers.
10. WRITE 500 BLOG POSTS
So, I’ve written 408 posts. I was 92 posts short. But that’s okay, I’m still proud of what I’ve accomplished on top of becoming a new mom,
Wow, this year has been a whirlwind. Another 365 page book of my life has come to a close. I’m tired but I’m blessed. Can’t wait for the blessings and even the challenges that may lay ahead in the coming year.
Growing up, I had always been familiar with the concept of Heaven and faith. Having an older brother who died as an infant, is what first introduced me to faith. Later in life, of course I had grandparents, and acquaintances who passed on as well, and though it was sad, these moments built my faith. However, my faith was shaken, challenged, and changed after I miscarried my babies.
When I was little, my mom used to find pennies all the time… in fact she still does. I on the other hand don’t find them much at all. When ever my mom would find them on the ground, she would tell me “It’s a penny from Heaven” or “Matthew is watching over me.” I thought it was so cool how my mom would find pennies so often.
Recently, my husband and I went to the store. I was having quite a rough day as I didn’t feel good, I was stressed from work, and just kinda blah. When we got out of the car I remembered praying for things just to get better and for me to feel better. When I opened the car and stepped on the asphalt, I heard a cling. I thought I was hearing things so I grabbed my purse and shut the door. I heard the cling again. I looked down and didn’t see anything. Charles asked me a question and walked around the car. As I started to walk away from the car, I heard a cling again and looked down. I found a penny.
For the rest of our trip in the store, I held the penny in my hand. It was a penny from Heaven. Just a little token from above that put a smile on my face, when I was having a not so good day. I was also reminded of my babies. I was reminded how even though they aren’t physically with me, they are always in fact with me in spirit.
As the year 2022 quickly draws to an end, I have been reflecting on the many wonderful memories that were made with my family and friends. Of course, the best moment that happened in 2022 was when we had our beautiful son Matthew and I officially became a mama earth-side.
This fall however, my little family and I made some wonderful memories that were perhaps some of my favorites of 2022.
When Matthew turned 8 months old in September, we visited a friends farm where my Aunt Patty took some fun family photos of us. We all loved seeing the cow named Norman and had fun posing in front of the various barns and tractors.
The photos turned out absolutely adorable and I will cherish them always.
In October we headed to a local apple orchard where we took Matthew to try doughnuts, pick out some apples and explore some pumpkin gourds.
We even had a chance to take Matthew to the petting zoo where for the first time he saw goats, a sheep, a pony, a donkey and a cow.
All in all, our time this fall visiting the farm and local apple orchard was a lot of fun and something I’d like to continue in the years ahead. 🍎
The following blog post is the story of my son Matthew’s birth. This story recounts my experience of a 4 day induction, failed epidural, and the anxiety and excitement of bringing my rainbow baby into the world. I hope you enjoy the story below, and I promise… this story has a very happy ending. ❤️
On Thursday December 30th at 5am, I woke up feeling excited and nervous. Life before we knew it was about to change forever. Today is the day… I thought as I looked in the bathroom mirror at my 39 week pregnant belly. Today is the day I could meet my baby… I had waited 9 months for this moment. But when you really think about it, I had actually waited more like 3 years for this moment. I first got pregnant in January of 2019. After both of my losses in 2019, I had been praying for my rainbow baby. It had been a long journey. My entire life I have felt called to be a mom, and now my dream was coming true.
We left for the hospital around 7am. We were scheduled for a 39 week induction at our local hospital. We grabbed our bags, packed the car and said goodbye to our fur baby Rocky. As we pulled out of our apartment parking lot, my husband and I prayed. We thanked God for a healthy pregnancy, a pregnancy I thought wouldn’t happen even in my wildest dreams. We thanked God for the day ahead and prayed that his will would be done. Nerves of excitement filled the car as we headed to the hospital to start our next adventure.
When we got to the hospital we met Alli at the front door. Due to current Covid regulations, I was only allowed to have the two same people with me during my labor and delivery. I obviously wanted Charles there. We also asked Alli to be there because 1) she’s always been interested in seeing and being apart of a birth. 2) Alli knows me pretty well and I knew she would be willing to advocate for me if need be. And 3) she has lots of medical knowledge being a paramedic, and that gave me some comfort knowing she was there. Alli brought me breakfast as we entered the hospital. We went through the Covid screening and made our way up to Labor and Delivery,
When we checked in to L & D, they brought us up to the Antepartum section of the Mother and Baby floor. We got settled into a room, where a nurse asked me an hour worth of questions and hooked me and baby up to the monitors. After baby was monitored for an hour, and everything was looking fine, a nurse came in to talk to us and get things started.
