Finding out I was Pregnant…

On Wednesday January 9th, my spring semester had just begun. My friend Andrea was in town and we made plans to hang out with her sister Alli. After I got out of class at 11:30 we headed over to Alli’s apartment. Spending time with these two, it felt like no time had changed. Sure, we hadn’t seen each other in months due to work, school and other obligations, but it was nice that we could pick up in our funny and intimate conversations right where we left off.

That day, I remember feeling very nauseous. This symptom wasn’t very out of the ordinary for me. Since having my gall bladder out when I was fourteen, I seem to get nauseous pretty easily. But this was different. Sometimes I get nauseous if I don’t eat, but I was still feeling nauseous even after I ate. Nothing was satisfying this hunger or nausea. During our time together, Andrea asked me what was wrong.

“I just feel really nauseous” I said while staring at a bowl of popcorn.

“Oh, I’m sorry….. could you be pregnant?” She asked with a slight smile.

“No, I’m not” I said. Then got to thinking about it. I am three days late. But I’ve been three days late before. So, no I’m not pregnant. I’m just gonna start my period any time now.

“Is it possible?” She asked some what eager.

“Of course it’s possible.” I said very matter of factly. I mean, I am married and I do have sex. So, the only way to be 100% protected from pregnancy is to be abstinent. And let’s be real… that’s not an option for me. 🙂

The conversation changed to something else, and I tried just to brush it off. Later that day I headed to work and made pizza and cut chicken at the dining center on campus. Throughout my shift I couldn’t help but wonder. Could I be pregnant? I didn’t feel good, but it could just be PMS. I was a few days late, but I have been a few days late before. I did stop taking my birth control for awhile and we just used condoms. Did we forget to use a condom a few times? Why can’t I remember? I was stone cold sober so I should be able to remember. As I was having a million thoughts race around in my head, and ultimately freaking myself out… I texted my friend Alli on my break. I told her I was freaked out and asked her to pick up two pregnancy tests, and if she could come over after I got home from work.

When I got home from work I was anxious. I felt ridiculous. There’s no way I’m pregnant. Charles left to go to a study group and I tried my best to play it cool. I know how he is and there’s no need to freak him out until I know for sure. After Charles left I took some time to calm down and pray that everything we be okay no matter what happens.

When Alli arrived she had the biggest freakin’ grin on her face.

“Stop!” I said matter of factly, red in the face.

“I didn’t say anything.” She said with a chuckle.

“No, but your face said it all!” I said very sassy.

Alli just smiled and gave me the pregnancy test box. She bought the really expensive Clear Blue brand. One test had the lines and the other test has the word “pregnant” or “not pregnant”. She told me she’d be out in my living room waiting.

I went into the bathroom and closed the door. I decided to use the digital test first. I grabbed a Dixie cup and peed in the cup. I then dipped the stick into my urine and set the timer on my phone. In three minutes I would get the results. In those three minutes I refused to look at the stick. In my mind I just kept thinking about my plan B. So, if I am pregnant I will have to lighten my load this semester, start buying maternity clothes, figure out what I can and can’t eat, get insurance, oh, crap I don’t have health insurance! By this time it had been just over a minute. I decided to sneak a peek at the test. I looked at the test and froze….

Pregnant…. I’m pregnant…. I’M PREGNANT!?!?

I stared at the test for what felt like forever. I was overcome by shock, joy, fear, excitement, confusion and peace all at once. I came out of the bathroom and went to Alli in the living room. I tried really hard, but there was no way I could hide the shocked expression on my face. She looked up at me and grinned.

“What?” She said staring. I set the test on the coffee table. She looked at it. “What!?” I sat down next her, and she clobbered me with a hug. “Oh, you have wanted this for a long time. I am so happy for you! Congratulations!” It’s true. I have always wanted to be a mom… ya know, I just thought I’d be done with school first.

Pregnant. I’m pregnant. I couldn’t believe it. Honestly, if my friend Andrea hadn’t asked me if I was pregnant, I probably wouldn’t have taken a test for a few more days. My life that day completely changed. Every decision I made this point forward wasn’t just about me or me and Charles anymore. It was about the three of us. This baby may not have been planned, but that didn’t matter to me. I was pregnant and this was only the beginning.

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