The First Time I Saw You

On the morning of February 5th, I was super excited. I could hardly sleep the night before. Today was the day I was having my 8 week ultrasound. Today was the day me and Charles were going to see baby for the very first time 🧡. My appointment was scheduled at 5:15pm at the Alternatives Clinic where I had my pregnancy confirmed. Unfortunately, due to the outrageous winter we were having in Michigan, I kept having to reschedule my OB appointments. As much as I wanted to get my prenatal appointments started… I didn’t want to die getting there. Thankfully, the Alternatives Clinic has a program that if you are unable to get in to see your OB, they will provide a 8 week ultrasound.

So here I was that Tuesday morning, hardly able to contain my excitement. Since my appointment wasn’t until 5:15pm, I still had to go to my internship and try to go about my day as casually as possible. When I arrived at my internship, I was told I was having a meeting with my coordinator and other people within the organization. Was I in trouble? I thought. I disclosed to my coordinator that I was pregnant because I didn’t want her to keep sending me home for what she thought to be a never ending stomach flu. Did she tell everyone else I was pregnant? Were they going to let me go because of my pregnancy? Isn’t that illegal? I was shaken.

During the meeting they were very up front with me and told me that they did not think that because of my situation and with all the snow days, I would be able to complete my internship hours in time. So I had a decision to make. I either needed to ask my instructor for an incomplete, or withdrawal from my internship and appeal or ask to be moved from this internship site. The stress of this decision hit me like a ton of bricks. What was I going to do?

As I thought about my decision throughout the day I realized I didn’t really like my internship anymore. I was very excited when I first started earlier in the semester, but once I found out I was pregnant, everything changed. This wasn’t the work I wanted to do any more. So, as hard as it was I went to my coordinator and told her I didn’t want to do this anymore. She suggested I take a few days and give her my final answer then.

At 4:30pm Charles picked me up and we headed to the Alternatives Clinic. Despite my emotional and stressful day, I was still really excited. I was pregnant so I was a bundle of emotions. On the way there I drank 20 oz. of water. I was also instructed not to pee until after the ultrasound as it helps the technician see the baby better when you have a full bladder. Once we arrived to the clinic and checked in, I really had to pee…. but I couldn’t. I had to hold it. Looking back, I’m sure I was really annoying complaining to Charles in the waiting room about how much I had to pee.

They called us back about ten minutes later. We went into a room and went over some basic information. To be honest, it was very hard to focus when all I could think about was my full bladder. We were then moved to the ultrasound room. I got up on the table and laid back. I lifted up my shirt and the technician placed some warm gel on my belly. She then moved a wand over my belly.

Charles sat in a chair next to the table and we both watched the large screen on the wall. The technician looked at my ovaries before moving on to look at baby. I was getting slightly nervous since she wasn’t saying anything. Was everything ok?

“I see baby by the way, I’m just checking your ovaries first.” A sigh of relief washed over me. She sees baby, it’s gonna be okay. I continued praying in my head that everything was going to be alright.

The ultrasound tech zoomed in on baby…. and I saw her. So tiny. So innocent. So fragile. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe I was seeing this. I couldn’t believe the concept of two people who fell in love and made a baby. We made this baby. God allowed this to happen. It was indescribably amazing.

“There really is a baby in there!” I said choked up with tears in my eyes. This was real. I was really pregnant. There really is a baby. We were having a baby. The technician took screenshots of our beautiful little miracle. “Such a cute little raspberry.” I said excited. The technician zoomed in on the picture and explained that the little flicker in the middle of baby was her sweet little heartbeat. I couldn’t believe it. Her heart was beating inside of me. This was incredible. Based on my last period I was 8 weeks and 1 day. However, baby was measuring at 7 weeks and 4 days. Her heart rate was 142, completely normal. When the ultrasound was over and I was FINALLY able to pee, we were given a few pictures to take home. We were also given nutrition information, and a homemade baby blanket. The nurse who assisted me in my pregnancy test, prayed over me, my husband and baby before we left.

That night I texted everyone who knew I was pregnant a picture of the ultrasound. Everyone was so excited for us. My momma called me and even started crying. It was such a beautiful end to a emotional day. That night I placed one of the pictures of baby on my nightstand. I stared at the picture until I fell asleep. I was so in love. This little baby is what I have always wanted. I couldn’t wait to meet her. 🧡

One thought on “The First Time I Saw You

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s