The midwife came in and checked my cervix. I was dilated a centimeter on the outside but the inside of my cervix was still closed. I was also about 50% effaced. She suggested that it be best that I start the induction using the Cytotec drug. This was a pill inserted near my cervix that would dissolve and help it to ripen and dilate. The only issue with this pill was if I started having contractions too fast, then it wouldn’t be ideal to continue the drug. At 10:45am we started the first dose of Cytotec. In four hours I would get checked to see if it had done what it was supposed to and made changes to my cervix.
Four hours later, a midwife came in to check my cervix. I was disappointed to hear that my cervix hadn’t dilated anymore, and the effacement stayed about the same. Since the Cytotec didn’t progress my labor, they considered giving me another dose. However, after monitoring baby and my contractions for the past 4 hours they decided against another dose. The monitors showed that I was having too many contractions coming too close together. These contractions could be dangerous. Since the contractions weren’t strong enough to progress labor they could easily put me or baby into distress. My nurses advised that we shouldn’t do another dose of the Cytotec and try something different before starting Pitocin to advance the dilation process.
After talking to the midwife, we decided to try something called Cervadil. It was a little piece of plasstic with a string that is inserted and left near the cervix for 12 hours. It did the same thing as the Cytotec pill except if this drug caused too many contractions we could pull it out, whereas with the pill we couldn’t. Knowing that this intervention could take 12 hours to work, I realized I would not be having my baby that day. I was discouraged but tried to tell myself it was for the best and that he may come on Friday.
After receiving the first dose of the Cervadil, we were moved to the Labor and Delivery floor where they finally had an opening. I ordered room service while Alli and Charles got Chinese. After eating dinner Alli and I turned on some 2000’s music, and had a dance party and did exercises on the birth balls in hopes of getting things going. In the midst of our dance party, one of the midwives walked in on us. She was impressed with our eagerness to get the baby out. As the afternoon turned into evening, we decided to call it a day and get some rest.
At 3:30am, I met the new midwife on duty. It had been 12 hours since the first dose of Cervadil. I was feeling contractions every 2 to 3 minutes but they were manageable at a 4 on the pain scale. The midwife asked if I wanted to be checked to see if I was progressing. I agreed and she checked me. This cervical check was particularly uncomfortable as the midwife removed the medicine before performing the check. The medicine also made everything feel quite raw, which was not ideal. I was measuring at 2.5 centimeters and 50% effaced. I was thankful we were making some progress but sad it was moving so incredibly slow. We discussed the next course of treatment, and decided to do another dose of the Cervadil for another 12 hours because that is what seemed to be working. I wasn’t excited about this treatment as it was very uncomfortable, but if it meant that I would progress then I was all for it.
I woke up again Friday around 6am. I was hungry, uncomfortable and eager for things to get moving. I talked to family and friends over the phone and through messages, updating them on the progress of my labor. At around 7am I ordered breakfast, and Charles headed out to go feed our kitty Rocky. Alli left around 4am to get some sleep, and returned later in the morning. I tried my best not to feel angry, sad or discouraged. I was hopeful that this was the day. New Year’s Eve was the day I would have my baby. I spent the day, rocking on the birth balls, pacing the room, sitting in the bath, and anything else I could think of to get labor moving. Due to covid numbers being so high in the hospital I was in, I was not allowed to leave the room. I wasn’t allowed to walk the halls to progress labor. Being stuck in the same hospital room for hours was starting to make me go stir crazy, but I tried not to let that get me down.
In early afternoon, I started feeling a lot of pain in my groin. I was hopeful that it meant my cervix was dilating, but at every check, I was told the same thing. “You’re 2-2.5 centimeters dilated and 50% effaced.” It was so discouraging. After every check I cried partly from being raw and partly from feeling so discouraged. I asked for Tylenol to help with pain and my nurses said Tylenol wouldn’t do much to help, so they recommended morphine. I was given one dose of morphine in my leg. Within minutes I felt like I was on a pile of clouds floating through the sky, then I was out.
Around 3pm on Friday afternoon I met a new midwife. Her name was Jen. At first I felt like she was too nice to be a midwife. But after talking with her, I realized she was a genuinely nice person. I also liked that she was a go getter and willing to help me progress my labor by providing a variety of options. After getting checked and only progressing to 2.5 centimeters, Jen suggested we try a balloon catheter in my cervix to mechanically dilate my cervix to at least 4 centimeters. This intervention sounded very uncomfortable, but I was willing to try it because I trusted Jen and wanted to try anything to be one step closer to meeting my baby.
At 3:30pm I was given morphine to help prepare for the insertion of the balloon catheter. Within minutes I felt overly drowsy again. Jen came in shortly after to insert the catheter. She suggested I go to the bathroom before the procedure. While walking to the bathroom I was stumbling and falling asleep on the toilet. Considering how the morphine effected me, Jen did not feel comfortable giving me the catheter at that time since I was minimally conscious. She told me to sleep it off and we would try again later.
At 6pm, Jen came back to insert the catheter. Thankfully I was able to sleep the morphine off and was feeling a lot more coherent. Jen used lidocaine to help with the insertion process and it made things more comfortable. I braced myself for a lot of pain, when it actually wasn’t nearly as bad as getting the Cervadil. Once the catheter was in I decided to take a bath and relax. My contractions started to gradually speed up, and the bath water made things feel a lot better.
The balloon catheter stayed in throughout the night and I continued to have contractions that were mild in pain. I felt a mix of discouragement and hope as I prayed this would get things to progress sooner rather than later. I fell asleep around 11pm. I told myself if I wake up before midnight, I will turn on the tv and watch the ball drop. At 12:01am I was startled awake by fireworks bursting in the sky throughout the city. Alli and Charles woke up as well and we rang in 2022 in the hospital. I was slightly disappointed I didn’t have my baby in 2021. But I tried to stay positive and think about how wonderful it would be to start the year 2022 with my beautiful baby boy.
Saturday morning around 6am my nurse and midwife came in to remove the catheter. I told them I was sure there was probably no progress as I didn’t feel an increase in pain. I went to the bathroom and while in there I noticed blood in my underwear. At first it kind of startled me as I hadn’t seen blood down there in 9 months, besides some very minor spotting throughout my pregnancy. But then I got excited as I knew this was progress and things were starting to happen.
The midwife removed the catheter and checked my cervix. I was 3 centimeters dilated and 80% effaced. My bag of waters were starting to bulge and things were actually looking up. My midwife, nurses and I decided to make up a plan. Since I was finally at 3 centimeters we were able to start pitocin which would hopefully kick start some stronger contractions. By 9:15am they started the pitocin, and I went back to the bathroom to labor in the tub. The excitement of having my baby soon was starting to sink in again. Today could be the day! I could have a January 1st baby!
At first the Pitocin seemed to be working. My contractions increased in frequency and became slightly more intense. As the day progressed and my nurses increased my dosage of Pitocin, my contractions slowed down. This was disheartening. I was so sure that once I started Pitocin it would put me into active labor, but it didn’t. That afternoon, I remember just laying in my hospital bed sobbing. Why is this taking so long? Is it my mindset? Is it my body? Does my body not know what to do? Is baby not ready to come out? I was overwhelmed with emotions and hormones. I was tired of being patient and all I wanted to do was hold my baby. Charles held me as I let all my emotions go. He told me I was strong and I could get through it. Alli encouraged me and said I was doing amazing. My parents comforted me over the phone, and told me they were proud of me. My nurses told me they knew it was hard but I was strong and they were proud of me too.
By mid afternoon, my midwife, nurses and I all came up with a new plan… again. We decided to stop the Pitocin since it didn’t seem to be doing anything and we didn’t want to put baby into distress. My nurses encouraged me to eat something since I hadn’t eaten since starting the Pitocin at 9:15am. After eating dinner around 6pm, my midwife Lanie recommended that we try the Cytotec drug again. She said since I had progressed since first trying the drug, it may be just what my body needed in order to kick start labor. Around 7pm, I was given my second dose of the Cytotec drug. Still feeling discouraged, I ate some fudge that Charlie bought me and watched Friends on Alli’s tablet. It was the episode where Rachel has her baby… which I deemed very appropriate. Throughout the night, my nurse Nichole gave me encouragement. I had the same night nurse every night I was there, so she had seen me through a lot already. Nichole brought me popsicles, 7 Up, a fan so I could get a good night sleep, and even drew me a picture to color as a focus point for when I eventually started pushing,
At 11pm, I had another cervical check. I remained the same at 3 centimeters dilated and 80% effaced. My midwife said she could tell my cervix was starting to change and she was pretty confident my baby would have a January 2nd birthday. I was tired of getting my hopes up and didn’t believe her. I had a third dose of the Cytotec drug and was encouraged to get some sleep. At this point, I was starting to wonder if I was going to end up having a c-section. I didn’t know how much more my baby or I could take. I dozed off for about an hour then was wide awake. I stared at the ceiling and listened to my baby’s steady heartbeat on the monitor. It was 1am, and I was feeling restless. I got up and walked around my hospital room rubbing my belly. The more I moved the more often I would have contractions but they just wouldn’t increase in intensity. I called my mom and talked to her for about 45 minutes. She told me how strong and proud she was of me. I confided in her how defeated and tired I was. I so wanted to believe I was almost there but I really didn’t know that for sure. At a quarter to 2, my mom encouraged me to try and get a little more rest.
I laid back down in bed and played the Greatest Showman on my phone. I still had yet to see the movie, but heard it was good. About 15 minutes into the movie, I started feeling pain, The pain started to increase rather quickly and I realized this was a good sign. I was starting to have frequent strong contractions again. Contractions continued for the next hour at a 6 on the pain scale, about 1-3 minutes apart. I started moaning and gripping the side of my bed which woke up Alli and Charles. I felt kind of bad as they had been troopers through the whole thing and I really didn’t want to disturb them unless this was the real deal.
At 2:55am, my midwife came in to check my cervix. She wanted to see if I had progressed anymore and if I needed another dose of the Cytotec. She said she noticed my contractions getting stronger and more frequent on the monitors. As she checked me she said “Umm, I’m not sure. Well I would say you are about 3 or 4 centimeters dilated and yeah, I definitely notice some change in your cervix… oh shoot.” I instantly felt a pop, a gush and some relief. “I just broke her water, I was not trying to do that.” She said to my nurse Nichole. I was actually excited my water broke. I knew that meant somehow, some way my baby would be born in the next 24 hours. It was January 2nd and I told myself yet again Today could be the day! Today could be the day I meet my baby.
I spent the next two hours trying to be brave. Contractions were coming every 1-2 minutes and getting more and more intense. At times they were regular but at other times I would have 3 small contractions back to back and one big contraction. I gripped the bed and took deep breaths. The pain was intense and it was hard for me to think. Charles and Alli took turns squeezing my hips and rubbing my back. By 5am I couldn’t handle it anymore and hit my call button, I requested to see my nurse and see if I could get something for pain, and when I could get the epidural.
At 5:15am, my nurse Nichole came in and told me that she spoke with my midwife and that it was a good time to administer the epidural if I was up for it. I asked if it was too early since I was only 3 or 4 centimeters dilated. They said it wasn’t and by getting the epidural I could get some rest. I agreed, and they called the anesthesiologist to administer the epidural.
In between contractions I listened to my nurses instructions and made my way to the edge of the bed in order to prepare for the epidural. The nurses asked Alli to step out as I was only allowed one support person in the room while the catheter was being inserted. Alli stepped out to the waiting room, while Charles was instructed to sit in front of me. He faced me and I put my feet on his thighs as the bed was raised as high up as it could go. The anesthesiologist numbed my back, inserted the catheter and waited for the epidural to take effect. He worked quickly in between contractions as I squeezed my husband’s hands and my nurse held me still, I felt some fear during the procedure as I had read of horror stories and epidurals going wrong. I prayed that the epidural would work and the pain would not necessarily go away but at least be manageable soon.
After about 8 contractions, I started to feel the effects of the epidural. I laid back in bed and tried to relax. My right lower half of my body started to get very numb, my left side only got slightly tingly. After a few more contractions the anesthesiologist was overly confident that everything was working the way it should and left. I laid in bed for the next two hours waiting for the full effect of the epidural to kick in… it didn’t. I was in tears as half my body was numb and pain free while the other half was feeling every single intense contraction. I felt lopsided, uncomfortable and frustrated. It was almost worse than not having the epidural at all. My nurses tried rolling me on my side to see if the medicine would drain more on my left and it didn’t.
At 7:30am, my midwife Jen came into the room. Through the pain and my tears I was actually really excited to see her. She had made a joke the last time I had saw her that hopefully by her next shift she would see me on the Mother and Baby floor with my baby, but if the baby wanted to wait for her that would be okay too. I said hi to Jen and told her that the baby waited for her. She laughed and said she was happy to see things moving along, As Jen got caught up on my chart, I continued breathing and crying through contractions. Jen suggested I get checked to see where I was at. She checked me and I was only 4 centimeters and 80% effaced. Seriously!? I even screamed seriously as I was in disbelief I hadn’t progressed at all. I was tired. I was defeated and I was feeling done, and yet I still had several hours of labor to go, 6 more centimeters to dilate, plus pushing. How was I going to do this? I was on day 4 of labor, and being in the hospital. The wait and intensity of labor was really starting to wear on me. Charles, Alli, my nurses and my midwife could all tell I was getting exhausted and if I was going to push through and make it to the end, I needed help.
My midwife Jen told my nurses to call in another anesthesiologist. She said it was possible that the epidural was just placed wrong or that I had what they called a hot spot where the medicine didn’t block the pain in a certain part in my body and therefore there wouldn’t be anything they could do.
Moments later a different anesthesiologist arrived. Again I was prepped and positioned for a second epidural. This time the anesthesiologist said I have a slight curve in my back that the first anesthesiologist missed. Due to the slight curve all the medicine from the epidural only went to the right side of my body. He removed the old catheter and placed the new one higher in my back. Within minutes I started feeling relief in my left side along with my already very numb right side. As the anesthesiologist left, I told him he was my favorite person. He chuckled and went on his way. Thank you Jesus. Finally some relief.
I spent the next hour or so resting in bed. I didn’t fall asleep, but rested my mind, and talked to my family on the phone. When it was quiet I listened to my baby’s steady heartbeat on the fetal monitor while also watching my contractions start to intensify on the screen above me. My nurses started my Pitocin again. This would hopefully help to make my contractions strong but also productive in helping me dilate and progress in labor. I was fine with anything at this point since my epidural was finally working the way it was supposed to.
By 10:30am, my nurses and Alli helped get me into different positions to try and open my pelvis in order to progress labor. Since I was completely numb from the waist down (besides being able to wiggle my toes), my nurses had to physically lift me and move me. I first tried laying on my side with a peanut shaped ball in between my legs. I laid on each side for about a half hour, to 45 minutes. Then I continued laying on my side while my nurse and Alli took turns squeezing and massaging my hips, and glutes. During one session of these, my belly was pressed against Alli’s. Without any warning, baby decided to start kicking which took Alli by surprise. She found it funny and weird to feel my baby kick her belly.
Around 11:30am, I tried yet another position where I was on my hands and knees on the bed. My bed was at a 45° angle and I had a beanbag chair placed under my belly for cushion. I then laid over the bean bag chair and laid my head and forearms on a pillow. In this position I talked to Charles and Alli, texted friends, called my parents and tried to relax. It was strange being in this position and not being able to feel my legs. I had a few issues with my fetal monitors picking up baby’s heartbeat. It seemed like baby would move for a moment and it couldn’t be detected but the minute the nurse came in baby decided to move back and the monitor would pick it up again. This happened a few times and it was quite comical. I told my nurse that baby just really wanted to mess with her.
Around noon as I watched my contractions on the screen get more and more intense, I started to get uncomfortable. I wasn’t feeling any contractions but I was starting to feel pressure in my left hip and glutes. At first I thought it was my hip falling asleep or getting more tingly from the epidural. As I continued to lay there the pressure got stronger and gravitated towards my pelvis. By 1pm, I started feeling the sensation every woman talks about when it’s time to push, I felt like I had to poop. The feeling was felt mostly in intervals as if it was during contractions. As my nurses came in to check on me I told them what I was feeling. They told me they would continue to check on me every 20 minutes or so, but to let them know if the pressure became stronger and didn’t go away.
By 1:45pm the pressure and urge to push was not going away. I was thankful. I knew it was almost time to start pushing. I was uncomfortable but excited I would be meeting my baby very soon. I pleaded with my nurses that I wanted to push. They called Jen and told her what I was feeling. My nurses quickly got me out of the hands and knees position and on to my back. Jen gave me one last cervical check and said the words I had been waiting days to hear “You are… complete. So, you can either start pushing now, or wait for baby to descend a little more.” With tears and no hesitation I said “Let’s get this ball rolling, I want to push.” Jen agreed, and got into position. Jen directed Charles to grab my left leg and Alli to grab my right leg. My nurses used a catheter to empty my bladder and suggested inserting an internal monitor so we could see how strong my contractions truly were. I agreed to this and prepared myself to push. Jen instructed me to try and push as I felt the pressure to be more intense which would be during each contraction. She also told me to push like I am having the biggest poop of my life.
At 2pm, I grabbed behind both my knees and started pushing. Every 30 seconds I felt like I was doing ab crunches and having a bowel movement at the same time. Jen was calm and encouraging. She reminded me to breathe and push with my body and not my face. Alli and Charles encouraged me. They told me I was strong and to keep going. At first it felt like I was making no progress. But in the moments where Jen would say “I’m starting to see the head” or Alli saying “Oh my gosh, look at all that hair.” Or even Charles saying “He’s coming babe.” I was able to get a second wind and push harder.
As my baby’s head started to crown, Jen asked if I wanted to feel it. I hesitated at first then decided I did. I reached down and felt so much hair! Jen removed the internal monitor and told me to continue pushing at my own pace. In the moment, I was some what in disbelief that he was coming but also impatient that he wasn’t out yet. As I continued pushing, Jen explained to me that everything was going well and baby was slowly but steadily coming like he was supposed to. A few times in between pushes I panicked because I couldn’t hear the baby’s heartbeat. I was so afraid he was going into distress. I guess Alli read my face because she grabbed the fetal heart beat monitor and pressed it harder on my belly so we could all hear it.
It was 2:30pm and I continued pushing. My adrenaline was running and deep down I was willing to tear my own body apart in order to meet my baby. I felt like it was taking forever. I watched as my midwife put on a gown and set up trays with my nurses at the foot of the bed. She requested some Astroglide to assist with the delivery of the head. Alli and Charles continued encouraging me, telling me baby was beautiful and he was almost there. I remember telling them “that’s great cause he has a big head and I want him out.” After that I had an overwhelming wash of emotion come over me. I started to feel the ring of fire. I was so tired. I had been in labor for days. I was nearing the end but was afraid I was too exhausted to continue. I looked at Charles with tears in my eyes, then looked over at Alli and said “I’m so tired.” Alli said “I know but you’re almost there.”
Charles stroked my head, and Jen told me to give the biggest push I could. I felt a nurse pull down the front part of my hospital gown. With all my might I pushed, and I felt my baby’s body leave mine and I heard the most beautiful cry. A cry I waited my entire life to here. My baby boy was born. At 2:34pm my son entered the world. He was placed on my chest wiggling and crying. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen
During the afterbirth and as I got stitched up for my second degree tear, I held my baby in my arms. I told my son I loved him and that I had been waiting for him. I told him that I had prayed for him and that God answered my prayers. I kissed him and said “Welcome to the world baby. I’m your mom and I’m going to take care of you.”
May I present: Matthew Charles Rhames. He was born on 1/2/22 at 2:34pm weighing 7lbs 11oz and was 20 inches long. I was 39 weeks and 3 days along. A total of 76 hours of labor, 11 1/2 hours of active labor and 30 minutes of pushing. He had ten fingers, ten toes and a full head of hair. Cheeks and lips like his mommy and a nose and chin like his daddy. Oh, and big brown eyes from the both of us. ❤️
Growing up, my mom made sure my childhood was filled with various Christmas traditions. For as long as I can remember, every year we would spend an entire Saturday cleaning the living room and pulling out several totes of Christmas items and decorating our Christmas tree.
When I was about 10, we decided to start the tradition of ordering Chinese food on Christmas Eve. We got this idea from the movie A Christmas Story.
This year, I have been so excited to start some new Christmas traditions with my son. Some I have already started while others I plan to start when he is older.
1. Family Christmas Cards.
I have been doing Christmas cards since Charles and I got married 6 years ago. We started doing family photo Christmas cards the second year we were married. Last year, I was lame and did a virtual Christmas card because I was so close to my due date and my to-do list was piling up. This year I’m thankful I was able to incorporate our fall photos into an adorable Christmas Card.
2. Chinese for Christmas Eve
Not sure if any of ya’ll are aware, but Michigan and a few other states were hit with a blizzard Thursday. So, my family decided to order Chinese food on the 21st instead of Christmas Eve since we are pretty much snowed in until New Years.
3. Start Listening to Christmas Music in November
I can’t tell you exactly what day in November I will start the Christmas music, but you better believe every year I plan to play it!
4. Family Photos in Matching PJs
This year I was very excited to buy some matching pj bottoms and receive matching shirts to create some cute Family Christmas photos.
Here’s a few other Christmas Tradition ideas I hope to start either this year or next year.
Bake Christmas Cookies
Open 1 Gift on Christmas Eve
Put up a Christmas Tree
Watch Christmas Movies
Read the Christmas Story (Jesus’s Birth) on Christmas Eve
Do a Christmas Craft
Do a Christmas Box the day after Thanksgiving with pjs, a movie, and a stuffy.
Grief and Mercy 